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New member -Rachel


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Hi All


My name is Rachel, i learnt about this site from a friend who i had the pleasure of meeting  on another website. He has also had a stroke and runs a support group.


It's  5 weeks tomorrow since i had my stroke, a clot, it's called left lacunar infarct - a term i will not forget in a hurry!


The day i had my stroke was just as normal as any other. I was in work sat at my desk 3 o'clock in the afternoon. I'd been perfectly fine all day, no build up or anything. I went to the printer, sat back at my desk suddenly realised my mouse wouldn't move. I thought someone had played a practical joke and stuck it to my desk. I couldn't grip or hold the mouse or a pen or even my mobile phone. Lifted my arm to stretch and it felt heavy. Got up and went to the toilet. I walked with a limp and the floor felt very uneven like i was walking on waves.


I mentioned to a colleague when i came back that i didn't feel well and felt heavy, he looked at me like i'd lost the plot. I actually sat for an hour til it was time to leave, outwardly kept my cool.

Fortunately i wasn't driving that day but got a lift from another colleague who i didn't tell either and he's not the most intuitive of people. As soon as my fiance saw me before we even spoke he knew something was wrong. As he eloquently put it i walked like Frankenstein's monster! I went to pieces and told him everything and he took me straight to hospital.


I've been a first aider in the past and didn't have a clue what was wrong with me, i felt so stupid. Even when they told me i'd had a stroke i was in denial because other than my arm and leg feeling like they didn't belong i felt otherwise perfectly ok.


My mobility is virtually 98% recovered and my stamina is improving but i have never experienced anything quite like the fatigue ever before. I also have some cognitive/memory issues, short term memory is poor, lose words mid sentence that kind of thing. Can't seem to cope with noise. On the surface until the fatigue hits i look fine, but there's a lot going on underneath, so to speak.


Despite what's happened i feel so incredibly lucky that it wasn't worse and a heart defect has been picked up that i never knew about which i need further investigation for.


I have met some pretty incredible people on this journey. After being with my fiance for many, many years we've finally decided to get married; this has given us a harsh reality check. I now know just how much i took for granted. Even simple things like walking up steps which is now a bit of an issue for me. I also realise that i really need to slow down and not be on the go all the time.


The man i mentioned at the beginning of this post has released a talent in me that i never had before. I read some of his poetry on the website where i met him. Something just snapped inside me and i started writing a poem and have now written 7 poems. Whereas before i couldn't make two lines rhyme let alone a whole poem!


I know this is a life changing experience, being on a life time of medication for a start but it's had such a profound effect of me. It's like i'm seeing and appreciating  life through someone else's eyes.


Thankyou all for reading and allowing me to share this with you and i hope to get to know some of you a little better. x

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Welcome to BTG Rachel you will find lots of info and support here. Sounds like you have had a rough time and are lucky with your fiancé.

You are still early days and hopefully you will regain what you have lost. Just take things slowly. I am still suffering fatigue and headaches 4 months post my NASAH but am slowly returning to work.

If its poetry you are good at then hopefully Subzero will join this thread as he is an avid poet!

We have all experienced a lifetime event - life is short - enjoy it!

Clare xx

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Hi Rachel,


Welcome to BTG xx

It makes you appreciate life more doesn't it.  Well it did me and when I found this site via my daughter it was a Godsend x


It's early days yet and you will get there, also my surgeon told me No Stress, so laugh when possible xx


Go to bed with a happy thought like you are going to marry the man you love xx

Wake up with happy thoughts, like you are alive !! Good feeling isn't it. 


I remember my daughter held my arm and said "Welcome back Mum" I cried and she cried, now we argue like normal.


You take care and be well xx you have a wedding to plan !! 


Love to you and hubby to be xx


WinB143 xx xx   xx

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Hi Clare


Many thanks for your reply. It has been a confusing and scary time, as i'm sure it will have been for everyone else on here, whether they be the sufferer or carer. My main concern is now about the future and how to get back to normal. To try and ensure i don't have another stroke, without wrapping myself up in cotton wool.


As for the poetry, it might not seem unusual that someone has started to write poetry. However i am a keen card maker and over the past 5 years i've made between 550 - 600 cards. Not one verse has ever come from me, because i couldn't make 2 lines rhyme let alone a whole poem.

They have either come off the internet or i had help from my brother. Which is why it's all the more surprising that this has happened. I have felt a strange sense of calmness since starting to write the poems, i don't know if it makes sense to anyone.
Anyway thanks once again for replying x
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Hi Win


Thankyou very much for the welcome and yes it certainly does make you appreciate things more. I did say to my fiance though that i didn't know the stroke would end up costing me so much money, meaning the wedding! I think our family and friends are as shocked by that as they are about the stroke. We've been together so many years it became a joke that we'd never set the date.


bye for now x

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Speak soon and if you want a rant or rave about anything this is the place.


I came on here thinking I was on my last legs and I left crying with laughter.


Laughter is the best medicine and also keep away from doom and gloomers conversations.  You know the ones who tell you sad stories about themselves, it sounds selfish but you need to look after YOU xx  lol I winked at the computer screen.

I've lost it again.


Be Well Rachel xx


Love Win (Again) !! xx 

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Hi Rachel,


So glad you have found this site you have come to the right place for info and support.


It was 1 year on the 8th June since I had my SAH I also had a stroke in December thankfully

there were no lasting effects from that, I also have short term memory problems and words also

get stuck.


Give yourself time,your brain has suffered a trauma and that takes time to heal,

lots of rest and plenty of water is what I`ve been doing, I find the water helps a lot.


Congratulations on your impending wedding, when something like this happens

it does make you value what you have got, I have been with my partner for 15 years

he has been my rock would not be able to cope without him.


As for the poetry you go for it Rachel, I loved writing poems before my bleed

unfortunately I can no longer do it, my brain just doesn't want to know and I

end up with a headache.


Subzero is a wonderful poet, he often writes about the crowd on here.


This site is brilliant, friendly and everyone is very welcoming,


I wish you well on your recovery journey both you and your partner


Love Michelle x

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Rachel I forgot to say if you have a bad day the person who will cheer you up most is Win, 

She really is a wonderful person.


She loves to sing, she will always bring a smile to a sad face,


We all love her very much, her songs are brilliant.


Take care

Michelle x 

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Hi Michelle


Many thanks for replying.


15yrs (for us too) next week is how long i've known my fiance, it's a long time isn't it? but yet the years have gone by in a flash.


As for the poetry it hit me out of the blue like having the stroke. The words just fell onto the page and still do....very bizarre. As for the card making, i haven't had any interest in it at all since the stroke which again is bizarre given how many i've made over the past 5 years.


Thankyou for the advice and also the tip about the water....i'll go and pour myself a glass now. :-)


Nice talking to you x

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Hi Raechel warm welcome to the site, glad you found us.


I remember smelling the cut grass for the first time it was amazing.


congrats on your engagement.


Hope you find the site helpful.


take care

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