need help! (please)

[Guest chelseagirl2]

Hi there

Ive only just joined and I feel as though my world has opened up a little bit, had my SAH over a year ago and thought I was fine but have just been diagnosed with post traumatis stress, local councilling service say they cant help as it is a specific type of event, they recommended headway but says on the site that they dont offer councilling, where can I get help as am really struggling and its affecting my life and my family.

[Janet]

Hi Kirsty

A very warm welcome to BTG. I can't help with the counselling as I haven't needed to be referred. I know Sami had some counselling for P.T.S so she may be able to offer you some advice and there may be other members who have had counselling.

Hope that you find a solution soon and look forward to hearing more from you.

Janet x

[Vivien]

Sorry to hear that you are struggling, I am nearly a year from my SAH and lately my mood has got very low. I phoned Headway and they seem very helpful, so maybe worth a try

[Karen]

Hi Kirsty,

It's definetly worth contacting the Headway organisation. I think that a lot of us have probably suffered something similar to PTS. Anxiety is pretty common after a SAH too ..... I'm on Beta Blockers that help. I've also had depression and still dealing with it ..... it's something that I won't say that I'm over, but life is much easier. What type of feelings are you experiencing? I'm nearly 3 years on and there's not one day that passes where the SAH doesn't come into my thoughts......it just gets easier to deal with as time passes and doesn't dominate my day quite so much....even so, I would still say that I have hurdles to get over .....

I would imagine that if you asked most of the members on here, they would say similar ...... many of us, don't admit to having mental health problems as we feel that we should be able to cope.....at the end of the day, we know that we're lucky to have survived......but, a SAH leaves us feeling pretty vulnerable.....

It's good to talk and you may even find that just sharing what you're going through at the minute on the MB's, may help to "normalise" things a little.....xx ....

[Guest chelseagirl2]

Wow, was just a little freaked out that I was talking about this stuff and someone could hear me, thanks for your words of encoragement.

Basically I thought I was fine and since the one year annivesary Ive suddenly began to get anxious all the time, short tempered, shouting, cant sleep at night but desperatly want to sleep in the day. I havnt been to work for over a week and I dont know when I can go back, my body aches and I just dont want to go out anymore. I feel as though people are saying "well shes been fine for months why she bringing that up again". And I cant talk to my family because theyve all told me how horrific it was for them and I dont want to upset them. I just dont know what emotions are right anymore

Anyone with any clue as to what I do!

xk

[jess]

Hi there I would go to see your doctor or go back to where you received your treatment tell them you need help, and we are always here too however we are not councellors, Good luck and welcome to BTG

[Karen]

Kirsty, if you are having anxiety attacks, then your GP should be able to help you.... medication can be prescribed to help. I sat on my anxiety attacks for a long time and I left it until quite late to speak to the Doc about them. What you're experiencing at the minute, is very similar to my own experiences ...... sometimes, there doesn't seem to be any rhyme nor reason, why these periods of anxiety kick off. Often, I can go to bed feeling fine and wake up feeling anxious, for no apparent reason......I'm not quite sure what's happening within my brain, whether it's the damage caused by the SAH, who knows ..... nobody has been able to give me an answer.

You need to be kind to yourself and remember how ill you've been, as even 1 year post SAH is still very early days in the terms of recovery ..... I still go through periods of rubbish sleep, but on the whole, my sleep pattern has improved. If your anxiety is stopping you from going out of the house (which isn't uncommon), then you need to go back to your GP and be totally honest with him and tell him that you need help. My GP tested me for anxiety and depression ......your GP should be able to do the same ...I also had severe depression and I think that the anxiety problem was the catalyst for the depression and I wish that I had tackled things earlier. I haven't had any counselling, but I found that talking on the message boards and telling my husband that I was depressed etc., helped ease the load and over the months, things began to be easier to deal with. None of us should feel inadequate that we're suffering from anxiety or depression.....it can happen to anybody and that's without having a brain injury! .....

[andyp]

Hi-I can relate to what you are experiencing as I had problems 10-12 months after the bleed.

I am not sure if it was triggered by being told by the neuroconsultant how bad things had been but I was awaking at night with panic attacks and my sleep was very poor.

The GP said he half expected it as I had not shown any real sign of shock or depression much earlier on.

I did have some mild anti-depressants ,although to be honest I am not sure if they did a huge amount.

I had a lot of issues which bothered me and it took quite some time for things to get back to "normal".

I actually went for some private counselling and saw a cognitive behaviour specialist before this ..to help me get back to work at 3 months then a more conventonal counsellor about a year later.

I realise now that a lot of this was most definitely a post traumatic stress issue.

Only you know how you truly feel -but I would talk to my GP first about it.

Talking with like minded people does help because you realise that you are not unusual and that there is a light at the end of the tunnel.

