lisac

Hi everyone, Three months ago, I had a laproscopic hysterectomy (leaving the ovaries). Surgery and recovery went well, except I can not seem to get my energy back to what it was before the surgery. I'm a runner and was cleared to start running 4 weeks after surgery. It has been 2 months of hitting walls while trying to exercise. Also, depression has come back with a vengeance - similar to what it was the year after my SAH and neurosurgery (4 years ago). I feel like I'm plummeting downhill fast. My surgeon checked my iron and thyroid - both are normal. I'm wondering if anyone else has had an unrelated surgery years after their stroke and had an unusually difficult time recovering. Perhaps our damaged brains take longer to heal from the trauma of surgery, even years later?? Of course, doctors are of very little help with this issue, so I thought I'd ask all of you. Thanks.

It has been almost 2 years since my SAH and I still haven't come to terms with the new me. I'm not dramatically different, but it seems like parts of my personality have become exaggerated from what they were before. I have a hard time finding anything positive about the changes. For me, the emotional and personal changes have been the most challenging thing to deal with. I don't understand the changes or what they mean which makes it frustrating for me and those around me. If you can't tell, I'm having a not-so-good day.

I would say my husband, my family, me and running is what kept me going. I know running sounds weird, but I was determined to get back to my pre-aneurysm level of fitness. I started running about 3 months after I got home from the hospital. It made me feel "normal" and hopeful. I remember the excitement and pride I felt when I finally ran a mile without stopping. It has now been almost 2 years since my SAH and I've run 2 half marathons and numerous 10Ks in that time. I don't know where I'd be if I didn't have that drive pushing me.

Hi Everyone, I'm about 18 months post annie. Memory seems to be my biggest cognitive issue. I have some short term memory loss, but the strangest thing is how I often don't remember or recognize familiar objects. It started last winter went I went skiing and took the wrong skis. I had bought new skis the year before, but passed them up in the garage because they didn't look familiar to me. Turns out the bindings were different and they wouldn't fit my boots. I finally figured out what I had done when a fellow skier pointed out the bindings didn't match the boots. Since then, things like this happen frequently. It seems to happen mostly with personal objects - like watches, shoes, clothing, etc and building or houses. I'll ask my spouse, "was that house always there?" In fact, it seems to be happening more often lately. I'm hoping that doesn't mean something is wrong. I also notice that when I'm under stress or duress, my memory gets very sketchy. We recently lost our beloved chihuahua. My husband said I kept asking the vet the same question every minute or so. I couldn't remember asking her or if I did, I couldn't remember what she said. The few weeks after this, i had quite a few episodes with not recognizing things. Does anyone else experience this? Thanks, Lisa

Hi Wem, your post really resonates with me. I'm about 18 months out also and thought I was past the worst of all the fatigue, brain fog, depression, etc. Boy, was I wrong! My husband and I went on a two week vacation in June to France. We spent 6 days of that cycling in Provence with a tour group. I consider myself in pretty good shape - I recently ran a half marathon and cycle pretty regularly so I thought I'd be ok. A few days after getting home everything hit me. I think it was like brain overload - the time change, not enough sleep, the physical exertion, the socializing, the stimulation of everything being new in a different country, etc. We've been home for over a month now and I'm STILL trying to get myself back to some sort of normal. I swear I spent hours just staring at the wall because my brain didn't want to work those first few weeks back. I don't fully understand why this happened - it has been a year and a half. Can I expect this to happen for the rest of my life everytime I challenge myself in some way? I was able to be kind to myself the first few weeks knowing I'd been through a lot of change, but it's getting depressing now. Anyway, I hope you come out of the fatigue and fog faster than I am.

I was clipped. Didn't have any problems post surgery - a text book SAH I was told. My surgeon said I could come back in 5 years for an angiogram if I wanted to. He said some people want to do it for peace of mind, but that it rarely shows anything. I think I'll pass.

Hi Doodles, Thank you! It took awhile to get feeling and looking better. Please feel free to msg me if you want to talk more about it. I know the scalp stuff can be rough and scary. After 1 1/2 years, I still get twinges of fear. I was running the other day in warm weather and my scalp tightened up and started giving me weird sensations. Freaked me out because I hadn't felt that feeling all winter. Once I remind myself, it's just my scalp and not my brain, I'm ok.

Hi Doodles, I had a craniotomy about 1 1/2 ago for a SAH. The eyebrow/frozen face is absolutely normal. It will get worse before it gets better. They cut through nerves and muscles and some will die which might cause muscle atrophy which for me caused a slight dip on the outside of my eye. I also noticed that for a long time one eyebrow was higher than the other. That leveled out with time after the skin that was pulled up and stapled relaxed. For me, the constant changes and feelings in the scalp were scary after I got home from the hospital. Luckily, I found this site too and asked a lot of questions. I was also released with no instructions other than to contact them if the incision site looks red or infected. You might notice that as the weather warms up, your scalp will feel tight and that eyebrow will feel like it's being pulled up. Just remember it's normal and it will get better. Please keep asking questions if you're concerned. Also, the jaw pain is normal. As someone said, they cut the muscle and it will take some time to heal. For me, it's back to normal.

