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Wow Nessie that was a great speech and wonderful that you could convey your situation so eloquently Well Done

Hi I find i have great difficulty in filtering out background noise i have just been out for a mothers day meal with family and the pub was noisy as could be expected. This made it very difficult for me to hear people on my table I agree it is not my ears that are faulty as in contrast i find i have to turn the TV down from the volume my husband has if I watch it on my own it is definately more a problem with "multitasking" or being able to think or concentrate whilst in a noisy environment. I have the same problem at work where I cannot think if the others in the office are talking loudly. I had my non annie SAH last February and I am otherwise good but I find any problem is worse when tired and the tiredness continues with me working full time managing a finance department for a council. Di

I too had been suffering from stress at work for a month or so before my SAH. The bleed happened when I was power walking to work - pushing hard and strong going up a hill. Think it was probably the strain of pushing myself so hard that caused the bleed There was no cause for the SAH found and i am now frightened to exert my self again

Hi Sonia I also used Columbus Direct when I was travelling to France 3.5 months after my SAH It cost £63 for 1 weeks european cover for me and my husband and I declared my SAH with 6 mnthly reviews explaining I had recently been inn hospital and I also declared my husbands diabetes I thought it was a great price for peace of mind Di

Hi All it is now 4 months since my last post about my SAH on 11th February 2010 and I am feeling so much better People always want you to qualify how well you feel.... " are you 100% yet" "are you back to normal" I would say I am probably better now than I was before My attitude is now much more positive as I realise what are the inportant things in life It used to be very important for me to always be right about things so I could be quite argumentative - not now!! I have had to spend the first 3-4 months relying on other people to help me, drive me, make decisions for me, reassure me that now I have finally realised other people can actually know better than me!!What a realisation after 53 years but hell it has made things so much easier as I don't have to be responsible for everything now I can trust others I have been getting physically stronger all the time and I think the 6 month post SAH was a milestone for me as I chose to take the walk to work that I was doing when I had the haemorrage. I think doing this and finally trusting my body again was a turning point and I have improved steadily since then. I still get more tired than before when concentrating hard on complex things at work and i still have difficulty multitasking but i just accept this as a new way of life and accept my body's limitations....... no more beating myself up for not meeting my own exacting standards. But as I accept this for myself I have also learnt to accept it with others so I have a tolerance that was sadly missing prior to my "incident" There are still things I don't like such as coffee or Vimto, and I now drink more pop and eat cakes and icecream!! Think I have reverted to a child...lol In all seriousness though I do believe our bodies look after us and I think the SAH caused my brain to switch to "safe mode" much like a computer with a virus. I lost all the taste and sophistication of 50 years experience and became a small child emotionally again. I looked for reassurance all the time from my peers and elders and found I was just as happy with a cup of milk and biscuits as opposed to the restaurant meal and a bottle of red wine. I would cry and throw things if I couldnt explain things easily and I felt stupid a lot of the time. However, I am now feeling great and "almost 100%" incase you need figures to qualify recovery/acceptance. I just wanted all you newbees especially to know that it does get better and although you may have dark times when you feel you will never be your old self just trust that the new self can be just as good if not better. I appreciate I have been extremely lucky not having any long term physical side effects and a lot of you have maybe not be as lucky as me but in the scheme of things we are all very very lucky if we are here reading this forum. Thanks again to everyone here and i hope my story helps just one person feel more optomistic All the best Di xxx

Inspiring and honest as ever Blueday You humble me and my whinging over petty problems but you also allow me to accept that everyone is entitled to set their own goals and be excited or dissapointed on the outcome But it is the determination to keep going that you convey so well God bless you mate And god bless all our angels who put up with us and keep us going Di xx

everycredit xx

hi looking forward to reading your story all the best Di

Beautifully put Blueday You speak with such knowledge, experience and humour I too feel that I am not me I was before my SAH but I am prepared to accept the new me could be better Before I was often angry with people who didnt do things quick enough and I was impatient and intolerent Now my pace has slowed and I realise there is no great rush with life and the slower pace gives me time to share moments with people and this is something I am learing to accept and even enjoy I still have times when I cry for the old confident me I used to be but these moments are getting fewer Always lovely reading your viewpoint Blueday - much respect Di xx

