Anya

Well you held a very graceful and poised course - I am in awe of how you didn't waver, lose composure or indeed crack up!!

Magnifeco!!! Courageous, eloquent, determination - What class!

My mother had a 'Pride' motorised scooter - 3 wheeler - easily dismantled and put in the back of the car. She puts us in mind of the actress in the series 'Benidorm!'. I would advise a four wheeler because its more stable, especially when going down a dropped curb. Simply Health, formerly known as HSA have retail shops specialising in mobility products so there might be one local to you. Hope you find this useful! Happy Birthday by the way!!

Can anyone shine some light on this? I don’t want to end up in casualty locked in my ‘downward facing dog’ position! Hahahahaha (excuse the accentuated laughter!) O'h Lynne! It's a great idea!! I returned to a class doing yoga, pilattes and tai chi within three months. It improved my balance, co-ordination and was uplifting and relaxing. It was called a Mind, Body, Spirit workout, but sadly the centre closed, otherwise I would definitely have continued with it! You have to research which form of yoga as I believe certain types are too strenuous - I think a friend suggested Hatha yoga was good, and indeed, you've reminded me that I need to join a class again too! I would absolutely recommend it though!! Anya x

I'm sure this sounds like a panic attack, which is what my sister suffered. She experienced tingling in arms/legs, hyperventilating, nausea and dizziness. Basically, because your 'fight and flight' are in such a state of high alert, you are breathing oxygen too quickly. Therefore, find a small PAPER bag, scrunch this up a little, then hold it to your mouth, breathing in and out (thru your mouth) at slow regular intervals. This will increase your carbon dioxide which in turn calms you down. I do hope this will help as I know how distressing these episodes are. In the morning see your gp, who will probably give you something to help calm you down. You say you are taking pain killers for your headaches, but this seems to be worsening them as well. I know I was taking codeine too much in the beginning which seemed to worsen mine, so could you get by on paracetamol? Otherwise ask your gp for an alternative. & try and get plenty of rest.

Yes, thats common enough from some siblings! My elder brother thought I was all fixed & better when I left hospital & since has never assumed otherwise; never asked either! My sisters use humour and refer to my faux pas or tiredness, as must be my "haemorrhoids playing up"!! Mind you I always laugh along with this too!! O'h thanks Jen for that report which I will be popping in to the surgery later!

Hi Happydawn, Yes I've heard this is the case. Are you no longer now taking medication for b/p, whereas you were soon after your event? What changes were made to enable your b/p to revert to a normal reading? Was it dietary or through exercise? I am very interested to know this!! Anya

Momo, that's good research and here's hoping doctors will understand and be better aware of the implications involved in recovery! Shame we can't get our hands on the results, but I'm sure they will become available online soon!!

When I visited the gp some months pre sah, she thought my BP should be monitored as it was raised, but I buried my head in the sand on this, believing it would go away & stepped up the exercise. I remember going to see her about a crippling pain in my neck (two weeks earlier) which caused me to lie on the floor it felt so bad. In retrospect, think this was a sentinel bleed, but wasn’t picked up. On my discharge day, the gp phoned my home she was so anxious to apologise. I’m kept on a small dose of cozaar, but it does have a tendency to creep up even on this. The last time it was measured it seemed to be behaving. In my case, there is a hereditary link. I can’t remember where I heard it, but if you’ve suffered pre-eclampsia in pregnancy (I did) you have a tendency in the future to develop hypertension. BP’s also affected by cholesterol so have tests for this too. Last month it was thought sensible to start me back on statins, which reluctantly I’ve resumed. I think on the whole sah patients are only prescribed pills if they present with high blood pressure but it isn’t standard otherwise to prescribe them.