Hi Michelle, I had an EMG after my aneurysm. I developed frozen shoulders - a side effect of brain surgery. I had an EMG to determine if the issue was neurological. I found the test to be unpleasant. Many of the needles were uncomfortable, especially those in the neck and shoulders. A quick electrical impulse was then shot through some of the needles. I'm sure a lot of the experience depends upon the doctor doing the test and where the needles are inserted.

- exaggerated emotions and depression - fatigue - anxiety - tight scalp (around incision from surgery) - cognitive issues worse than usual I'm surprised that I was the only one who mentioned exaggerated emotions and depression. When I'm stressed, my emotions get so out of whack.

Rachel, So sorry to hear about your mom. I hope everyone's stories will help ease your mind. Before going unconscious, I had pressure in my head - not really painful, just pressure. I was in the ER about an hour before I went unconscious. I just remember looking at the clock, having double vision then I went out. No pain at any time.

This time last year, I had no clue what a subarachnoid hemorrhage was! I'm almost at my first year annie-versary - January 29th. It's been a long challenging year filled with crazy depression and lots of ups and downs. Physically, I'd say I'm about 90%. Not 100% because I still feel exhausted for a day or two after if I over-do it. Also, the incision in my scalp continues to feel tight most days and pulls across my forehead like a tension headache. Definitely things I can deal with though. Mentally, I'm feeling so much better after getting my hormones straightened out. The stress to my body from the SAH caused them to go a little haywire. I'd say I'm about a 90% there too. All in all pretty good (for now). Ask me in a month and it may be different!

Hi David, This may sound odd, but have you had your hormone levels checked since your SAH? I felt depressed, hopeless, emotionless and lack of well being for almost a year. Anti-d's didn't work. I even saw a neuropsychiatrist in Chicago. I ended up seeing a endocrinologist to have my hormone levels checked. My hubby is a family practice dr. and knew that sometimes our hormones get messed up with brain surgery or strokes. Sure enough... my body wasn't producing any DHEA which is the most abundant hormone in the body. It's converted to estrogen and testosterone. Within two weeks after taking dhea supplements my mood changed dramatically. I feel like my old self now. Energy levels are great too. It's just another thing the doctors don't tell us. According to studies online, 40% of people who have SAHs have pituitary/hormone problems afterward. You might want to check into it, it's just a blood test and could make you feel much better.

Hi Wem, I live in a remote area and was air lifted to a teaching hospital 500 miles from away for surgery when my bleed was found. I had a craniotomy and had to fly home 2 weeks after surgery. I didn't have any problems. I actually fell asleep before take off and slept through the whole thing! I hope you have a wonderful vacation - enjoy life.

Hi Donna, This might be a long shot, but have you been to an endocrinologist to have your hormone levels checked? I've recently learned that many SAH patients have pituitary and endocrine glands issues afterward. Hormones help regulate your blood pressure and low blood pressure can cause the symptoms your having. In my case, I had severe depression, fatigue, weight gain, etc. and through hormone testing discovered my adrenal glands weren't producing DHEA which is an important hormone. Within 2 weeks after taking a supplement, I had a complete turn around of my symptoms. Just a thought - might be something worth looking into.

Hi Bill, Glad that you're back and thank you for your post. I can certainly relate to everything you said. I feel very similar, but only with certain types of people. It's like I have a radar for disingenuous people. Does your therapist have any insight as to why you are feeling this way? It's difficult because it makes me feel like a bad person to be so judgmental of others. I wasn't like that pre-sah.

Well said Mary! Maybe it's because we realize that life can be taken away from us at any time (and almost was) and we don't have time for unreal shallow people who add nothing to our lives.

Hi Everyone, I'm wondering if what I'm feeling is something common to our medical situation or if it's just me. I'm 7 months post clipping and for the past 3 months or so, I've developed a huge intolerance to people lying, embellishing stories and just not being "real" or genuine. I have to really bite my tongue in some conversations. This is creating somewhat of an issue between my husband and I because I'm having a difficult time socializing with some people. They come across as so disingenuous that it's all I can focus on. It seems so loud and obvious to me. Prior to the aneurysm, I was around the same people and I was aware of some of these things, but it didn't bother me like it does now. I talked to my therapist about this and she believes it's sort of an epiphany some have after a life threatening experience. We become more genuine about who we are and have difficulty being around those who aren't. Curious what you all think. Lisa

Hi everyone, Thank you all for the responses. Looks like I'm not alone! An update... I went to see my family practice dr. today. He doesn't think the migraine auras are anything to worry about. He said my brain isn't the same as it was pre-aneurysm - it has been damaged by the blood and it's not unusual for migraines to happen. He didn't think any tests were necessary unless the auras get more frequent and intense. Then he suggests an MRA (MRI with dye). I guess it's just another thing we have to learn to deal with.

