How long after Aneurysm until you felt like sex again?

[Guest Petra]

My SO had an aneurysm middle of July this year. It started bleeding, he went into hospital, had surgery the next day and during surgery it popped.

He was in the hospital for 2 weeks, then I took him home because I felt I could care better for him at home and he wanted so badly to come home.

It was 3 months yesterday and he is 99 % back to normal. Occasionally he has a bit of short term memory loss, but that is about it. And..... no sexdrive to speak off. Before the aneurysm happend we had a very good sexlife (1-2 times a day). We had sex 2 times since it happend but nothing the last months. We do cuddle and feel very close though.

Oh one thing, his BP is borderline high, he has appointment with his doc, we measured for 2 weeks now.

We have talked about it once and he said, he needs more time which is totally ok with me.

How was it for everyone here, when did your sexdrive come back???

[Janet]

Hi Petra and welcome

I had my SAH in November last year. I think that after having had the SAH it makes you a lot more cautious about having sex. My husband was and still is slightly scared of making love in case it causes another bleed even though it didn't happen during intercourse.

On a personal level I found that frustrating at times but I also realise that early on I just didn't have the energy anyway. Morris is really patient and lets me take the lead so I feel no pressure at all to perform. I don't think that I'll ever get back to pre SAH levels but its strenghthened our relationship in many other ways.

I think its just a case of being patient and your partner will let you know when he's ready.

Janet x

[Karen]

Hi Petra,

Some people do have a decline with their sex drive .... it all depends on what part of the brain has been affected by the bleed.... it's not unusual... When you're suffering constant fatigue, sometimes, the only thing that you want to do at night, is go to sleep.... If the SAH happened after having sex then you have something else to deal with ... there are a lot of guys on this website that have experienced this and I'm sure that they'll be happy to help.

All I can suggest is talk .... you haven't said how the SAH occurred/circumstances etc... but if it happened during or after sex, then I can understand how your partner might be feeling...

If your partner had a SAH that wasn't connected with sex, then I'm sure that with a bit of talking, you'll be able to get through this ... but, you do need to talk .... I know that talking to a partner, isn't always easy ... it may take a while, but do express your needs ... do it gently, but there are ways and means ... without being too crude!

Talk to him .... but be patient .... I'm not saying that your sex life will be the same as before, but take small steps .... I'm 2 and a bit years post SAH and I really don't consider myself back to normal .... my motto is "quality and not quantity" .... perhaps, that's just me..

Wishing you the very best of luck....

[Guest Petra]

Thank you

My SO's SAH occured during work, so no worries there.

In regards to fatique, he is fine during the day. But you are right, in the evening, pretty much as soon as we are in bed, he falls asleep and he sleeps as long as he can in the morning.

And he said, he will need some more time and that is just fine----I was just wondering what everyone else's experience is. And yes, I am aware, everyone's experience is different .

Thanks again and this is a wonderful place to learn!!!

[Karen]

Hi Petra,

3 months post SAH is pretty early to "get back to normal" as such, whatever you term normal after this! .... it sounds as though you had a good relationship before the SAH happened, just give it time .... enjoy the cuddles .... I'm afraid to say that sex was the last thing on my agenda at first, but you will get there and it will happen. Just keep the communication open and it does get better. After having the SAH, getting through the day and just keeping my eyes open, past 6pm was a challenge!

[rince]

From a male point of view...... My SAH didn't occur during sex so I really don't have an issue from that area but I will say that the "normal" times for having sex were a no no because of being overtired. Apart from the physical side (stroke effect) it wasn't really problematical (is that a word?) for me but it can differ from person to person.

[Skippy]

Hey there

My SAH happened just after sex and it took me three months to even contemplate it - we were both scared. Our sex life isn't back to normal. It's been 14 months since my SAH and I'm still wary and too tired in the evening. We are closer in other ways though and intimacy isn't a problem. Paul has been very patient with me - and like Janet and Morris, he lets me take the lead and there is no pressure. You just have to go with the flow, so to speak. Cuddling and kissing is just as good a way to show intimacy. Stay patient and things will slowly get better - there are no guarantees that they will be the way they were before, but things will improve.

TTFN

Sami xxx

[Guest Petra]

Thanks guys, I "knew" all that but to read it from people who have gone through it just makes it more "real" and makes it easier to understand and go with the flow.

Good luck and complete recovery to everyone here, this is an amazing BB.

[Guest yasmin]

my SAH was Jan this year and I used to have a very healthy sex drive, its not so good these days can take it or leave it, lucky enough my partner has always had a low sex drive so he's fine with it.

[rampmama]

Hi Petra,

I had my SAH in Mar 07 and I have just noticed my sex drive returning to normal this month. I think when some suffers an SAh, so many things are happening at once. So many emotions to deal with. Many you don't even know you have. Even last month I had a panic attack during sex because I thought it was going to happen again. (My SAH was during the act.) So I hope it all returns to a normal state for you two, but be patient because rushing you SO can make things very complicated. Good Luck.

Linda

[Guest Petra]

Just an update. Sex life is totally back to normal and so is everything else, we are both extremly happy and my SO is more into fitness, exercising and eating right than he was before SAH--that I consider an extra plus