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About Swishy

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    Established Member
  • Birthday 06/11/1952

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    Boston USA

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  1. Hi Paola, Welcome to BTG...I am so happy you found us. I remember how happy I was to find a place with people who understand. I am so sorry reading about what happened to you. I understand your concern about a re-bleed. I worried about it a lot when I had my SAH and Vasospasm. Although the doctors seemed so sure telling me it is not likely to happen again....I have found time has helped lessen my fear. I found the further I went from my event the better I felt and I worried less. I just passed 3 years, don't get me wrong, I am not totally worry free...but I am so much better. You have made remarkable progress in 9 months. 85% wow that is so good... I send you good wishes as you continue your recovery. xx Jean
  2. Dear Sarah, My deepest sympathy on your loss...Your mom was a source of smiles and comfort to so many here on this site. I could imagine her singing, and it would make me smile...I am so very sad to read this news...Although we have never met, I live in the USA....somehow some way we connected, she made my burden a little less... I hope as you read all these words above about her you can find a tiny bit of comfort in knowing she was so loved. I wish you and your family peace at this difficult time, not being able to be with her must be so difficult... Hugs to you and yours Sarah. xx Jean
  3. Hi Doonhamer Congratulations on one year...The one year mark was such a great/sad day for me...Great as I had survived one year, sad as I had expected all to be "normal" by then...It is a slow recovery road our brains are on and you have done so much in one year, remarkable. This thing the world is going through right now is impacting everything, our jobs, our lives and for sure how we view our recoveries as we attempt to get back to our old lives...Sounds to me like you are working so hard to recover, remember to be kind to yourself and patient...something we often do for others but can forget to do for ourselves... You are the first person I have seen who mentioned HRT med...I also stopped taking it during my event and had no real problem for about 6 months and then....symptoms returned, not as severely as they had been but still not comfortable...became better after sometime, after 3 years from my event symptoms are much better.... Take care.... xx Jean
  4. Hi, I am a day early with this post, due to work. April 25, 2017 was the day that I had my SAH...it was something I never saw coming...It was a small SAH as I read my medical records but it felt like someone hit me with a bat in the head. I spend 3 days at Mass General in Boston...I was in good shape when I was discharged, some pain in head but nothing else. Moving on to the morning of April 29th....In the shower, home alone I had a severe vasospasm...noticed hands losing sensation and feet also, I was able to call emergency (put on some clothes I don't remember anything till later that evening, when I was told I was in ICU, at Mass General. For 4 days I drifted in and out. So a week in intensive care, intraarterially delivered verapamil...tests...on and on..I was off to rehab as I couldn't sit up and balance was all off...Rehab was very helpful, although my ability to do things like use my cell phone, math anything that required multiple steps was a challenge, that would stay with me to some degree. Whew...so today...I am happy to be able to write this...so very happy...I am back to my job although have cut hours. I still do struggle with things that take multiple steps but notes help me and if it is something I do over and over, I get it...My sitting issue is long gone and my balance is pretty good left more with a feeling of being on a boat...hence the screen name Swishy What I will add is this...at year one I was still living this everyday, like a backpack that went everywhere with me, a heavy backpack....At year two, I was disappointed the backpack was still there, not as heavy but with me none the less.....As I write this 3 years out I have made huge progress this year in leaving that backpack home. I am so much better, mentally at year 3. It makes me realize recovery continues. I am not young 64 at my SAH, so now 67 but yet I am moving forward. This site has been therapy for me, thank everyone of you for your answers and enlightenment. xx Jean
  5. Hi Brenda, So happy you found this site...I know when I found it for the first time I felt like I had found my people, people who understood my journey. Brenda, my husband and I have talked at length about what happened to me, nearly 3 years ago, and also what happened to him. I am sure he would agree he felt like the ground was moving....I didn't realize how it was impacting him until I had improved a bit myself. Having an injury to your brain is not like any illness I have ever experienced. It felt like it interrupted all my efforts to resume my old life. I couldn't figure out how to use my cell phone, couldn't remember if I had talked to someone that day or two days ago...everything felt a bit like a scrambled egg... And there stood my husband, love of my life, trying to understand it all, visiting me everyday and when I came home trying to get me to all appointments and make sure I didn't fall or forget my pills...I am sad to say it took me a while to feel his pain going through this... It is a slow process, the brain healing, and as said above something that is not measured in days or even weeks...more something that you look back on and think..oh yes he/she has gotten better since then...our brains are amazing though and will work hard to heal... I wish you both well , you are lucky to have each other... Jean
  6. Hi Matt, We are all here as we have a common thread running through our lives SAH....each of our stories are different...but please please do not feel like a fraud, not here...we have you....I am so happy you reached out to us...I hope you see as you read our stories that each of us is battling our own fight...but here on BTG we come to vent, cry, laugh and share as we celebrate that we are survivors... Welcome to BTG... Jean
  7. Congratulations on 3 years...You had good fortune to get through a NH snow storm and be able to get to Boston...Sounds like you are enjoying your life...excellent...Sorry the headaches persist... Wishing you good health and lots chocolate pie Jean