So glad you’ve joined us!! Reading this morning’s post reminded me of my early recovery days. Where is it you had your bleed exactly? Mine was mid brain and there are strong similarities between our cases; all sensors blitzed, acute photophobia and sensitive hearing. Couldn’t sit in a car without feeling sick, disorientated and dizzy and craved silence so stayed protected @ home - never ventured near busy shops for ages. It took my brain some time to familiarise itself to normal sounds and sensations again. Noise still irritates to a point, although I was at a children’s party yesterday with screaming singing girls and didn’t jump or flinch an eyelid, so think I'm cured of that now! Glad you're out and about on your bike and with the dog. I found it important to keep up socialising - this is your life line! I set myself little goals to reach each new day; e.g. meeting a friend at a busy café and tolerating the noise and light just a little more each time. Sometimes I had to walk out then and there, otherwise stick cotton wool in my ears. I know you’re probably doing your best with this already! Strangely my short fuse seems to have been extinguished now my brain has healed. Before there were loads of fireworks happening!! “I lost my brakes when it comes to eating” what a vivid expression. Love your sense of humour too!! Anya x

Hi Lynne I am also inspired by your determination and motivation to make good from your illness – what a champ!!! Sounds to me like you’re carving a new career as a specialist in disability law. Met a friend for coffee today, a lawyer, who'd previously worked in clinical negligence. She was severely affected with encephalitis (ten years ago) and hasn’t been able to work. I mentioned you and hopefully she’s going to look in to volunteering @ the CAB too! Looking forward to hearing further updates on the workings of the Shaw Trust; always very useful knowing someone on the inside – Good Luck!! Anya xx

Hi Vicky, so as to clear up any misunderstanding when I say Buzby has the best smelling nostrils, I mean it be in terms of smelling them – mixture of hay and good breath!! He's a ginger ray of sunshine - a ginger macging and gets bullied a lot by the others!!! Have you tried sitting on your horse again? Don’t resume in the spring when the new grass comes; otherwise you’ll be entering competitions for bucking bronko!!! My friend’s daughter suffered a head injury (car accident) in August & had a bleed. She’s still spaced out but rides all the same. Any chance that you could try it sooner rather than later? Are there others around to ride with you? I am sure you would feel a million dollars for trying!!!

Hi Vicky Hope you’ve had a good day at the yard, as we did too!! With the present sunshine we must get out and exercise whilst we can!! My dog is a golden ray of sunshine, always kisses on the hand (she’s often eating you know what in the fields!) The horse, called Buz, is a chestnut gelding of 15 years and has the best smelling nostrils!! We went on a longish hack over the fields this afternoon in the beautiful glorious sunshine; Pops was riding and I fast trudging behind. All tired out so it’s an early night!!!

Well done Vicky for finding us!! I hope you are healing well!! Now I love animals – dogs, cat, guineas and horse!! My daughter has her own horse and comes back from Uni to ride most weekends. I swear he knew something about my sah as the first thing he did was nuzzle up to my head and stood there very calmly, as if taking it all in and sending out the healing vibes!! Animals heal us, don’t you think?!! I hope you keep with the riding along with the dog walks as this is the speediest road to recovery – just being outdoors and exercise!! Anya x

When I read the heading for this I felt angry as it brought it all back, i.e.,the events leading up to. Too many people squeezing too much out of me! I am going to make sure I enrol for meditation and yoga this year to help keep a calmer inner balance. Anyone care to join me? Kempse, what page is your story on?

My sah was preceded by acute emotional stress. There were four major events happening; work stress, mother & daughter stress and finally one that made me blow a fuse! A young man, a close friend who suffered bi-polar, was having a manic turn and let it be known he was off to kill himself. I spent hours after midnight searching the woods for him, only to find him unconscious but alive. Suffice to say, I will never jeopardise my own health again!! Too much stress is bad for the brain!! I am still annoyed with myself for not taking better self-care in this event!!!

