1 Year on....

[Greg 21.01.15]

I couldn't make up my mind whether to post something to mark my "anniversary" but came to the conclusion that if I was giving it that much thought then I probably should.

 

This time last year, I was just thinking about the last half an hour or so of work for the day, before closing the laptop and getting in the car to heading to the gym. Little did I know then that within 20 mins or so of being in the gym things were about to change quite so much. 

 

It is a cliche, but also true this last year has been such a journey for me (and for my family). In some respects I feel that the last year was probably going to seem easier than what is to come this year. For me, I will try at some point in the not too distant future to start a VERY gentle phased return to work, but I think everyone is realistic about this. It's hard even for those close to me to get the deficits I now have.

 

I am lucky that the deficits aren't as obvious as they could be as they aren't that severe. Some of this lack of understanding I think in part is my fault. I haven't yet, and am still not quite prepared to change my mind set, tempered slightly for sure, but I am still want to seize life by the scruff of its neck and go for it. And in those quiet moments, when the fatigue is at bay I can feel just the way I used to, not invincible but full of energy and determination. That's what this SAH malarky has taken from me (just for now!).

 

I would be foolish not to take the opportunity that this has also given me and not make the most of it. It might be a strange way to look at things, but sometimes having the pieces of life thrown up in the air and rearranging themselves, does (if in moderation) reinvigorate and allow us to re-evaluate life, something I know a lot of which is discussed here on BTG.

 

I have been fortunate to have the support of some great people both here (so thank you all) and in my family, friends, work and support workers. Those that really matter and care come to the fore in our lives at times like these, and for them I am and will be eternally grateful for their love and support.

 

Not my most positive of postings apologies, hopefully reflective more than maudlin (you are welcome to give me a metaphoric kick up the backside), but it fitted the day at hand.

 

Again thank you all. Keep well.

[Gemma B-B]

Hi Greg,

 

Congratulations on reaching the one year mark - mine is next week and it is an odd one to reach I feel as it has come around quickly, yet also felt like the longest year of my life.

 

I hope your gentle phased return goes well. I began mine at the start of this term and, whilst daunting, it has been a good experience thus far and it is nice to gain another aspect of normality back. As you said it is all about making the most of opportunity and doing what you can.

 

Take care

Gemma

[subzero]

Hello Greg

 

Thanks for your frank sharing of your feelings about where you are since you started your thread April last year.

 

As you say- while you look OK, there is so much going on in your recovery as you have faced the challenges of dealing with life post SAH. Thinking of what you used to achieve,  while struggling with what you are able to achieve- and trying to put into perspective what is realistic to achieve in the days and months ahead.

 

You so much want to get back into work, and your thoughts are often on how fit you used to be.

 

I wish you and your family all the best as you go into this second year together..... you have all faced so many challenges in the past year.

 

Still be patient, as you go forward. Your close family and friends are living every experience in your recovery too.

 

Subs

[Sharlua]

Thanks for sharing and I hope that your determination and mind set help you in your slow return to work. I think reflection is healthy if it helps us in moving forward and take on the positives that you learn about yourself and others from some of the bad things that do happen. I hope this year does see you regain some of your energy and sounds like you have a good support network to help you get there.

Regards

Sharon

[Tina]

Congratulations Greg on your 1st year SAH 'anniversary'

Thank you for posting your reflective thoughts....I remember my first year, so very hard in many ways...but as you say, makes you appreciate life and those who mean so much and are there for you.

Hope you had a lovely day celebrating life with your loved ones.

Wishing you well with your gentle phased return to work, when you feel the time is right for you.

Take care

Tina xx

[Winb143]

I think having this happen to us Greg makes us more aware of how grateful we are for the people around us.

 

My Daughter has always been my Best friend and even more so now, we take things for granted and when we see how loving our Families have been it makes us blubber lol  (Me it does)

 

I hope your Anni day goes well xx it will xx

 

Love to You and Yours xxxx

 

Win xxxx

[Greg 21.01.15]

Thank you all for your kind and as always thoughtful, thought provoking and supportive comments. 

 

Thank you for indulging me, it was quite cathartic to put some of what I felt into words.

 

Gemma, good luck next week, and congratulations on starting the phased return, I really wish you all the best with that.

 

Cheers for now

 

g.

[iola]

Beautiful. Your words ring true. I will be going on three years and still have headaches and weirdness but I am also walking and talking and working and moving. Fatigue is terrible but you learn to push through. Good luck in the year to come. You will have more moments of wonderful and some moments of ugh. It's all good, well most of it.

iola