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About Swishy

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    Established Member
  • Birthday 06/11/1952

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    Boston USA

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  1. Macca... your words are so inspiring "sudden change foisted upon you, in a surprise attack that damaged you, but didn't finish you off... Carolyn amazing words from Macca, I am 3 years 4 months from my SAH and Vasospasm. What I wrote above from Macca is exactly how I felt, i was surprised (shocked) but it didn't finish me off. Carolyn you are still in the early days of this, I know you know that. I had no patience for the slow movement of my recovery and pushed hard to do some things that made me feel in control. I had this visual in my head thinking I wanted to see it in the rear view mirror...haha, I don't know why but that seemed to make sense to me. It has moved over to perhaps my side view mirror but it is not standing in front of me anymore. I will talk a bit about the fatigue, I simply must surrender to this on occasion. I find if I continue to push I start feeling a bit out of control of everything...I have made it a priority, sometimes I just need to sit down for half an hour, sometimes I need more. Dealing with it mentally has also been a slow process for me but I continue to learn to be good with myself. I did go for some mental health therapy and it was helpful...A good session of visualization makes me feel content inside...I practice at home now... I wish you the best Carolyn, please come and post whenever you need to or want to, we all share something here xx Jean
  2. Congratulations Andrea on 5 years...I can imagine the feeling of seeing yourself in a hospital bed 5 years ago...I send you my best wishes for another 5 and many more healthy and happy years...Be well.. xx Jean
  3. Swishy