Goodto hear all went well Get plenty of rest Saffy Take care Di

Hi Jan I went back to work just about a month ago on phased return I worked 3.5 hrs per day first week, 4.5 next etc and am heading towards full time My employer has been very supportive Since 6th April sick notes from doctors ended and "fit notes" were introduced My fitnote from my doctor said I would be fit to return to work if my employer arranged phased return over a six week period. I took my fit note into work and arranged the hours i would work with my manager and HR See http://www.dwp.gov.uk/fitnote/ for more details about the fitnote Your doctor can put specifics of your illness such as - she needs a quiet area to work in or she would benifit from regular breaks This will give you better bargaining powers with HR See your doctor tomorrow and ask him/her about a fitnote saying what you feel would be appropriate then ring work and arrange a meeting hope this helps By the way I am really enjoying being back at work but do find doing a lot of complex calculations tire me easily But mixing with colleagues has really put things back into context take care Di xx

Hi Leon lovely to hear from you Google is wonderful how it directs us to sites like this I think all neuro wards should recommend this site in their pamphlets they hand out to patients That way we would be able to get support as soon as possible Hope you enjoy reading all the stuff on here like I do I am off to see consultant friday to get result from my first MRA scan and hope i will be told there is nothing to be found and to just "crack on" with my life. Hope he will then Ok me to drive again so I can reclaim my shopping trips instead of draggng hubby round with me Take care Di xx

Thanks for that Just got my insurance via Columbus for single trip 2 wks Europe for me and partner, who has diabetes The cost was £62 for Gold cover - higher values and less excess I think I felt confident I had declared all medical facts so don't think they will try to wriggle out of paying should we need to claim The Sainsburys quote was £87 as there was a £50+ added on for my SAH It really helped that people on here had already researched/used insurance to save me having to trawl through all the options This is just another advantage of this great friendly group Looking forward to booking my ferry to France now for my friends wedding. Di :-D:-D:-D xx

Hi saffy as we haven't heard from you I hope you have got your bed and you have already been treated Let us all know how you got on when you feel up to it thinking about you Di

Will be thinking about you tonight saffy and hoping you get the bed tomorrow when you ring them Hoping you get some sleep tonight night night Di

Hi Saffy keep calm and stay positive The neuro dept at Preston will do their best for you I was there in February after my SAH and they are a very busy dept as they take admissions from all over Lancashire and the lakes too There is every possibility that there has been an emergency and they have had to delay a few admissions When I was ready for discharge there was a lady next to me who had come in for coiling whose slot was taken by an emergency admission. She had to wait til the following day before she was seen I know it is very frustrating when you are worrying so much but the neuro dept would not put you at risk intentionally so will treat you as soon as possible But if somebody arrives at the hospital already bleeding then unfortunately the people who are awaiting admission have to be delayed You are being very brave stopping smoking through this stressful time so just keep strong- I believe that there is every possibility that the delay caused to you may have actually saved somebody elses life Wishing you all the best Di xx

Hi Sally good to read your story The more people share their experiences the better informed we all are take care and look after yourself