Hi, I was wondering if anyone else is experiencing the migraine aura (visual zigzags and bright spots that lose vision, etc.), but not getting a migraine after. I would get these maybe twice a year before my clipping surgery. After the aura disappeared, I would feel relatively normal. Post aneurysm I'm getting them once or twice a month and I feel drained and nauseated after which usually lasts the rest of the day. I'm guessing this must be related to what happened. Does anyone know if there is a link between aneurysms or a craniotomy and migraine auras with the headache? I'm also wondering if it's something I should see a neurologist for. I can't image there's much that can be done for it. Just another fun side effect I'm guessing. I recently read a book written by a neurosurgeon and he says when the air hits your brain it's never the same. Looks like that's true.

Hi David, You're timing with this thread is perfect. I've been so frustrated lately with this issue. About two weeks ago, I ran my first race post SAH. It was 5 miles and I beat my time from 2 years ago. I was feeling so good and thought I had "beat" this aneurysm thing. Then the fatigue and muscle weakness hit and hasn't left. I tried mountain biking tonight and had little energy and no strength in my legs. I had to quit after about a half an hour - it was miserable. I just can't seem to shake the fatigue and it has been over 2 weeks since the race. I've been resting, sleeping a lot, etc., but it's not doing the trick. This has happened many times before also. Like you, I rack my brain trying to figure out if there was something I did or didn't do that brought on the good and bad days. It's so frustrating because we don't always know what brings it on makes it go away. It's been 6 months for me and I'm having a hard time rolling with the punches. I want to "fix" it somehow.

It was the middle of winter here in Michigan. I had just come home from a really good run outside and was eating lunch when friends called to ask if my hubby and I wanted to go cross country skiing. About five minutes into the trail, I started getting tremendous pressure in my head and couldn't move my neck or shoulders. I then got a bad headache and fell to the ground. My friends and hubby got me to the car and the ER. What a surreal day it was!

Hi Kris, I know exactly what you're saying. I remember coming home from the hospital and knowing that I could have died - just slipped away and it wouldn't have been scary at all (I went unconscious shortly after the aneurysm burst). I remember being scared of death before all of this and now, it seemed like no big deal. I thought the same way... what's the purpose of going through the hassle of living if death isn't a big scary thing. Death lost it's power of being the motivating factor of trying to live a certain life. Shortly after, I read a really interesting book, called Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer, to Near Death, to True Healing. This woman had a near death experience that has been well documented. She learned from her experience and came back to life with a whole new outlook. She realized she was living her life based on fear (fear of illness, divorce, religion, etc.) and didn't love herself. After the NDE, she totally changed herself and her reason for living. It's a very powerful book and helped me put things in perspective. You might enjoy it too. I got it from amazon (Kindle version).

Hi Stephanie, welcome to btg. Everyone here is so friendly, supportive and understanding of the issues most of us go through. What an ordeal you and your family have been through. How strong you must be to pull through all of that and recover as well as you did! The mood swings, depression, not feeling like you, are all normal - if you look through past posts, you'll see lots of comments about it. You've been through a traumatic life threatening event and you need time to heal and adjust to the new you. I'm about 4 months post sah too and am also going through all the emotions. I've found a therapist to be very helpful in teaching me how to deal with it all. Anyway, I'm glad you found this site. I hope it will be a source of support and comfort for you. Take care. Lisa

Hi, I'm still struggling, but a therapist has been a great help for me. About a month ago, I was feeling better emotionally for about 10 days and thought I was "cured" and didn't need her anymore. Within a few days, the depression and misery came back. I tried dealing with it on my own for awhile, but ended up calling and making another appt. She has experience with stroke patients and seems to understand a lot of what's going on with me. She helps me put things in perspective and is able to make me understand why I'm feeling the way I do. For me, there are a lot of confusing emotions (anger, jealousy, sadness, etc.) at certain people and situations that I can't figure out on my own. Having someone tell me, "I hear that all the time from stroke patients" makes me feel better and somewhat "normal." When you've gone through a major life threatening illness, lost a part of yourself, have physical difficuties and suffer from depression and mood swings, ya just need someone impartial to talk to and sort things out! Of course, I also find btg a huge source of information and comfort. When you've gone through a life changing event, there's nothing more theraputic than communicating with others who've gone through the same thing.