Daffodil

Celebrating my 12 year point mark today. Still regaining and changing and my landscape so different to the one that I lived through back then. I still have growth, I have a new relationship now , daughters almost grown but BTG is such a part of my story that I think I’ll always come and say thank you here to Karen and the moderators and also I think of the lovely folk who helped me along the way and who are no longer with us .wonderful Win and the marvellous Macca whatever you find yourself doing today find the joy in some of it love and healing to all

Steady does it. Your brain will let you know what it needs, sleeping maybe you are finding hard to switch off, mine did for ages, like it’s ‘wired’ so try relation techniques, things that settle and calm you, have a good night routine and take naps throughout the day. You know the cranky toddler that can’t switch off , that’s your brain right now so you’re going to have to learn some new sleep hygiene. Pacing is good, and impatience is fine, it drives you but know and heed your red lights that you’re pushing too hard. And we all do, but there’s a better recovery with slow, self kindness , the other stuff can wait a bit daff x

Hey there. First I am sorry about your mum nd all I can say is have and keep hope . Everything is going to be upside down for a good while, the brain is going through trauma and it runs the show as we know so there is no’normal’ . However she’s in good hands and they are going to work to help mum get through this but it will probably feel like you clog back and forth and that’s not a great feeling for you and the family. Talk to her, she’ll feel the love even if not responding or out of it on drugs, trust me in that. the drain will be helping the pressure for her but she’ll be supe confused and short term memory shot. Speak slowly, don’t expect too much too soon. Measure progress from now and progress there will be. So again. Have hope. Welcome and come here if you need to check in or just have people who understand. Oh and rest yourself, she’ll want her baby to be ok, trust me in that too. daff xx

Hi Shellie, yes you are right we are the truly blessed even though some days are still so very hard. So yoga was my thing before SAH and I could not manage it at all , tried lots of times over the years and then suddenly last year I was able to manage it again. the key to me was letting go of my ego of the things I used to be able to do with it and instead start afresh. I don’t do any full inversions like downward dog though and instead substitute a plank and also I have invested in doing more strength work which is great for menopause too. I personally can’t run, jump without pain so so my advice exercise wise is explore and play and find what makes your heart and body sing now, within new limits. For me that’s hand weights for strength, swimming for cardio, yoga for flex and relaxation and paddle boarding for all round. Oh and have a shunt as well so have to be careful with sudden jerky movements as the head pressure and finding balance is a constant challenge.

Hi there Big Al. I recall reading some of your comments when I first came here scared and confused in 2012, thanks for the comfort they offered me then great of you to come back and share a hello and a view from the future .

Diane Simply put , yes in the early years my tears ran very close to the surface and you know what I found if I tried to close that off it actually created a physical pain for me so I learned that letting my tears go was a release and signal from the brain. if you think about it finding a little more tears make sense. Your brain has been through a tremendous assault , shock , trauma, and yet it controls all the emotions, so it finds ways to releas tension or stress that maybe previously you could have just felt less impacted by, it’s shows that you have less capacity for now, trust it that said if you find you are feeling depressed and have uncontrollable crying then always speak to your GP as that should never be left unchecked

Hi there So I am also peri and have done a lot of looking into this. Yes the tablet form appears to be off limits but I was offered and went for the Mirena coil as it is slow release hormone and no contra indicated effects with having had an SAH, I also was offered the gel but I am not using that at present. I have been on this for a year and feel great. The main thing though for us as we enter this stage of life is look at the vitamin and mineral intake and make sure we are getting enough protein and the right things for us and our bodies as we change but also for our brains which are still healing, I now take a protein supplement specifically for the menopause but I also work out and looked at my cardio fitness , so no high impact exercises for me but rather strength training, flexibility, swimming and walking and genuinely have seen a massive improvement to my overall fatigue levels, mood, skin. I am 10 years out from my bleed but am still seeing changes and improvements

Hi Kathy and happy Annie day. Love the fact that you sing and Win will know, I miss her presence on here but she leaves us all with ongoing wisdoms , I for instance am never without polos ( lifesavers) as they just create a moment of pause. Keep on keeping on lovely lady and practise that fierce, you are setting your energy boundaries and your brain thanks you for it, daff x

Get a lovely collection of hats is my answer, especially for windy wet weather, it seems to swirl the neurons less. but barometer head is real that’s for sure and a fast drop in pressure will bring on the head fog !

