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Isolation


Guest Samijoliz
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Guest Samijoliz

Has anyone had experiences with being isolated from friends and loved ones after their stroke?

I feel like my life has stopped since mine. My friends don't call anymore. Period. You'd think they'd be calling now. I email and tell them what's up with me...nothing. I could see if there were major struggles in their lives, but for the most part, my friends are living happy, normal, stable lives.

And I think about my mortality alone. I feel this isn't fair. And I wonder what type of people I have brought into my life that I can feel this way.

Should I say something?

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Hi there

You poor thing, sounds like you are really feeling it at the moment.

I feel isolated at times. There are things that it feels like neither family nor friends understand. Frustratingly, even close members of my family sometimes seem to forget about my SAH!

I *did* lose a friend post-SAH, as they couldn't cope with the idea of serious illness. That hurt, but I kind of understand it too. It's human nature I think, not to want to face our mortality, unless you've had something happen to you like we have. It's the sort of thing I come here to talk about - you can always say what you want here, and someone will understand where you're coming from... :)

I would talk to your friends Samantha but maybe try not to assume they are ignoring you. They may not know how to be with you anymore - they might want to let you take it at your own pace, or they might be scared. Hopefully they are still the same good people you liked before.

You never know what is going on - they might be stressed about things, or have worries, but not want to tell you because hey feel it pales into insignificance when you take the SAH into account? Obviously I could be talking complete rubbish, but I just think it's worth asking them before you feel that way.

Have a hug (o)

love Blondie x

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Hi

You are definitely not on your own. I found that my so called friends started to distance themselves from me because although I looked normal I was unable to do the things I used to. I used to enjoy a beer but since my SAH I rarely go into a pub so they find me boring, also I find it difficult to walk far ( I also have arthritis ) and friends say to me that I should go and walk across the meadows nearby as it will do me good. I wish I could but if you tell them you can't all they do is laugh. It is very difficult but just remember your real friends will stick by you, you are better off without the others. I am constantly being called a miserable old b!!!!r because I can't do the things I used to but I just let it ride, they are the ignorant ones not you.

Cheers

John

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Yes i felt the same as you at the start i moved away from freinds and family and my husband doesn't care 5yrs and too kids later he just doesn't care at all i am really sorry you are going through this but it will get better i have new friends my family are supportive excluding husband who just says i am moaning all the time, oh well never mind his dad is ill at the moment and he wonders why i show no sympathy at all but its not about his dad its about him he says hurtful things all the time and then expects me to comfort him when he hasn't got a kind word for me at all these days. Jess.

Good luck i am sorry i went of the top8ic but it will get better get rid of all the useless people in your life and move forward

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And I thought it was just me. :roll:

Since the SAH friends and family have ignored me, they dont know what to say, so I speak to them I'm up front with them I'll speak about what they avoid the SAH has changed me, but I think its been for the better some people cant understand why I'll think that but its made me stronger in other ways.

The true friends are the ones that are still around, and yes you are far better than the ones that arent.

Hugs L.xx

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Guest Samijoliz

So I'm not imagining things.

I'm sorry that you all have had similar experiences. I am kind of quiet to begin with, and I wonder sometimes what we as humans do to one another.

I used to see myself as in "frail health", but now it's just downright scary sometimes, you know? But I take it day by day. I got my wisdom teeth pulled yesterday, and my mom and brother were right, that did contribute a great deal to how I was feeling overall. I slept like a baby last night, for the first time in a long time.

It kind of hurts that those who I thought were my closest friends are now ignoring me, and it is true, they could have things going on in their lives, but all I really need is a call now and then, a "hello", you know? I don't really even get that. And with my self-doubts, I start wondering if they're avoiding me because of something I've done.

And I can definitely relate to those who don't understand that post SAH, you can't move around like you used to. I bought myself a bowling ball year before last, and didn't use it during all of 2007. I miss some of my old activities. I'll have good weeks, but more often than not, I'll have those bad weeks where I'm just really really tired, and it takes all I have just to make it into work.

Some people are really compassionate, and some people I'm friends with I feel have an excuse, we didn't see each other often to begin with. But there are others who pass my house each week who don't bother even to stop by and say hi, others who only come by when it benefits them...these things hurt me. But you move on.

I hope you all are doing well this evening. I'm so glad it's Friday and that Monday is a holiday for us. Be blessed.

Hugs,

Samantha

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Hi Samantha

I have had a mixed reaction from friends and work colleagues since my sah. I was always an outgoing fun loving guy who enjoyed to help friends whenever i could.

Recently some "friends" have been sadly missing when i have emailed or called them since sah. It maybe that they lack confidence on how to approach me in case they see the differences that have occured.

The big bonus to me is that some family and friends have been tremendous and i do try to focus on the wonderful people they are rather than the others.

I hope the above makes sense.

Enjoy the holiday

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Guest Samijoliz

Hey All,

Yes Stephen, what you said does make sense. I'm slowly learning to accept the way things are, though some days I rail against it. Other days I think I'm being tested, and I just have to let my faith carry me through it. Some days I think I'm well rid of such people that would abandon me at a time like this. And other days I don't think about it at all.

Right now I'm just trying to take things one day at a time, and enjoy life. I hope that you all are doing well this week. I'm getting used to eating with a new "mouth". :lol: It's strange not having wisdom teeth.

Be blessed,

Samantha

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