The tunnel can at times be a horrible place to be.

Can you go to a local SAH help group??

I found some books helpful but it is a process of coming to terms with what happened to you.

Best wishes

Andy P

[Guest chelseagirl2]

thanks everyone for your support, i can only describe it in this way. Most things that you experience, good, bad, medical, non medical, you generally meet someone that has had it. Im not being direspectful to people who have serious illness, its just that I had this thing happened to me over a year ago and Ive never met or spoken to someone who has experienced this thing, I think thats why I opened up like I did. I can only describe it as if I was a bottle of fizz that had been shaken up and finding this website it was like the lid was opened and it all came shooting out. Im so grateful to everyone on this page and my intro page, I dont feel like an alien anymore so Im already a whole lot better than I was when I first logged on.

I thankyou with all my heart

xxxxk

[jess]

Well I am really pleased that we were able to help I felt that I needed councelling once didn't get any help, the drs referred me it was just the councellor took too long to gety in touch good job I weren't suicidal LOL. Anyhow when she eventually got in touch I said it's over I don't need you or antidepressants I have done it, I went on this online course epp online it was only 6 wks but it was great, I also come on here and different sites and all my online friends helped me through it possibly without even realizing it. Jess.xxx

[Slim]

hi there

I'm glad u r starting to feel happier about things.

I think its agood idea to get intouch with headway I would also ask your g.p recounselling. if u get nowhere I would write to original organisation stating u still need help u r unable to access counselling and you would be grateful if they could explain why why your needs don't meet there referral critera.

I would leave this as a last resort as I feel it can be a drain on your energy. l've not been to headyway but good feedback on this site

you take each day as it comes, people can be insensitive but I suppose how could they understand.

I prescribe that your loved ones spoil u rotten.

have a fantabulous day

Aine x

[Guest chelseagirl2]

hi guys

such special words that mean a lot to me, sadley when I tried to share them with my husband he just complained that Id been ignoring him!

What do ya think!

Am I being unreasonable at being offended by that

let me know cause i dont trust my emotions anymore

lol

xxxk

[tennissmithy]

I have been on such a rollercoaster since my SAH 19 months ago, I asked for counselling a few months ago as was finding it very difficult to even go to the shop (even though I had been back to work full time but then gone off sick again) My doctor was pretty non committal and said that I should just get out more! Easier said than done!!

Without my husband I would still be in that position. With his support I started going out again and yesterday started back at work work part time. He has been a constant support even though it must have been really ifficult for him to come to terms with as well. The last 19 months have been a whirlwind for him too.

Maybe your hubby was just having an off day, mine would love me to ignore him for a bit, I'm constantly asking him to stop with me and never want him to go out on his own. Maybe try again and explain he you felt and now how you feel, having spoken to people in the same boat. Maybe he feels a bit pushed out because you have found this site. Would he be interested in joining or reading the posts to get a feel for himself. Thats what my Simon does, when I come on he catches up too!

Sorry I can't help more

Take care

Laura

xx

[Karen]

Hi Kirsty,

I found that it helped my Husband to be more understanding, after we met up with other SAH'ers.....he then realised that it wasn't just me experiencing the emotional problems and I then found it easier to talk to him etc. Do you have a local SAH support group? Have you ever read the Jane Lapotaire book, Time out of Mind or Women's experiences of haemorrhagic strokes, written by Sharon Dale Stone? ..... both of these books helped me to deal with my depression, as I realised that my thoughts weren't abnormal and in fact quite common and normal .....I also asked Eric to read one of them and that it might help him to understand more ...... it did help. I know of other SAH'ers that have used these books and asked their partner or relative to read them, if they were struggling to understand.

[Skippy]

Hey there

It is hard for family to understand how we're feeling and I felt tremendously guilty that I'd put my family through it all. I suffered terrible anxiety attacks to the point where I felt like i was going mad and trapped in a deep dark pit with no way out at all. I went to the Doctor and luckily or GPs has an inhouse counsillor who I was referred to straight away. I had fortnightly sessions with him and found it easier to open up to someone who wasn't affected by what I'd gone through. He was amazing - he got my personality spot on and guided me through my feelings and emotions. When we decided after four or five sessions that I was OK now he told me that the minute I walked in the door he knew I was a survivor and that I'd be fine. I still had bad days but found it easier to deal with.

Your emotions are fragile things and having an SAH and basically facing your own mortality is not something everyone can say that have experienced - it will have a profound effect on you. It's perfectly natural to be scared - even now 20 months on I've had a bad head for a couple of days and that's not normal for me now - so I've been scared and anxious - it is natural. As for your husband saying that you're ignoring him - like I said it's hard for them to understand - luckily my hubby was brill and like Karen said, had more of an understanding after meeting some of the other guys on here.

Never be afraid to voice your feelings on here hun - its what we're all here for.

