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Hello from Alison in Devon, U.K.


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I have read some of the stories here of what many people have gone through and the strength they have had to continue. I am so grateful to have found this site and community with help, support and friends.

My name is Alison and I live in Devon. On the 20th December I bombed up the motorway some 350 miles to the hospital where my sister had been rushed with terminal cancer. We were all told to get there asap to say our goodbyes. It was a month from her diagnosis. She was in A&E. I made it within plenty of time but didn't get to say goodbye at the end because I then had an sah. I thought it might have been because of the shock/stress? I was taken from that hospital to Addenbrookes in Cambridge where they did a CT and Angiogram but havent found anything. I have an appointment with the consultant in a week's time.

I probably realise that I have two things to come to terms with. My sister's death and my sah. I am returning to work tomorrow part time. Mostly because I can't bear to be on my own and think about things but also because I need things to be normal again. I cry very easily now and am pretty emotional. My head hurts and I feel sick sometimes if I do too much. I have had my partner with me since it happened and tomorrow he is going away for a week with work. I am dreading being on my own. I don't want to tell him how scared I am of being alone. Still, perhaps it is confidence I need which I may well get going back to work.

I smoked right up to the day this happened, so I havent smoked since then (the memory of not being able to walk or talk is toooooo scary!), I used to drink quite a lot socially but have only had a couple of drinks since the sah and it just doesn't taste the same!!

So, this is me saying hello.


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Hi Alison. I am so sad to hear about your sister. The shock of that and then your SAH must be really hard. There's a good thread somewhere that talks about the stages after an SAH as being very similar to grieving so it's probably a double whammy for you right now. So very sorry for your loss.

The tears I think are good and healing , don't hold them back but drink plenty of water to compensate and rest as much as you can.

Being fearful to be on your own isn't all that unusual post SAH . I had friends and family stay every day ( I called them my babysitters ) for quite a while after I came home which I needed to help with day to day stuff but actually just knowing someone was in was helpful to me and comforting. I think tell hubby and maybe ask for a few more phone calls?

A few things. Get in touch with your local headway , they are great at providing some practical support, maybe you could Visit them whilst hubby is away. Have you Local friends who could help and keep you company. They will like to be asked. Say, 'can you come round and make some lunch for us and then I might have a nap bug it would be lovely if you could' .

It's really early. On the work front do what is right for you, there's no easy answer but don't be too surprised if it all feels a bit odd and hard. Baby steps.

Ask anything. People here will try and help.

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Hi Alison so sorry to hear about your sister and your sah. It will be hard as you are not only getting over the sah but also the loss of a loved one.

Glad you found us and hope you continue to recover look forward to chatting soon. Jess.xxx

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Hi Alison,

My heart goes out you and your family. A very traumatic time. Grieving and healing at the same time is difficult. Have your cries for your sister and yourself. It helps.

As for you, you had a bleed but they could not find the source? Me too. Please keep us updated on your progress.

God Bless.


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Hi Allison so sorry to hear of your tragic loss, and your SAH? I also had a bleed for no reason, except I was chasing sheep! Just because you only had a bleed, please don't expect too much from yourself. I am now 18mths on, I expected to be back to normal ages ago but it just is not like that!

Try to get as much help and support as you can, while it is still in your family and friends memory, I find when it is 18mths on, There is not so much sympathy especially when one states that you can'nt do things as one is so tired. Do drink lots of water and keep off the drink, I find a one glass of a little white wine filled up with tonic is ok, but red wine a big No no. Good luck, be kind to your self, it does get better, it would help if it would just stop raining. Love jill

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Hi Alison a very warm welcome to BTG....so very sorry for the loss of your Sister xx

A devastating time for you as well as coping with an SAH.

Glad you found us.

Take care & good luck xx

Edited by Tina
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