Anna, I don’t know what to say other than you are being held in thought and prayer. Be with your mother and say all the words you want to say to and for her to hear. Don’t forget the chapel and the chaplains – they will bring such a comfort and can come up to the ward. Make sure you’re all close and supportive. You are very much in my thoughts. Love Anya xx

O’h Anna, I’m so sorry you have to go through this hell – you’re constantly in my thoughts, as is your Mum and your family. Try not to be alarmed and put off by all the paraphernalia – tubes and wires. Hold her hand, stroke her and talk calmly if you can – she can hear your words. It’s good that you’re off loading on here as we understand and can support you. Have you got good friends who are standing by and supporting? & what about your extended family, are they looking after you? Lesley Folkes is the specialist nursing sister at Southampton and I hope she’s looking out for you! The chapel at the hospital is a good place to visit as the chaplains are especially lovely, especially Karen, so seek her out. She’s only on during the day but there are others who will give you great comfort and support. Hold in there! Stay in touch! You are in my thoughts. Big big Hug, lots of love, Anya xxx

Hey Anna, It's very scarey but try to stay calm. If she's at Southampton Wessex Neuro, they are a wonderful bunch of doctors and nurses. I know Southampton General really well (I work here!) so I know that the Wessex Neuro is the finest in the South! If you'de like to pm me then please do!!! Anya xx

Dear Anna, This is a harrowing time for you and family and you are in my thoughts. I was treated at the Wessex Neuro, Southampton, as I expect your Mum is being, so rest assured, she is in safe hands and being given the most excellent care. It is very difficult to remain calm and strong but this you must be, with the support and care of your close friends as well. University is a long way off, so please don’t worry about this for now. Please stay in touch to let us know how you are coping and how your mother is. Love, Anya xx

Hi Sandi Yes, I think the depression struck me around this time. My brain haemorrhage mirrored a bereavement; I mourned the me and the fact I couldn't be perfect anymore!! I also think it was shock catching up, the brain chemicals going awry, the money worries; and major uncertainties about the future!! Nothing short of cataclysmic!! I was persuaded by my very kind gp to take a short course of antidepressants - citalopram - which radically helped stabilise and boost my mood, giving me energy!! Looking back they helped enormously! I absolutely love that Leonard Cohen song - I think it should become our anthem! Anya x

O’h Lynne that’s hilarious but true! I would never be so brave!!! But I did see one of the last Harry Potter movies with daughter; cameras whizzing and stooping at great speed through shops and streets – felt I was attached to the front of the camera, which I guess was the desired effect, but was a real tummy lurching rollercoaster!! One tv advert that really gives an ill-effect still is Aygo Toyota, with the big bouncing mercury balls; even the distorted sound effect makes me feel decidedly sick!!I do sometimes take ear plugs to cinemas that are loud, otherwise I will sit with my fingers stuck in my ears throughout!

Bogbrush, you took the words right out of my mouth!! That's the only way to go Nita!! I take 'High Strength Olive Leaf Extract' and echinacea. Every time I feel I'm coming down with something I nip it in the bud with this!!

Congenital or genetic? Mine wasn’t diagnosed as a ruptured aneurysm, more a case of a possible congenital defect…like a “bulge on a tyre” that burst and resealed itself. However, my mother’s mother, whom I didn’t meet, died of a sudden stroke aged 52. Although it wasn't confirmed, my suspicion is, it was a brain haemorrhage. It’s always on my mind to request my daughter’s brain be scanned…not sure if this would be offered unless there’s a definite link found, which from reading these posts would seem to indicate. This prompts me to phone the neuro unit in Southampton to ask. Will keep you posted!

Welcome Kath and well done for contacting us! I too as a trained nurse have seen both sides now. My deeply embarrassing moments (in HDU) were in thinking my consultant was the cleaner and, more hideous, each time I was given a bed bath!! Often apologising profusely and muttering I would do the same for them! I wasn’t a very good patient lets just say. Indeed, again, thank you for reminding us that we are ‘survivors!’ & keep up the good work! Love, Anya x