  8. Hi Daff.. I am late also but wanted to let you know how much your words touched me...You had such a rough time and yet have found the survivor strength that pushes us forward. My best wishes as you continue on your path...please know today your words are packed with hope and insight...thank you xx Jean
  9. Hi Sallios, Yes yes yes...over and over and over...when I was in bed at night I could actually feel like I was back in intensive care....I went for therapy for it...it did help me....just talking about it...I think my family and friends have heard it all so I try to not talk about it... but it is with me all the time like a back pack...I have found meditation (visualizing pleasant things) to be more helpful then I would have ever given it credit for...breathing again, I thought it was daffy, but gave it a try and yes it is helpful... Time...oh yes time has been helpful to me...coming up on 3 years in May...it is not as clear as it was...but my symptoms don't help they keep it present to a large degree...I feel I am ever so slowly embracing my new self and what it changes in my life... I am better than I was...but still it is with me everyday...would like it to take a vacation haha.... My best wishes for peace... xx Jean
  10. Hello and another welcome to BTG....so many of us here, each with a unique story. I am sorry to read about what happened to you. It is such a shock to have such an experience, my own SAH began with a thunderclap headache out of nowhere. I also had a vasospasm 3 days later which took a big toll on me. My SAH happened 2 years 8 months ago. I still feel I am improving. My event happened when I was 64 . Lots of great people here....glad you found us.. Jean
  11. Hi Sallios, Very good thoughts from all those writing before me...To repeat Macca 6 months is still very early... I think what happened to me was thinking some how this brain injury was going to be like a bad flu....in other words felt horrid but with in a few weeks maybe a month I would be back in the pink...but our brains heal and reroute and it takes time as many here will tell you. I often see that I am still healing when I think back to last Christmas or last summer and realize that hey I was better this year...I will hit my 3 year mark end of April...and yes I continue to improve and I in my 60's so perhaps it is even slower for me (I don't know)... Try and have faith that time will make a difference in two different ways...your brain is working to regain and restore everything it can and time also helps accept the things that become part of the new us... I still have a constant feeling of walking on a boat...my hands don't work well with each other making me drop things .... but my head is clearer.... and I now anticipate dropping things with my right hand choosing my left hand more often. Have faith realize those who move things out of our way are trying to recover as much as we are....There lives were turned upside down just as ours were... I did go for some counseling and it was helpful working on breathing through stress and positive thinking....I slip, haha trust me I slip but I am still improving as I said...We are survivors and some days those words feel empty, I know, but each day is a gift...and again we are survivors... My best wishes for better days, Jean
  12. Hi Budd, So glad you found this site...it is so helpful to actually communicate with people who know what we are talking about... I also get twinges of pain in my head (not terrible) pains I did not have before my SAH...I like you had no aneurysm, no cause found...also had a vasospasm which I thought was another SAH until I had a clearer head and could understand what had happened.... I am 2 years 8 months out.... I think I have less random head pains but I still have them...I am of course aware of them but they really have stopped causing me worry...Time is a huge factor here... My best wishes for your continued recovery.. Jean
  13. Hi Mandie I too have suffered with some depression...about 2 years out...I am 2 years 8 months out at this point and feeling better (not perfect but better) after finding a therapist....It made a big difference for me..As Skippy said you have done the hardest part surviving... Just as you would call the doctor for any ailment...pick up the phone and do it...it was hard for me to admit it as I was in deep into a fighting to keep myself above water but ... I needed to ... I wish you well.. xxJean
  14. Hi Liz, Thank you for your thoughts on what I wrote....I had my vasospasm 3 days after my original SAH which was small....I had been sent home from the hospital (MASS General) after 3 nights with no mention of Vasospasm but told if I got a bad headache to return.... Headache was an understatement to what happened to me...I was in the shower and felt pain creeping up the back of my head (I was alone) then my hands and feet didn't feel right when I rubbed them together....I jumped out of the shower and was able to throw on a nightgown, call 911 and open my front door.. I don't remember anything for about 10 hours...they went into my groin (much like a cardiac cath and up into my head) they put verapamil 30 mg into 3 spots trying to stop the vasospasm which they rated as severe... I don't remember much for several days but slowly I recovered...a week in ICU and 2 weeks in rehab...I have some mild cognitive problems and loss of core strength causing balance issues especially when I am tired............ They do not know what caused my SAH...they searched...they said cause unknown...I continue to get better or perhaps I am getting use to how I feel (swishy)....I am older than you Liz,I was 64 when this happened to me.. I am so sorry this happened to you at your age and raising children...it must be so very difficult.... I will tell you that even after 2 years 8 months I feel I continue to improve (so slowly, I only notice when I look back)...I have done some therapy working on breathing to try and keep moving when I really want to stop what I am doing... I work on trying not to rush (I always did) I try to be patient with myself, and I remind myself if it doesn't get done today it will get done eventually haha I use to say tomorrow.... Please let us know how you are doing...so many of us here....xx Jean
  15. My SAH was 2 years 8 months ago...I also had severe vasospasm 3 days later...I was followed for 1 year and then asked if I felt like I needed to see them again....I was trying my best to be the best I could and said no I am good...I do regret it...would have liked to be seen again...oh yes was only given an MRI on my way home from the hospital after rehab...I am in the USA so perhaps our methods of follow up are different...
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