Mandy Wright

Hi Clare, sorry, had to leave my post above half written on the page when my neighbours popped round to drag me to the sewing night at the pub! The walk was good for my back, until I couldn't sit anymore. Thanks for your kind words. I'm sure you'll be fine in the end, when you start your return to work. You just need to remember your words of wisdom! Hug Mandy x

Hi Tina, thanks for asking. The OH meeting went better than I expected. I don't know why, but I'd worked myself up into thinking it was going to be similar to some old school reports, as in "could do better"! But in fact she was really understanding and supportive of my suggestion of making the three days shifts longer, rather than moving up to a fourth day. She also said that given my issues with sciatica that it would probably be worth working at home for one of the days, most likely the Wednesday. I was also able to ask my OH for guidance and advice regarding a potential issue next week. My boss was due to go to a conference next week but said he wouldn't if I wasn't able to cover him. I'd said that I should be able to cover him for the two and a half days he would be out of the business, when we first discussed it at the beginning of my phased return, but I've not made the anticipated progress and still haven't done two consecutive days. The OH lady was very firm and basically told me not to be daft. She said I could offer to cover some of the time from home, being on call in the unlikely case of an emergency, but that I should not be doing the hours required in the office. I'm going to have another review with OH when she's next in.. So I arranged a meeting with my boss to discuss next week and he's said he's not happy leaving the business without onsite cover, so he's not going to go. I feel really guilty about this, but I also know that, if there had been an emergency, that I would not be best placed to deal with it, even if I was in the office! He has kindly said that it wasn't an ideal time for him to be out of the office anyway, so I'm going to hang onto that and not beat myself up about it as I usually would. Onwards and upwards....

Just a very quick one tonight. SarahLou, I've started reading the Back to Work thread but it's going to take me some time. There are 37 pages of posts there. You're so right though, so many of those posts echo what I'm feeling and the difficulties I'm encountering. I'll keep reading the thread but it's probably going to take a week or more. I've opened it in a separate tab on the IPad so I can keep my place and still keep up with the rest of the forum. Thanks again. Mx

Thank you all for the lovely words above - it makes me pretty emotional to read such kindness. SarahLou, I'll have a look at the two threads you mentioned. I think I read A Letter From Your Brain early on in my recovery but things change. The return to work thread sounds like a must too, and I think I've overlooked that in my travels around the forum. I guess before I started the return myself I had thought it would all be hunkeydorey. Oh the household duties have definitely had to take a back seat. It's a bit frustrating really as I'm keen to declutter to make life, and housework, simpler, but it takes a lot longer and a lot more spoons than I could ever have imagined. Life is on hold at the moment, until I know if I'm going to make it back to work full time. We had planning permission approved last year to build an extension on the house. I was pretty excited about it at the time but now we can't proceed until I know if we will be able to afford the increase on the morgage that it will require. Grrrrr! The sciatica is new for me and started the week I started my phased return to work. I checked it with the Wessex Neuro team as the other half reminded me I'd had some similar pain during the early stage of my recovery. They put my mind at rest on this being unrelated though. I think that it's a combination of things. Three months of a pretty sedentary lifestyle, returning to work and feeling the need to present as well as I could, a history of hypermobility and lower back pain, and quite possibly the psychological impact of the SAH and the return to work following a major life incident. A lot of my joints are objecting at the moment and not just my back. I'm keen to get more active but frankly don't have the energy. We went for a walk around the village yesterday and I found the combination of walking and talking got to me much quicker than it did a few weeks ago. That flipping puzzle. Honestly it was the worst in terms of difficulty for me as so many of the pieces looked the same muddy brown colour! It was a 500 piece picture of a lion and a cub. I should post a picture. Daffodil, thanks for the comments on your difficulties introducing the fourth day. It's reassuring to know I'm not just a wuss! Friday's are the worst too, and I've definitely run out of steam by then. I know I'm only doing a twelve hour week but I relish the long bank holiday weekends even more than when I was doing 40-50 hours a week! Carolyn, I really need to make some time to lock myself away somewhere quiet and weep for a while. My beloved is prone to pop in and out all day when he's around, and we only have one bathroom so the door stays unlocked when it's just the two of us. I should watch a soppy film on my iPad the next time there's a football match on the TV! I like the sound of your "act as if..." principle. Will try to put it to good use here. Macca, Les, thanks for reminding me that even big guys can cry, and that there's no shame in it. I need to deal with the cause and hope I find a way forward with OH on Tuesday. Thank you all once again for the fantastic support that you offer. It really is wonderful to know I can vent on here, away from those who may not always understand. Mandy x

