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Another incident to deal with!!

First night of hols, FIRST NIGHT.

****, ****, shitshitshit!!!!

Here I am drunk (now) ****** off and angry. Go for a beer, came home. Walked into the kitchen to see heather stood leaning on the side with her jeans round her ankles with a guy.

I reacted in an angry way ( understatement of the year) ha ha ha . Told the guy to leave and heped him to the gate.

How do I stop reacting like this?

Bollox, bollox bollox. Its bollox but its also how I react, Hmmmph what next? lol.

WEish i could vanish!


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Sorry to hear that Heather had another incident just when you were looking forward to your time together.

Your reactions are natural of course you felt angry and what other way could you react. You have to remember that first and foremost you are Heather's husband and you love her your reactions are normal.

You have a deep inner strength that you have been able to draw on that allows you to see Heathers condition as the illness that it is and provide the love and support that she needs.

I can't pretend to know what you must be suffering at the moment but I do know that Heather is a very lucky woman to have such a supportive person.

Janet x

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Hi Andy

So sorry to hear that. Janet is right - your reactions are completely normal, you're reacting as the loving husband you are. Your strength and understanding of Heather's condition is amazing, it really is, and I dont think you should berate yourself for being angry - you do a fantastic job.

Hope you're both ok this morning.

Blondie x

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Hi Andy

I can only agree with whats been said already.

You are a fantastic husband and you react the way you do because you love her and it hurts - you are reacting normally.

You are her tower of strength and the fact that you know this is due to her illness and not just the way she is, is the reason that the anger is also partly frustration.

You have every right to feel the way you do hun.

Try to stay strong - as difficult as it is to do and as easy for me to say.

You are a remarkable man Andy.

Sami xxx

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Really sorry to hear that it's happened again, Andy .... you're bound to feel angry ... who wouldn't? Has Heather been taking her medication? Just hope that you've been able to talk to somebody about it .... it's one hell of a load to deal with.

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I just want to say and agree with everything everyone else has said,

what an amazing man you are.

The only way I can even go some way to understanding is that my son has a severe mental illness and when he is ill I would not even write on this site what happens to him, I think thats why when I read your posts it sometimes makes me cry, because in another way you too have the painful experience of seeing someone you love dearly behave as if they were not that person. (Hope that makes sense)

We also Andy have that wonderful blessing of learning to love unconditionally. Heather is definitely not herself when these incidents happen, just as my Matts not but the pain of seeing them when their brain just isn't engaging right is sometimes too hard to bear.

You swear, moan,

say whatever you want to on here mate, let it be your sounding board.

Will be praying for the two of you,

Love Suexx

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Wow I really was drunk when I wrote that!!!

Thanks you lot for the things you have written. I didn't get angry with heather. The guy bore the full brunt of any emotions that were let loose at that point. My hands are swollen and I feel bad about what happened. Oh well, he was in my house and he took a chance. His fault I suppose!

I just wish I hadn't reacted as violently.

Thats my next mission, to learn not react this way.

Thanks again for being something to fall back on.


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Hi Andy and Heather,

Am really sorry about whats happened. I wouldn't be too hard on yourselves, I think you reacted naturally and you are indeed only human.

You both are in a horrible situation, but are dealing with it the best you can. You have been amazing and brave sharing your stories with others. You've been doing loads to raise awareness and help others. Try not to let this rob you of all the good work you have been doing. I think its especially tough when things have going well. Look after yourselves.

You take care, good luck over the next wee while.


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