Take care

Sami xxxx

[Anne Fleming]

Hi

I'm glad you found the site. I'm not quite sure what post traumatic stress is and how it differs from feeling anxious or depressed but I think it's normal to feel very shaken up mentally after a SAH. For about 5 or 6 weeks after my SAH and coiling(Nov 2007) I was definitely on a high as I felt so fortunate to be alive and everyone was telling me how lucky I was and it was a miracle etc.

Since the initial high wore off, I've been finding coping with post SAH and the ongoing symptoms very draining. A couple of months ago I started taking antidepressants which my GP suggested (this was due to my despair over distorted taste as all food tasted like sewage) and they have helped - not in that I feel superficially happy but they have definitely given me that extra edge to cope with things. I've also had cognitive behavioural therapy at the rehab hospital I go to which I've found very good and helps me keep things in proportion a bit more.

Maybe as a starting point, you could organise a double appointment with your GP to give you time to chat about how you are feeling and look at the options. I think there will be professional help out there if you can tap in to it. You've done really well to cope for so long on your own post SAH and I really hope you get the help you need to get over this period. Look forward to hearing how you get on.

Best wishes

Anne x

[Guest chelseagirl2]

hello again

Well i just thought I let you all know that Ive taken the step and contacted Headway at Hustwood Park (where I was treated, I sent an email cause I couldnt face talking to someone on the phone, and I recieved an email back saying that they HAD PASSED ON MY DETAILS TO THE COMMUNITY SUPPORT NURSE WHO WOULD BE CONTACTING ME SOON. Big sigh of relief that Ive made a step forward. I have also changed my job, I live on a holiday park, my husband is the park warden, and for the past 5 months I have been working in reception which has been great but recently I have found it hard going, all sorts of resons but the main one being so tired in the day. I think Ive become a vampire cause I just cant sleep at night, so I spoke to the park manager and he has let me move into the bar and restaurant so I can work at night and if need be I can seep in the day. Not that thats possible at the mo with the kids being off school. Dont think I told you all I have a son called Jacob thats 12 and a daughter called Lily who is 5, and about to loose her 1st tooth!!!

thanks again

kirsty

Ps Very happy that Chelsea qualified for the semi finals, cant believe weve got liverpool again !!!!!!

Pss how do we get the smiles to go onto our post

[Guest chelseagirl2]

ok just a litttle freaked as there are a load of smiles at the end of my post, how did they get there?

xk

[Guest Debs18]

Hi Chelsea Girl,

Headway can refer you to Momentum who offer counselling services. I'm waiting myself for counselling which I pushed to get from my practice nurse who referred me to the stroke clinic at my local hospital and from this she has`arranged a psychologist to help me with my problems hope this is of help Debs 18

[Karen]

Kirsty, really sorry, but for some reason I seem to have missed your post saying that you had contacted Headway ..... how did it go and did you manage to get some help?

[paulg]

Hello i totally understand what you are going through!i have been recently been told i have moderate depression,after a recent long stay in hospital with stroke complications and pneumonia,(had my 3rd stroke in boxing day 2005).Talking about it is a good way of self help ,i also see a psychologist who has been a great help plus some medication, but most of all you are not alone,getting professional help is difficult ,but is worthwhile.take care paulg

[Guest yasmin]

Hi Kirsty

And welcome, this is one big family and all your questions,fears and worries can be shared with us

I too had(still have) post traumatic stress my SAH was one month before yours it took a year for me to get help I too tried headway but without joy, my GP was very good he put me on a CBT workshop, I know see things in a much more positive light. I still have anxiety attacks but they are far less frequent and the depression and mood swings come and go(more when I'm tired) but I am more equipt to deal with them. Go to your GP Kirsty and don't let him palm you off with anti depression tabs they have to help you,

Be assured that you are not alone in your fellings and most of us can relate to how you feel and its awful I know, but there is hope my dear and the sooner you get help the easier it will be for you to see that light at the end of the tunnel

Take care

Yasmin

xx

[tennissmithy]

Yasmin- you look absolutely beautiful in that photo- you put mine to shame!!!

Need to update mine, I did think about doing it and then forgot but at the north west meet, people said I didn't look the same so really must change it!!!

Love

Laura

xx

[Guest yasmin]

Laura How sweet but have a closer look my dear!!

We had some pics taken on Jan 02 2008 to celebrate 20 years of marriage a lady came to our house, I will post a family one when I get time it took me ages to do that one!

You look loveley to me, I have just looked at the members album and everyone is so special

yasmin

xxxxx

[tennissmithy]

Yasmin- Simon goes to weight watchers too,he'd love to be near his goal weight!!! Are you under yours then cos he said there is loads of people at his that have reached goal weight but just go to check!

Is that the key- i need a professional photographer!!!!

Laura

xx