Feeling Lousy Again

[Angela]

Hi everyone Its been a wee while since i have been on here, and hope yous are all doing fine? I have been busy working away, and getting on with things in general. Probably like a most on this site, having some good days ,and some not so good.

I have just passed my 3rd year anniversary for my 1st anuerysm, and thinking back it only seems like yesterday,since that horrible time in my life.

I was feeling so pleased with myself,that i have been able to get back to normal as humanly possible, i still only manage part time hours at my job.

Thats ok with me, i've been lucky enough to be able to return at all.

The last few weeks for me have been really hard to cope with some days, I am really struggling with dull headpain, tiredness, and feeling really off most of the day. Some days even after a good rest, i still have no energy and even getting up for my work and going in is a real struggle.

A few of my work collegues have made comments to me about being tired and drawn looking.

I wont admit to them that i am struggling at times because i still feel as though, some are looking to see if i am coping with my job, i am but i do get burnt out a lot easier and people who have not went through what we have just dont know what its like.

I feel so deflated the now ,because i was hoping that it would not take this long into recovery, to really start to feel well again

Some days i feel the way i did ,when i first had my bleeds.

I just dont want to be feeling this rotten for the rest of my life, i know its a small price to pay,and i am one of the lucky ones,and i really have no right to moan

I am sorry for the rant folks, does anybody else feel like this , how do yous deal with it?

take care and keep well xx

[Sandi K]

Hi Angela, it hasn't been a year for me yet but I can imagine how discouraging it must feel after 3 years to still be struggling with fatigue and other symptoms. What you are describing sounds similar to my days, are you pushing yourself too hard? That's probably the last thing you want to hear. Quiet and rest seem to be the best fix and if your usual downtime isn't replenishing your fuel tank are you able to take a few days off? I'm sorry this is happening to you. How does one even plan for symptoms to continue for so long?

My hubby dislocated his shoulder on the weekend. It will take 4 months to heal. I guess we shouldnt be so surprised that it takes our brains which are so complex so much longer to heal. But it sure is tough to accept and try to explain to people.

Hugs.

Sandi K. Xo

[sonia]

Hi Angela,

So sorry you are not feeling too good. After what must have seemed you doing so well doing so well. Returning to work. That was just great. That you were able to get back, even if it was part time.

Try not to be so hard on yourself. Try to be happy where you are so far, well done.

I have a few more days till its my Ist Anniversary of my second Annie being done.

Think of all that you have done and what you now have in life, after coming through, what only you and the good folks on here understand. It's really something we have all come through. Only to share here with all these other very special people, who know us better than anyone else could ever know.

Rest. Take time,and of course drink your water. You have plenty to live for. xxx

Take good care of you and your's and do what your body tells you to sometimes

Love smiles and hugs across the miles.

Sonia xxxxx

[jess]

Hi there try to take it one day at a time and relax I still hve good and bad days even now. I went to bed with a bad head and being sick last night got up this morning bad head and feeling sick. It is hard I know but you just need to try an relax. Jess.xxx

[Karen]

Hi Angela,

You're not alone and I had a bit of a scare again a couple of weeks ago alongside some dreadful fatigue. It did knock my confidence and I felt extremely low and fed up.

I'm still on a learning curve with it all, even 6 years on when health issues are still cropping up. I'm not sure how I deal with it, but just try to get things back to normal as quickly as possible, once I'm feeling better, so that I can start to raise my confidence level again.... but yes, the knock backs are hard to deal with, especially when you're a fair few years on. xx

[jess]

They sure are hard to deal with Karen but how I cope is I have to go on I have to be ok my kids need me so I will carry on but Angela we alĺ deal with things differently be strong. Jess.xxx

[goldfish.girl]

Hi Angela,

I've just passed the 3 year mark too. I also got back to work part-time & then cut the hours some more....I was working 3 part time days a week & having to sleep on the 2 I was off. I got comments too that I looked tired & ill from folk at work, like you I would try to pretend it was all fine. I don't know what type of work you do - I was doing admin & unfortunately the parts of my brain that were damaged cause problems which are not suited to being good at admin any more.

I left work 10 months ago (due to being treated really badly by an idiot of a boss, rather than just giving up). Looking back I can see how ill trying to work was making me. The fatigue was awful, I had a constant major headache, would be off balance & dizzy by early afternoon. Now that I have stepped away I can see for myself how unwell I was trying to stay at work. I am not cured because I left, I still have headaches most days, less dizziness though & still have to sleep for a while each afternoon BUT the removal of stress, early morning rushing to get there and not trying to force my brain to do what it no longer can has made a huge difference. I have always worked & am still not sure how I will manage financially long term but I do now understand that I wasn't coping & had no quality of life. I hope that in another year or two I will manage work in a different field but feel I have done the right thing for now. I gave it my best shot, now I want to take the time to heal and see how it goes.

This probably wasn't what you wanted to hear. I know when it was first suggested to me I was horrified & ruled it out completely - a year later I wish i'd listened sooner! Leaving work has helped me but it certainly might not be the option for you.

Best wishes x

[Angela]

thanks to everyone who took the time to reply to my post .its nice to know that there are other people who understand what i am feeling and what i am going through and can relate to what your trying to say. I find trying to explain to people that have not went through what we have on this site, a nightmare at times they look at you with a blank expression on their faces, its not their fault i know that, they just dont know what its like.

I am feeling a bit better still got the fuzzy head feeling, like its like cotton wool. I was sent home from my work yesterday, i managed to stay till bout an hour before i loused, then gave up the ghost. The chargenurse in my ward wanted me to go down to A&E to get checked out , i just wanted to come home and lie down and shut my eyes with the promise that i would get it checked out at another time.

I am more drained and weak more than sore and i know if my head got really sore i would go straight away and get it checked out

I am going to my GP in the morning and i will see what he says.

Goldfish.girl sorry to hear you had to finish up your job due to a **** of a boss, its hard enough going back to work after a sah without some idiot making it harder for you. Did you not have any backing from Occupational Health or a union to help you ?

I work in a hospital ward its a rehab ward ( at times ) for care of the elderly it is a very busy,heavy demanding ward

After being off for 1 yr after my sah/s Management didnt think i could ever go back into the wards again, or even outpatients clinics, they said it would be to heavy and fast paced for me. I took my union rep with me and with and asked them to at least let me try

They wanted to train me up for clerical, but they finally agreed that i could go back to the ward, i had to reduce my hours and now work 4 (6hr shifts)

At times when i come out of the ward i am so tired,and bodys screaming at me to stop. I wonder if i made the right choice, and think possibly at some point that i will have to try and get something a lot lighter

I will keep yous posted on how i get on at the docs, and hopefully tomorrows a better day

Keep well and take care xx