It doesn’t seem possible that I sit here 10 years on and can survey where I am now. Not that I have a direct comparison from that day as I have no memory of events for a good few days after my aneurism let go , it was not until I left the ICU and moved to HDU and wondered what on earth was all the kit around me for that I have any memory at all and they aren’t that nice. I pulled my ventricular drain out , my catheter, cannula, I mean they were just an annoyance! Those days though are far in the rear view now but for some reading they may be very present and reality and so just know healing is NOT confined to the first two years, regains continue , you learn more, but just don’t try and rush it faster than your brain is telling you it wants to go. Trust me in that if you learn your warning lights and heed them then you’ll gain confidence and move forward. There’s no going back, getting back, it’s all about what’s possible from here. stay curious. https://popgoestifty.blogspot.com/2022/03/lowering-curtain.html

Hey Sarah. Well done on the four year mark and it’s not that unusual to see a bit of a plateau at that point but also you have become more used to this version of yourself and even if you don’t recognise you are probably doing continuously more and taking less breaks . Try and use the time over Christmas season to recalibrate a bit, bring in a few more pauses, check your water intake and take a look at the sensory load you are subjected yourself to, see what you can change, I got diagnosed with optical migraines linked to my cycle at 5yrs out I think, basically neurologist explained my damaged brain processed my migraines different to how it had before. I had a change of BP tablets to candersarten so pm me if you like but this helped and I have been good since. Remember patience with self if you can. I still forget and get landed on my bottom!

You’ve been in my thoughts today Ann. I hope the meds they gave have been kind and the surgery has gone ok. Now take your time and recover gently and use all the wisdom and tips of what you have learnt over the last few years to help you in that, Go steady,healing thoughts being sent your way, daff x

Hi there I hope you are gaining some comfort and confidence from the replies that regardless of what has happened that caused symptoms then and now, it is about what can be best done moving forward to be able to make sure you are ok now. We cant give medical advice but asking your doctors for blood tests would tell you if you have any deficiencies that might be making you feel worse and which can show up after any brain event, as can just keeping your own eye and diary of daily blood pressure and taking action if that’s outside normal ranges. Do call and talk to someone like Super Mario advices. Worry eats away at you and combined with knowing the risk of SAH from your grandfather’s history means that you have rightly had concerns about this event that was unexplained. Jess is right , the effect of blood on the brain would show in an MRI but you have clearly had an event which has rocked you, made you feel incredibly unwell and worse, nothing was found leaving you with a massive uncertainty. You are doing some great things right now, you are asking for help, you are proactively trying to get help and support so please continue that road no matter how hard, and we are here to help, you just have to post. Rest. Be kind to yourself. That’s a good place to start daff

Daniel Have to jump in on this one too as impatience, ego, ambition , drive, determination , stubbornness, well all these traits are shall we say something that can make for awkward company in recovery but equally they are blooming good traits to own post a brain bleed as you will explore, question, be curious and fall down and get up . BUT, and yes it is a Big BUT, they are the same traits that make acceptance and patience post a brain bleed incredibly hard and fleeting . My opinion to you regarding mindfulness , meditation , stillness is think about the effect the gardening has on you, if you can open your view that practicing gardening is mindfulness in action , it is the paying of attention to one moment, one act, something that can’t be rushed then maybe you may be open to trying some practice yourself. If you don’t want to go to a group buy the book Finding peace in a frantic world and do the short course in that. If you hate it then burn the book! Regarding counselling , it’s fine to have a view that you should be able to cope, to weather, to soldier on, lots share that, but also it’s ok to acknowledge that some things when broken need more attention to fix them then previous breaks. They need extra arsenal , a perspective that talking to someone may help you carry the weight of worry is not a weakness it is a sign of your continued courage and strength to move on with this, to change, to explore what you might not have done before. Headway was a big deal for me. First asking them for help and then Accepting I needed it, they came and assessed me and they helped me put back some of my confidence foundations, one was to take me swimming as up until that point I was scared that my hole in the head or the shunt might let in water!! Yes really. Getting back to contact sports I would think hard about, and then think about what you might fancy trying instead. Like Sami I can’t do high impact stuff anymore, and yoga was out as can’t do any inverted moves and I’m too competitive not to want to do anything ...so what did I do...three yrs in and I took up paddle boarding. I may have been falling over on dry land at the time but my wise , now departed, mum said well give it a go as hurts less falling in the water. And she was right. And so I got good coaching and now I paddle weekly and yes it’s slow, but it’s exhilarating, I’m learning all the time but single focussed , it’s everything my brain craves and if I need to I sit down on the board , drink water, eat a snickers and chill. My pace, my terms, my way. So continue with the reinvention. Continue to regain what is within reach and that doesn’t hurt you and if it does, look for something different that gives purpose. You’re learning a new way to dance and there’s purpose in that Go steady daff x

Well that’s one way to solve it 😂 Glad it’s getting looked at still just to be safe and I imagine hitting your head gave you a bit of a scare too so yes get it looked at. oh and paddle boarding I really recommend for gentle cardio that helps core and balance. And of course falling over in water hurts far less than on land...