Are you able to move forward ????

[Scoobs]

Well not sure how to start this 1 ?? Right dry eyes first Paul ok here goes

I'm now 14 months on and I'm still havin probs movin on I was discharged 21 jan 2012 since then I've had 1 brain scan and the specialist nurses have asked to see me once that was to put a face to a name

My doctors might as well be students when I go they just say it's amazin what surgeons can do an it's all over there heads an just sign me off for 8 wks at a time I've said it's 14 months but to me it was yesterday I've had no explanation about what I've had done I've got 3 weeks of my life missin an for some reason I'm still tryin to put all this behind me to put it in a box an say move on sorry tears again as I'm writin this. I just wanted to know if anyone else as or is goin thru this anyone that's read my story will know I had probs from when it burst. The thing was I knew I had a aneursym in my head 2 years prior to it burstin I was told I was a lucky patient cos I knew bout it an could control it with blood pressure tablets but it still burst It's as if I need input But not sure if it will help

[Lin-lin]

This is all very familiar to me and I remember how depressed I felt after my SAH. In my case, the depression started around the year mark. Looking back, I handled my early recovery wrong, believing that I had to ‘fight it,’ and ‘beat it.’ Luckily, I commenced counselling and I started approaching things healthier.

A turning point for me was joining Headway. It is there that I receive group counselling under the guidance of a neuro psychologist and the intervention has been invaluable. I still go and hope to be able to attend the next counselling session in a week’s time.

A lot has gone on with you of late, what with the issue concerning your licence and job ending. This is understandably very frustrating for you. On top of this, you are probably not relishing the benefits side of things.

If you can, please attend upon a benefit advisor and don’t try to muddle through yourself. The system is deliberately complicated to put people off claiming. Talk through your situation with a benefits advisor, not the Job Centre. Think about visiting your local CAB.

Depression is a very common symptom after a SAH. I think many of us here have experienced it. Thankfully, it is more of a ‘patch’ than a permanent situation; but many of us have had counselling to see us through it. Ideally, the counsellor needs to be qualified in dealing with brain injuries – us brain injured folk are quite a unique bunch in how we react to things; and I fear that a general counsellor would not grasp our situation.

So, as a starting point; consider contacting some agencies to help you. Think about Headway and ask about counselling services and make an appointment at the local CAB where you can hopefully speak to a benefits specialist.

Good luck with everything and let us know how you get on with things.

xx

[MaryB]

Scoobs,

I started therapy and it took someone to make me make some goals etc to have some changes in my life. That is the one thing I think is huge. Changing my attidude and thought process. Lucky a few here have really helped me with that.

The other thing being in the US you really ARE almost thrown back into life b4 you are ready. But as much as working drains every ounce of my energy I do think something is to be said about using your brain and thoughts for something other than your own care is helpful. Certianly workgin full time is not the answer but I think as some have volunteered has really helped being out in the world a few hours a week. It also prepares you for life back at work someday.

Those are my 2 suggestions that I think may be helpful.

Good Luck, maryb

[Scoobs]

Thanks you 2

think I need pushin more an i need to push my self more I've got tears as I read what u said but that's just me. Ill get there I've got to see a shrink on the 12 of this month hopefully ill be able to move forward xxx

[MaryB]

I did not think I needed a shrink but apparently I did! I pretty much answered all my own questions but the quiteness of the office was wonderful. No refrig or computer hum etc..It was like ZEN in there. I also have done some odd things like I can sort stuff for hours - junk drawers, messy basements etc.I love to organize stuff and I also only watch the same series on TV and pretty much nothng else. He told me it was my mediation so that made me feel better, WISH I could work sorting buttons all day in a quite factory with great benefits and insurance!!!!!

I told myself on JAN 2012 I would spend time at least twice a month with a good friend and her small children, they need me as much as I need them and their mother needs a motherly influence as well. Boy anything I have to do on my own I do not do very well at but if I am accountablet to someone for I do much better. It has been a challenge and my house is like a toddlers nightmare! I sometimes have 6 pairs of sissors laying about, pills on the counter etc,.... but i make a staff place- would be sooooo much easier come summer. Last week we made cookies together.

