Hyper Sensitivity to the Moods of Others

[Wem]

Does anyone else find they are hyper sensitive to the mood of others since the SAH?

I find I struggle dealing with certain individuals or situations more than others and I am beginning to wonder if I react to the mood of those individuals.

I find it particularly difficult delaing with anyone who is hyper-active, I struggle to have conversations with them and end up feeling stressed and totally exhausted!

[Winb143]

Wem

I wrote that I cannot take noise anymore is this the same as you feel ?

Hope you feel brighter and do not let it get to you when possible xx

Be Happy

WinB143

Edited September 24, 2013 by Winb143

[Wem]

Win,

Noise does affect me at times, but seemingly not as much as trying to keep mental pace with a mini whirlwind! Talking fast, rushing from one task to another etc.

Staying positive, just trying to come up with a coping strategy at the moment.

Thanks,

Wem

[MaryB]

It all depends how tired I am at the time. At work I have clients that are hysterical sometimes, loud or fast talker etc… we had hysterical the other day – I helped my co worker for about 60 seconds until we were done and I walked out of the room. Now had this been one of the clients I was in charge of I would have had to suck it up and deal with it and somehow you do but it fills my “limit” cup for the day.

I just avoid those people. Really, I cannot handle people that play the victim, are angry at really nonsense, hyper, talk loud, sometimes people that just want to talk in a normal conversation when my limit is full. One thing I really notice is my intolerance for people that have gone through a life altering event and come out the same as they were before. I think all of this teaches us something about being a better person. I find I would rather be with someone that has some depth to them.

It is very rude at times but as I have said before I a loud hyper person that tells a story instead of a sentence at work and I have crossed the line by putting my hand on her mouth to "Shhhhhhhh" her. Note I work with barking dogs, phones ringing, intercom paging someone, people talking. By noon I think everyone is shouting.

I like silence, I watch TV without a bunch of loud talkers ( talk shows arguing etc.),

Both my sons are pretty quite guys but even when they come up and visit it is exahusting trying to have a conversation for 8 hours or so while visiting. I sometimes think it is where I am at that day but also their personality.

Like I would never invite my one friend to go shopping for a day. Many reasons but she likes to talk, have lunch, browse, dilly dally around. If it were like 2 hours ok but not those all day things unless I was really prepared for them.

I also think it is a way to sort of meditate without you realizing you are doing it just by needing or being quite. It is saving your brain from having to process all that stuff. I think shutting down is a life saver right now.

Maryb

[Karen]

Wem, I have parents that talk at the same time, normally about a different subject matter, so I'm having to juggle two conversations at once. They've always been the same, so it's not an age thing, it's more like they need to compete with each other and don't have the good manners to let somebody finish a sentence without butting in.

I can normally do a maximum of 2 hours with them and then I'm completely wiped out and I'm 8 years post this SAH.

I still find one to one full on conversation after a few hours tiring and after a while I shut off ... or should I say, my brain does.

My emotional state, especially during the first 3 years post SAH was awful and I was all over the place ... I was extremely sensitive and overly so. I'm happy to say, that I'm back to normal on that score.

There is a condition called Emotional Lability post SAH/Stroke - http://www.strokefoundation.com.au/blog/?tag=emotional-lability It's something that I certainly suffered from. xx

[jhelms]

Oh goodness, Yes! I play off of others frustrations big time! there is a tone in my husbands voice, that instantly shatters me and my nerves. I don't really know what it is, but he doesn't see it , and he is not angry or stressed at the time, but it comes across as panic in his voice to me. The gotta gotta gotta do this and that and this and that.

And on the days where my kids are super hyper, usually because we have been to see the grandparents and they have filled them full of sugar, it totally wrecks me. I love them to the moon and back and I know they are just kids being kids, but there are days that I can not handle anymore. Those days, I do my best to get outside, or even go somewhere alone , so that I can unwind.

[Lin-lin]

Wow! This has struck a chord with me. I have a really complicated issue that I am working through at present and it aggravating my issues with anxiety.

I am very sensitive to other people’s moods and seem to mirror them. Since my SAH I have had a massive cull of friends / acquaintances. The friends remaining are the more flexible, stable types.

There is one individual in my life who, for whatever reason, displays very wide fluctuations in moods. I am not unsympathetic to the causes of these moods, but it is inconsistent with my need for structure and stability and affects my wellbeing.