    Hi Vicky, I am also so happy you found this site, it proved to be very helpful for me. Vicky I am so very sorry what happened to you, you are smart seeking counseling. Vicky I had my SAH 3 years ago which was followed by severe vasospasm...I had returned home from my SAH and a day later my vasospasm episode occurred...when it did I was alone, I was able to call for help on the phone but then remember nothing...things were scattered about my house and my family told me about what I was saying and doing at the hospital (all of which I remember nothing)...it was very hard for me to accept all of it, some of it seemed not like me at all. I kept asking questions after it happened and my family keep asking me questions...it was difficult and I did seek counseling, but I waited 2 years, with the feeling PTSD was affecting me...I wish I had gone sooner. This site has been so helpful to me as so many of us have experienced not your exact situation but each of us has had many things happen to us. Time has been my biggest friend...you are still not far away from your event...time is so helpful. Be very patient and kind to yourself and try and see that your loved ones really don't understand. They would learn tons if they come to this site. I wish you well as you continue to recover. xx Jean
  4. Hi Pat, Your post was very interesting to me as I also sought out mental health care feeling like I had PTSD...In rehab I was interviewed by a psychologist at length...I was so far from understanding my mental stress about what had happened, as I was overwhelmed about my physical problems. I guess I passed, as I never heard another word about any sort of mental health therapy. It was literally probably a year or so before I began to understand that it is not normal to lie in bed at night and feel like I was back in the ICU...but anyway I did get therapy and it helped, and so has time 3 years 3 months for me... Tomorrow is another day we just have to patient and allow it to be ok... This is a great community and I, too, am so glad to have found them. Keeping hydrated does help me also.. xx Jean
  5. Hi Kyle, Welcome to BTG...so happpy you found this site...I felt so thankful to find them after my own SAH and vasospasm...You sound like you are making good progress, you are still in the early days of recovery...I know this is unlike any other illness I have had, thinking that when you have some good days you are getting past it...I have found it to be slow...steady, but slow... Sometimes I see the best progress when I look back...I too had a small SAH and a severe vasospasm. The vasospasm was the worst of my event, sending me back to the hospital, intensive care and rehab....for weeks I thought I had another SAH...everything took time to sort out for me...I am 3 years 2 months post and much better, improvement each year and I am a good deal older than you, 64 when I had mine... Kyle, your story struck me with your feeling isolated when you had your event...so very frightening, so happy your family was there when you got to the top of the stairs... The Covid situation is making it all so much harder for everyone entering the hospital. I work at a hospital, retiring soon, and it makes us so sad our patients can't have their loved ones with them.. We have loosed it a bit but it is still no where near what it was as we welcomed family members... My thoughts and prayers to you and yours as you continue ... xx Jean
  6. Hi Rebekah, I am so sorry to read about your mom...you are such a good daughter trying to reach out and understand what has happened...This is a wonderful support site. I too had a SAH and it is so scary, my daughter and sons didn't know what it was and it was just waiting and praying for them. As I improved and they were able to communicate with the doctors they understood it better. My heartfelt prayers are with you and your mom.... xx Jean
  7. Hi Majella, Welcome to BTG and I can tell you I was so happy to have found this site also...As I read each of those who responded before me I am reminded this is a wonderful site giving positive support and encouragement.. I was 64 when I had my SAH followed by vasospasm. I also had no cause identified. I just hit 3 years in May, each year feeling more like myself. Time has been the key for me...and my brain won't be hurried as much as I wished it would have. Be gentle with yourself, rest when you feel the need, keep hydrated and please know you have support here... xx Jean
  8. Hi Michelle, Congratulations on 6 years. I love that you have a special trip planned, feels good to have something wonderful to look forward to. Take care xx Jean Oh...I had to look up where Lanzarote was,,,gee I need to travel more...looks beautiful
  9. Hi Rajdeep, Hello and welcome...so happy you found this site...I found the wonderful people here to be so thoughtful and helpful as I was healing... You have been through so much and being away from home must be unsettling. I understand you feeling sad and depressed. I do not have a shunt so I can not offer any information on that. I wanted to answer you post to let you know, there will be brighter days ahead with your little ones and your husband. It takes time to heal a brain. Take care and keep us posted. I hope you get home soon. xx Jean I think your English is wonderful
  10. Hi Paola, Welcome to BTG...I am so happy you found us. I remember how happy I was to find a place with people who understand. I am so sorry reading about what happened to you. I understand your concern about a re-bleed. I worried about it a lot when I had my SAH and Vasospasm. Although the doctors seemed so sure telling me it is not likely to happen again....I have found time has helped lessen my fear. I found the further I went from my event the better I felt and I worried less. I just passed 3 years, don't get me wrong, I am not totally worry free...but I am so much better. You have made remarkable progress in 9 months. 85% wow that is so good... I send you good wishes as you continue your recovery. xx Jean
  11. Dear Sarah, My deepest sympathy on your loss...Your mom was a source of smiles and comfort to so many here on this site. I could imagine her singing, and it would make me smile...I am so very sad to read this news...Although we have never met, I live in the USA....somehow some way we connected, she made my burden a little less... I hope as you read all these words above about her you can find a tiny bit of comfort in knowing she was so loved. I wish you and your family peace at this difficult time, not being able to be with her must be so difficult... Hugs to you and yours Sarah. xx Jean
  12. Hi Doonhamer Congratulations on one year...The one year mark was such a great/sad day for me...Great as I had survived one year, sad as I had expected all to be "normal" by then...It is a slow recovery road our brains are on and you have done so much in one year, remarkable. This thing the world is going through right now is impacting everything, our jobs, our lives and for sure how we view our recoveries as we attempt to get back to our old lives...Sounds to me like you are working so hard to recover, remember to be kind to yourself and patient...something we often do for others but can forget to do for ourselves... You are the first person I have seen who mentioned HRT med...I also stopped taking it during my event and had no real problem for about 6 months and then....symptoms returned, not as severely as they had been but still not comfortable...became better after sometime, after 3 years from my event symptoms are much better.... Take care.... xx Jean
  13. Hi, I am a day early with this post, due to work. April 25, 2017 was the day that I had my SAH...it was something I never saw coming...It was a small SAH as I read my medical records but it felt like someone hit me with a bat in the head. I spend 3 days at Mass General in Boston...I was in good shape when I was discharged, some pain in head but nothing else. Moving on to the morning of April 29th....In the shower, home alone I had a severe vasospasm...noticed hands losing sensation and feet also, I was able to call emergency (put on some clothes I don't remember anything till later that evening, when I was told I was in ICU, at Mass General. For 4 days I drifted in and out. So a week in intensive care, intraarterially delivered verapamil...tests...on and on..I was off to rehab as I couldn't sit up and balance was all off...Rehab was very helpful, although my ability to do things like use my cell phone, math anything that required multiple steps was a challenge, that would stay with me to some degree. Whew...so today...I am happy to be able to write this...so very happy...I am back to my job although have cut hours. I still do struggle with things that take multiple steps but notes help me and if it is something I do over and over, I get it...My sitting issue is long gone and my balance is pretty good left more with a feeling of being on a boat...hence the screen name Swishy What I will add is this...at year one I was still living this everyday, like a backpack that went everywhere with me, a heavy backpack....At year two, I was disappointed the backpack was still there, not as heavy but with me none the less.....As I write this 3 years out I have made huge progress this year in leaving that backpack home. I am so much better, mentally at year 3. It makes me realize recovery continues. I am not young 64 at my SAH, so now 67 but yet I am moving forward. This site has been therapy for me, thank everyone of you for your answers and enlightenment. xx Jean
  14. Hi Brenda, So happy you found this site...I know when I found it for the first time I felt like I had found my people, people who understood my journey. Brenda, my husband and I have talked at length about what happened to me, nearly 3 years ago, and also what happened to him. I am sure he would agree he felt like the ground was moving....I didn't realize how it was impacting him until I had improved a bit myself. Having an injury to your brain is not like any illness I have ever experienced. It felt like it interrupted all my efforts to resume my old life. I couldn't figure out how to use my cell phone, couldn't remember if I had talked to someone that day or two days ago...everything felt a bit like a scrambled egg... And there stood my husband, love of my life, trying to understand it all, visiting me everyday and when I came home trying to get me to all appointments and make sure I didn't fall or forget my pills...I am sad to say it took me a while to feel his pain going through this... It is a slow process, the brain healing, and as said above something that is not measured in days or even weeks...more something that you look back on and think..oh yes he/she has gotten better since then...our brains are amazing though and will work hard to heal... I wish you both well , you are lucky to have each other... Jean
  15. Hi Matt, We are all here as we have a common thread running through our lives SAH....each of our stories are different...but please please do not feel like a fraud, not here...we have you....I am so happy you reached out to us...I hope you see as you read our stories that each of us is battling our own fight...but here on BTG we come to vent, cry, laugh and share as we celebrate that we are survivors... Welcome to BTG... Jean
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