Simple goals .....but for me with work it takes every brain cell and more so I have to be patience and forgive myself for not doing more in my personal life. I work a day - wiped out a day etc.......... and granted I am on a boat load of drugs to keep this old lady moving. And yes, I get depressed. I would love to be able to go shopping etc on my day off. BUt geezzz the grocery store and cooking are my greatest challenges.

Good Luck Scoobs. Maryb

[Winb143]

Sorry you are down Scoobs,

Now wipe those tears away and make sure your bowels are open, thats my Dad talking there x

Think what makes you happy ? (mine is eating Shh Win) and do it if possible.

Do not let this beat you Scoobs and dont bottle it up, even if ya get a silly reply like mine x

Good Luck Scoobs and lets see a smile? xx

Love

WinB143 xxx xxx

[Daffodil]

Win you give the best and most fun advice.

Scoobs, Definatly don't bottle it up. There's no joy that way. I saw a counsellor for months and wouldn't hesitate to go bak. I've blogged. I've talked. I've shouted. Ive meditated. I've cried and I laughed.( And yes win I also sang and had regulare movements) It all helps heal.

You've had a massive change in your life. Not just the SAH and recovering but the change in work. Loss of driving to me and others is an annoyance, an inconvenience, for you it's a vocation snatched out of your hands by an unseen assailant. So it's ok I think to be mightily annoyed about that.

Sandi and Mary are right though, if you can find some activity that uses your considerable other talents and put yourself out there, people will snap up offers of your help, that I am sure. now your feeling fitter that will help.

Maybe Have a ponder about what jobs associated with your knowledge and experience that you could do. Think laterally. Maybe estimating for delivery jobs with removal firm? I'm just guessing but there will be options.

So big hugs. You helped me when I first came on. It'll be a better day tomorrow.

[Louise]

Hi Scoobs

Yeh been there all seems SO familar it must be a common thing they say 'Your a very lucky person now get on with living your life' - but as we know it aint that easy eh!

Its not easy to move on I have but there are days - weeks when its all there again but it does get easier as time passes by honistly.

NO dont bottle it up get an appt with the Doc and ask for councelling or get intouch with your local Headway they are wonderful.

Yes and CAB too find out about benifits I got signed off for ages then auto just kept going that was ages ago & alls changed...

Take care & start moving forward by either phoning CAB or the Doc or Headway today.....

ps you mentioned college course I went on a course months after the SAH & if I could anyone can....

[kpaggett]

Scoobs,

Man, i could have written that post. I'd like you to consider that you may have PTSD. The word being post TRAMAtic stress disorder. I had it really bad. It was a huge trauma. I had no idea at first that this was what I was experiencing as I never fought in a war...but I did...one for my life. Once I finally identified it, I read up on it and then decided that I should go to a neuropsychologist for it. I'm so glad I did. And one thing about a skilled therapist of any kind...they make you feel like they do nothing...but they really do so much. I first went every week, then I tried two weeks and it was awful, so back to every week, then two again, then 4 then discharge. It was one of the best things I did for my recovery. Admitting that I needed it was the hardest part, then it was so easy.

You can't just 'Get over it' like you can a bad day.

~Kris

[goldfish.girl]

Hi Scoobs,

I haven't been on BTG for a couple of days so missed your post. I hope you are feeling a little better now?

There has already been some good advice on here. I just wanted to add that 'getting over it' or 'getting on with things' took me a very long time too. Much as you want to, you can't help the anger & the tears that hit you over all that has changed in your life since it happened. I also see a neuro psycholgist who has been a huge help in coming to terms with things. Losing your job through ill health just seems like another unfair blow when you are already struggling, it took me time to feel ok about that too.

It sounds like you need to have what happened to you explained more to help you understand. Are you able to contact a neuro nurse to ask or possibly if you are referred to a neuro psychologist they may be able to help you with this.

I think it's fair to say that no matter how much you want to be moving on and adjust to it all, you can't force this to happen. It took a very long time for me but eventually, one day all the things that had changed started to be ok with me. I can't explain how or why it happened, it just did. Funnily enough it was after a lunch out with ex work mates that triggered a change in the way I felt about everything. I stopped being either in a rage or days of tears with things that were different & started to feel a sense of calmness about it all.

Michelle xx