The Fog is Lifting

[Vivien]

When I left hospital a doctor said that it would take me a long time emotionally and physically to recover, I didn't take him seriously as I didn't feel too bad and now looking back four months on I think I was in a kind of daze, it was only after a month or two at home that I began to realise the seriousness of what had happened and the affect is has had on me. I get a lot of headaches, I can't remember things, I am easily overwhelmed by too many people, noise and a trip to the shops leaves my brain whizzing, and I have real trouble sleeping. I seem to need to lead a very quiet life or I start having anxiety attacks. I am now just beginning to accept that I have been deeply affected by the SAH and wonder how much I will recover and how long it will take.

[bogbrush]

Hi Vivien

Glad that the fog is lifting.

All of what you are experiencing is very common in the early months following SAH and I'm sure everyone here can echo that. I remember my first trip to the supermarket very well ... not a nice experience!

That doctor was right when he said it would take a long time. Most doctors seem to put some time scale to recovery, but none of them really know. Recovery can take months, even years and I don't know anyone who has not been deeply affected by SAH.

Sometimes recovery is only in small steps or even a step backwards. You just have to try and take some comfort from those small steps and take each day as it comes. Things do get better with time ... sometimes lots of it.

The support of everyone here is great and I don't know what I would have done without it.

Regards

Keith

[rince]

It can take a while for the fog to lift, but that needn't mean that your life has to stop whilst it thins out. There is help out there for people in our situation it just needs a kick start, ask your GP if there is anything in your area in terms of neuro rehab, get someone to contact Headway and see what they have in your local area.

We have had in various degrees a life changing experience and where you go from where you are now is very much down to your own personal physical and psyc circumstances. Just because someone else has recovered quicker than you does not mean that you will not make the same sort of recovery over a longer term. The hardest thing I had to learn was that I was NOT going to have another haemorraghe and once I had really accepted that I could begin to look longer term which is really helping me on the road back.

Small steps for now, but keep going!

Scott

[Karen]

Hi Vivien,

I'm not sure whether this is of comfort to you or not, but what you're experiencing is typical and normal for most of us after a SAH. I think that you really do have to remember that you're ill .... and it's okay and not to beat yourself up when you can't cope with certain situations ... the only thing that we can do, is try to manage them.

I tend to do the bulk of my shopping on the internet, especially Grocery .... I only visit the shops when they're quiet and pick up a small basket load of fresh items .... either, first thing in the morning or in the evening. You have to find ways of making life more comfortable for yourself .... If I'm shopping, then I always make a list .... I put the really important stuff at the top and do that first .... if I can't manage any more, then I will go home.....if I can, then it's a bonus, but that doesn't happen too often.

You are still very early on in your recovery ..... stay positive and if you have a partner, then speak to them ..... tell them what you need and if you can't cope at the minute with certain situations, then don't, as the anxiety can often increase..... I used to force myself to do things when I wasn't feeling up to it and it always backfired on me and left me feeling like a failure, when I couldn't cope....but being the feisty person that I was before the SAH, I didn't like to feel that it could beat me .... now, I just laugh at myself....but, then again I'm just over 2 years into recovery.

I also suffer from anxiety attacks .... which I think, is a legacy from the damage to my brain.... I can go for weeks now, not having one, but I can wake up in the morning and feel as though somebody has flicked a switch and I worry about the smallest of things ..... Your GP can prescribe you something for anxiety, if it's a problem and don't be frightened to ask. You can get help.... Occupational Therapy is also something that you could ask your GP about......I never knew it existed and I wish that I was offered it at the early stages. Whatever you do, don't struggle with this and just because you can walk and talk, doesn't mean to say that you can't ask for help or don't deserve it.

Be kind to yourself and like I say, remember that you're ill and it's okay... Recovery keeps going for years and it does get better with time ...

[Blondie]

Hi Vivien, how's things?

I can back up exactly what is said here - but to put it in context for you (!) first time I watched someone else play a bit of Quake 3, I felt dizzy, and frightened that I could never play again, let alone take in that much visual and audio stimulation. First time I played ET (over 2 months after SAH), 30 minutes was more than enough, and I did feel unwell after.

I feel fab most of the time nowadays (I am almost 3 years post SAH now) - I'm more effected by noise, by stress - but I've adjusted my life so I can rest when I need to, and I listen to what my body and brain tell me to do.

It is a major thing we've all been through, and it does change your life, but - well, I read your post and remembered feeling just like that, but life does just creep back up you. I think Keith is right - take comfort from your small steps. Personally I think it does no good to compare too much to your old life, although I also know it's really hard not to.

I play ET, and Quake, when I fancy it, but there are days when Sim City is all I'm up for.

Hope that makes sense to you

Love Blondie x

[Holly]

Hi Claire,

Bless you, I feel the same as you. I guess like they say time is a great healer.

I'm just so glad that I came accross this wonderful site because this site has been more help and support to me than anything. The people and their advice has been very much appreciated.

Keep the chin up, we're all in this together.

You take care,

[Vivien]

Thankyou all for the words of encouragement

They are a great help to me because although I have a lot of family and friends who care for me ( my 78 year old Dad brings my lunch round every day!) I feel a bit lonely because it is so hard to explain how it is now. My husband is very supportive but tries to wrap me in cotton wool.

Some days I can be positive and others the negatives overwhelm me.

It is so good to be able to communicate here and know that others have made it through.

[Joan]

Vivien - your experience is so true and it is great you can articulate it because it captures what a lot of us have felt (its fair to say I didn't realise I WAS in a fog until about 6 months post-SAH). We've each come through in different ways and what has happened has taken each of us differently with different ways of coping. Hope that things continue to "clear"; its lovely that you have both family and a partner who are so supportive. Take care, Joanxx

[Louise]

Hi there

Your not alone that's for sure, I took a good 6 months before the haze lifted a bit anyway, but what a wonderful feeling to feel a little bit back again. That feeling came and went for a long time.

Take care

Louise.