I do not know from one day to the next what the mood of this person will be, putting me on edge the day before a meeting and aggravating my insomnia. When in a low mood, this person can be contrary and I find the situation upsetting and exhausting.

One strategy I am using, (a tip from my recent therapy) is to visualise a line between myself and the other person. I need to accept that what goes on the other side of the line is nothing to do with me.

It’s difficult, but I hope to work it through because it is essential for other family members that I do.

Edited November 21, 2013 by Lin-lin

[iola]

I am the youngest of seven with husbands, and nieces and nephews, and great nieces and nephews, and friends that all get together and talk loud at the same time. I used to be right in the thick of it. Not now, I just sit back and regress into my safe place and smile.

"I"

[jhelms]

I am also very distant from my inlaws. They are a very loud bunch ...not knocking but they are Italians, which are known to be loud and very vocal. LOL It blows my nerves up because I am very quiet spoken. I was before , but really am now. Very sensitive to loud talking , even if it is all in fun and lighthearted.

[Wem]

Thank you for all the repsonses, once again affirmation that I am not alone in this!

Lin, I like the idea of drawing a line between me and the individual who is creating my stress. Defintiely plan to try that one.

Wem

[victoria conway]

Oh - how I empathise with all that has been written here. In my job, I have to deal with a lot of people's stress. I am the manager of a charity which provides financial administration services for disabled/ill folk who receive direct payments for their care and have to deal with the implications of this themselves like employment taxes, returns of their spending to the authorities and, quite simply, paying for their care.

They are often very anxious people, particularly at the outset when things don't happen exactly when and how they expect. Sometimes, they rant and rave over the phone - both to my staff and eventually to me. I find it helpful to actually say that I cannot deal with this because of my own illness and that usually diffuses the situation.

Alas, it does not always work and some people are simply abusive - and foul-mouthed. Then I say, politely, that I cannot continue the conversation and put the phone down. My staff have instructions to follow the same lines. No-one should be expected to take abuse - whether well or not - and saying so directly is the answer.

As for other things in life - like many of you I cannot tolerate noise - particularly that of electrical saws and strimmers etc - it seems to me that no man is happy without such a tool in his hands and some days I just want to scream at them to stop - there is enough buzzing in my head already!

Situations with lots of people talking - like events at the yacht club that my husband wants me to go to - I cannot cope with it - sorry, no. Even the supermarket with people coming towards me, apparently not seeing me (I'm only 5 feet tall and have always had a problem in crowded situations) and, with my now dodgy balance - I avoid.

Online shopping is the answer. It is all a bit isolating though - but there is always the village shop across the way where people know me and help - the shop owner even carries my shopping home for me when I need it. I am lucky there - even if the journey to the shop is a bit fraught with hazard.

First, I have to cross a busy road - there is a zebra crossing but many people ignore it. I have even had a police car sweep across me in front of me on one occasion! On the other side the pavement is narrow and a passing lorry can cause me to fall into a doorway - which happens to be that of the village pub - so, I am probably the only person I know who falls into a pub rather than out of it!

And who was it said that she heard the tone in her husband's voice - "gotta do this and that" - oooh, I know that and it's every day, isn't it? And from the beginning of each day. It colours life.

Sorry, I'm rambling - are we hyper-sensitive? No - we simply have a brain injury which has changed our tolerances of so many things. We have to learn to adapt to it in the same way as we adapt to the exhaustion wall, which still hits me - usually when I really don't want it.

Don't know whether I should post this - but will do - love to all, Victoria

[kpaggett]

OK, my weird take on it:

We had the terrible stress of SAH. We are hyper-sensitized to any kind of stress because of it. Just like if someone tapped you on a sunburnt shoulder makes you cry ouch, while normally it wouldn't phase you.

At this point, I wouldn't trade this new found sense for anything because it is better than intuition regarding if I should hang out with this other person or not. Stressful people bring stress to me which in turn causes bad things in my body and soul. However, it is really difficult to be the most sensitive person in the room...crying at the smallest things or not being able to focus on a group meeting because there are stressful people there or just looking at beautiful art. Beauty really makes me cry. I can't listen to any songs with meaningful words anymore which is hard because I am a music therapist...not practicing, now.

I've learned to treat emotional states from others like waves spilling onto the beach, they come up and then they will recede. It may take a while, but they do go away and it helps to label them as belonging to someone else so I can release it. Hard to do around someone who is grieving, always variable, or always stressed out.

~Kris