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I'm just looking for the support from other suffers at this time or anyone who can help me with my frame of mind x

I have been waking up for the past 1 1/2 weeks feeling like i dont want to be here anymore but also scared that i am going to do something stupid ( feeling i have no control over my mind )

I feel that i had no control over the bleed so i dont have any control over weather i do something stupid x

I have gone to the doctor i have NOW been referred to a councellor for post trumatic stress and have been recommended to take my diazapam at night and once in day if needed, i wanted to avoid taking drugs but feel i dont have a choice because my thoughts are so strong x

I am looking for whatever support i can from anyone who has had or having these horrible strong thoughts ( i feel they are ruling me )

I try and stay positve BUT i am finding it really really hard x x x

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Dear Donna

I wish i was there to comfort you, i do know what you are going through, i just put on a brave face.

Keep focused on yourself, you have come a long way Donna and i am sure you will make even more progress.

We had our SAH more or less the same time and i think that we have come along far with this site. I think it is good that you have a councillor to talk to because that helps.

Give yourself time Donna, i know that everyone says it will get better and i have seen so many people on this site that have done really well, so i know there is hope.

Everyone is different in their recovery process but i am sure we will eventually get there.

Please stay positive for youself and your son, he needs you.

Myra xx

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My heart goes out to you at this time but you must remain positive. What you're feeling is only natural it is a very hard thing to come to terms with and we all need different levels of help and support through the early months of recovery.

As much as you would prefer not to take the tablets prescribed for you at the moment you do need the help they can provide you with. I hope that you do not have to wait to long for the counselling sessions as being able to talk through your feelings and fears will help you to get things into perspective.

As Myra has already said you have both come a long way remember its baby steps forward but it does eventually get easier. Above all remember that you are a survivor. Sending lots of love and hugs stay strong Donna.

Janet x

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Hi Donna

Hang in there, missus. What you're feeling is not unusual for us survivors. Take the prescription just for as long as you feel you need it. I've been through similar feelings and, in the end, took the doctor's advice and took the tablets he recommended. They have helped greatly. The counselling will help hugely too.

We've all been through a massive life-changing experience that does take some coming to terms with but you WILL begin to feel better, I promise.

Take care and see you in a couple of weeks

Lots of love

Sarah xx

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Hi Donna I don't think you will do anything silly you have Jack to think about and just think how he would feel. Donna I really think you need professional help with this one though, but your head isn't gonna burst and your body isn't giving up it's you giving up Donna and you need to fight it for your son if not for you, nothing bad will happen Donna they have checked you and said you will be fine believe them. Jess.xxx

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Hi Donna :D

I cant really add much more than the others have said....my heart really does go out to you.... wish i had a magic wand to make everything ok again . You must not give up...you are alive...you can get through this......you have come so far.....you are nearly there hun :D You can do this..... Keep smiling...keep postive......and yes think of your gorgeous little boy and hubby :D

Big hugs to you and lots of love..... :D:D

Take Care

Love Tinaxx

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my post is late and I hope it finds you feeling a little bit better, depression only showed its ugly face to me after suffering my SAH and I know how you are feeling truely I do, through my whole life I have experienced it as my mum has always had depression, my memories go back to a small child and are vivid I always swore that I would never want my children to experience living with a mother's depression as I did, even though I do not blame my poor mum its not something you want your children to see. My mum was taken to a mental institution and given shock treatment when I was a very small child and I remember it clearly to this day, she has coped with depression all her life and says you must never give it power because if you do it will just get stronger.

Donna what I'm trying to say is this black dog(winston churchill's words) will only survive if you let it, what you must do is think positive thoughts I know its not easy but only you can do this Donna, keep busy don't drink it makes it worse (I know), but Donna if not for yourself be strong for your family it will pass it always does everyone has real down periods in their lives but you always come up again and you are still very young so you properly hav'nt experienced too many ups and downs yet.

I hope this helps



ps my mum used to read a book called self help for your nerves she swears it was her therapy maybe you could try the library

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Thankyou all

In woke this morning feeling the tears coming but i kept saying NO it was hard but NO i am not going to cry i am fine x

I went round home bargins and even did a shop in tescos..........I was fine x

I went for a drink in the cafe and just felt so down like i could of burst into tears so i decided ti take a diazapam and it DID help it took the edge off feeling low and i even laughed that was at 1pm and now 6pm i am still smiling x x x

Its always the mornings that are worse and when i am just sitting around thinking x x

I have cross stitch, colouring and loads of mags x x x anything to help take my mind off things x x

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Hi Donna

sorry I'm long in replying. I got very depressed and anxious; it started 2 months or so after my SAH. I think part of it was the whole experience of having the SAH and also I was very upset about my taste and smell being heightened and everything tasting and smelling like sewage (I have other symptoms but this taste thing really got me down tremendously) and I couldn't imagine ever living anywhere near a normal life again.

What helped me was being prescribed quite a high dose of antidepressants and also I was given Diazepam for a short time (couple of weeks) and then could take the odd one if required. Also I had cognitive behavioural therapy for my taste problem.

I suppose what I'm trying to say is that I think it's ok to take medication for feeling anxious, it doesn't make you any lesser a person and it certainly gave me an edge and helped me move forward a bit. The other thing that helped me was frequent visits from next door's cat. Having her sit on my knee and purr contentedly got me through many difficult hours.

I hope you feeling a bit better.

Lots of love, am thnking of you,

Anne xxx

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Thankyou guys

Its just nice to know normality is out there and i will get it back..............

I have appointment with councillor for post traumatic stress so hopefully they will be able to help me overcome my fear of fainting and then that should help me alot................

I take paroxitine 30mg 1 a day now

and diazapam on 1 a day but doc wants me to reduce it............

she did mention something about beta blockers any1 have any ideas how these will help x

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