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Has anyone else found some friends have disappeared post SAH


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Hi everyone

Just copied this from a reply I made to Wayne re loss of motivation. Just thought it might be relevant to some of you:

I think we all have felt sometimes that some people around us think everything is now okay with us because we look okay. I've been really down about that particular subject all weekend. Watched a teary DVD on Friday night and realised that people who got in touch last Xmas with me, were filled in about the seriousness of what had just happened to me, expressed all these oh dears etc, and most of them have never phoned back since! These are people I thought were close friends. These are people who in the past I've held some of their hands for months on end whilst they we're going through stuff of their own. :roll:

Big learning curve.

Sometimes I wonder if I really knew some of them. Only a very few people have been there for me. I think in the final analysis: some people I thought of as close friends, were actually social friends and that when I could no longer join in certain social activities with them, they disappeared (out of sight, out of mind?). Or conversely they were people who I helped a lot through their bad times but either don't see or don't want to see that I might need support now.

Don't worry anyone on here though, I've got my head around it and have bounced back up this morning. Just life isn't it - sometimes.

Has anyone else noticed this?

Hugs all round

Lesley xxx

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Hey Lesley

I've been really lucky on this front - those friends that I have I've had for years - some of them over 20 years and others about 7 or 8. I've been really lucky in that they all saw how I was pre and post SAH and are fully aware of some of the things that have changed - not that there are that many. I'd say for the main part I'm probably closer to some of my friends than i was before - maybe due to the fact they could have lost me and it's made both parties (them and me) value our friendship more.

I look at as those that are important to me and me to them are still in my life.

TTFN

Sami xxx

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Hi there

A BIG YES to that. Many people I classed as friends no longer want to know. If I go out for a drink (non alcoholic) and want to go home because I am tired I become a miserable b!!!!r to them. If I walk too slow (I also have arthritis) I'm not trying or I get the words "Come on John its nearly three years now". I could go on. If I try and tell people what I am or have been going through I get the "bored stiff" look. Even good friends that I have kept lose their patience.

I now put it down to their ignorance and try and get on with my life after all they don't know what they've got in front of them.

Cheers

John

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Guest yasmin

Hi Lesley

Yes I noticed that with a few people I think its because they are scared to face you they don't really know what to expect, its normal I guess, people come and go though its just life, i've meet some wonderful people since my SAH so it makes up for the ones i've lost.

take care

Yasmin

xxxxx

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Hi Lesley

On the whole i have been very lucky, my good friends were there for me, and still are, plus others that really surprised me that have come forward and been understanding and fantastic. There have only been two 'friends' that i have known a long time, who have stepped right back, and no contact, but as Yasmin has said maybe they dont know how to react, or what to say. I am not a needy person, in fact quite the opposite, and if they were real friends they would know that. I hate asking for help, try to do what i can on my own, my friends know that and just say they are there if i need them, and they are! I know what John means about boring people, i just dont mention anything unless asked, and then i am brief, if they are genuine they will ask more. Lesley it is a time like this when you find out who your friends are . Perhaps thats not a bad thing!!

Take care

Love Tinaxx

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Hi everyone

Interesting bunch of replies. (Just waiting for Paul to come home 'cos we're off out in a little while).

Yes, know what you all mean. Some people have disappeared but others (not necessarily those I considered to be ultra close) have come forward and have been fantastic. And also of course meeting people on here. Looking forward to meeting a lot of you on 26 July at Sarah's in Northwich.

Had a few more days to ponder it all, and I suppose I'm travelling a different road now and some of my old friends are still on their old journeys, going in a different direction.

Love and hugs, don't know what I'd do without the feedback on here...

Lesley xxx

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