Hi Everyone I am having a day at the PC so have already posted twice today but have just realised it would be polite if I introduced myself My name is Di and i am a 52 year young married women who lives with her husband. My 28 year old daughter has left home and lives nearby with her boyfriend I had my SAH on Thursday morning 7.55am 11th February 2010 I was walking the 3.5 miles to work at the time, briskly I might add, to get fit and lose weight. The "thunderclap" hewadache hit me like I had been shot in the head and almost floored me but the fear of embarrassment of being found on the floor kept me on my feet til I got to work and was sick I waited 5 days before going to hospital but stayed there 9 nights as they did various tests I have read lots of histories on here so feel I am one of the lucky ones as there has been no known cause identified but I also think this makes it very difficult to come to terms with as i cannot say I have been treated and all is well I returned to work on reduced hours after 9 weeks and am coping though I am not up to speed by any stretch of the imagination. I tire quickly as most of us here do and I get clumsy when tired. I also am over emotional and can get angry or tearful very easily. My husbands has been a rock through this and has had to take on lots of extra duties around and about the house and I am still not cleared for driving. My daughter has also been very upset by the shock of this but I hope it will not prey on her mind too much as we move forward through recovery together. I didnt get told much at all whilst in hospital or if I did i didn't pay attention so I have been hungry for answers since I came home. all your stories and comments, worries and encouragement, tears and traumas have helped me cope with this life changing episode Thank you all Thank you to all our friends and family who support us and thank you to the medical profession who gave us another shot at living Speak to you again Di xxxxx

Hi All I had my SAH on 1th February 2010 whilst walking to work. It was a very cold morning at -5 degrees and I was walking to get fit and slim for a wedding where I will be a bridesmaid. I am 52 years old and have a stressful job, especially during february/march as it is finance related. I had the typical thunderclap headache which almost floored me and was then left with vomitting, stiff neck and photosensitivity. I only went to hospital 5 days after it happened as I thought it must be a migraine though I have never had a migraine or even suffered with headaches before CT, CTA and angiogram all showed nothing though lumbar puncture and symptoms confirmed SAH I had MRA on easter saturday but do not see consultant until 21 May for results so life is in limbo waiting for explanations and hopefully all clear then I can kick on with my life again I went back to work, only reduced hours, two weeks ago and feel quite well generally I am more tired than before the SAH and definately more emotional, crying very easily. I have clumsy moments and tend to drop things when tired. Also more jumpy than before so the "flight" part of fight or flight seems more accentuated. Must be a self preservation thing I feel extremely lucky to have got through this but I also feel a bit of a fraud I look the same, in fact probably better due to weight loss, than before and so everyone seems to think there is nothing wrong and they appear to wonder why I have been off work two months. Or is that just me feeling guilty??? Anyway it is wonderful to read other peoples experiences and it is so helpful and encouraging Thank you all Di xxx

Hi All I had my SAH in February 2010 and I am still awaiting results of the MRA I had on easter saturday though to date all scans have shown no cause for the bleed. I have returned to work on reduced hours and am coping well though still tire easily I am physically fit and have been very lucky to have no apparent physical problems but I just feel an emotional wreck!! I was always a "strong" person who had a great deal of control over her day to day decisions. I would wake early, work hard all day and still have energy left. I spent all weekend helping friends with their horses and returned to work refreshed However since my SAH I have been stripped of my independance and this lack of control is emotionally draining. I have not yet received clearance to drive so rely on my husband to ferry me to work, shops etc I doubt my decisions, as people have remarked on before, so look to other people to back me up. Because of this I find it very very difficult to stand up for my own point of view. If anyone disagrees with anything I say I find I just cry like a child. I don't have the resilience to explain why I find myself unable to justify my choices and I just cry!!! I don't think it is depression I have because I don't feel sad but I feel very very vulnerable I am sure I am getting stronger emotionally every day, especially now I am back at work and interacting with people more. It is a very isolating experience having an episode such as SAH and the feelings of fear, guilt, worry, inadequacy, vulnerabilty, dependancy are all so alien to the me before the SAH that I accept tears are an appropriate reaction. It is almost like grief but grieving for the part of you that you feel has gone - hopefully only temporarily. I hope this made some sort of sense :confused: I consider myself very lucky to have got through this and hope I will ultimately be stronger than ever Thanks to everyone who has ever messaged on this wonderful site as I would not have been able to get through this without all the kind words and knowledge xxxxx