Good news about Mrs Sub's blood test results. A huge congratulations on the forty year anniversary for both of you, too! Mx

Thanks so much for the kind words of support Sub, they mean a lot. I sometimes think I'm my own worst enemy. Part of me still thinks that something like a SAH doesn't happen to someone like me - crazy, I know! I'm also keen to show the world that I'm still as good as I was, and have made a remarkable recovery, and mostly I still believe that. But, because you can't see the SAH from the outside, Even I sometimes forget to make the allowances that I need to, in order to recover effectively. Mx

A quick update from me tonight. I'm struggling to increase my hours at work at the moment and am currently stuck on three days of four hours per week. I'm dreading having to go up to the next step and lose my recovery day between work days. I currently do Mon, Wed and Friday and need to step up to Mon, Tues, Thurs and Fri. I have a review meeting with Occupational Health on Tuesday and am thinking about increasing the hours before increasing the days, although I may try doing Tues, Thurs and Fri this week due to the meeting and bank holiday issues. My boss has already suggested that I work from home one day this week which could help. Currently I'm finding it difficult to find the energy to do much at home on rest days and this just isn't sustainable. It's also being seriously aggravated by the sciatica which started on my return to work and is proving to be persistent, despite taking ibuprofen and seeing an osteopath every week. The family issue seems to have been resolved for now which is a great relief. I feel really emotional at the moment, to the point that even the ad breaks on the TV can tip me over the edge into tears and I feel as though I really need to keep a check on my emotions. I'm not a great one for crying in public but I'm now toying with watching a weenie film to give me some release! Eyesight seems to be back to normal until I get really tired, which is a huge relief, although I've been getting dizzy over the last few days. I got my appointment through for the MRA which was meant to be at six months but will be just under five months on May 12th. Need to find my way to a new hospital for this at rush hour which isn't ideal. Finally managed to complete the jigsaw puzzle that my daughter bought for me at Christmas in an attempt to aid my recovery. I did it in the end so I can put it away and get the space back on the kitchen table! It's good to read everyone's posts on the forums and I'm sorry I don't feel up to posting so much at the moment. Normal service will resume shortly I'm sure. Mx

A lovely thread, Win. I count my blessings that my partner dealt with my SAH with patience, understanding and a healthy dose of humour when appropriate. Love him to bits, too. Mx

Thanks Win, great news! M

Well done Greg, that's great news!

Carolyn, all the best for tomorrow my lovely! Mx

Hi Clare, I think at Wessex Neuro must book appointments for SAH sufferers, especially those of us from further afield, deliberately early as it reminds us we aren't really as well as we may think! This happened to me when I had my 3 month checkup too. I haven't had an MRI since the original bleed and am due one at 6 months, so around June 16th I think. I hope everything comes back clear so that you can relax and enjoy your holiday. Mx

Brilliant post Teechur. That first paragraph sums up e situation perfectly. Thank you! M

Thanks Sub! . It turned out much easier than I expected in the end. I made a call to my bank to ask if I had ever had PPI. They sent out a claim pack with a number of loan account numbers listed. Then they called me and asked some questions and said they probably had enough information to process the claim, which was fortunate as I was a little baffled on how to fill in the forms. Just a few weeks later and they've confirmed that they are going to send me a rather large cheque, or put the money straight in my account, providing I'm happy with their offer. I'm happy!! They did have to set an average award for three loans that they have no information on, as they are so old, but realistically I don't have the info on those old accounts either so it's fine by me. I recommend www.moneysavingexpert.com for advice on the process if people are unsure on what to do - I hope it's okay to provide this link here! I've just got back from having my nails done and the poor lady there has been waiting 18 months for a payout through a third party company and the company is going to take 25% of any award! I must call a credit card company I used to use to see if I can claim from them too!

Hi Clare, you must be starting to get excitited about your forthcoming holiday! It's great to have something to look forward to, isn't it. It seems unfair that the sick pay paid by employers differs so much. Good news that your employers will pay you for your holiday though. Don't think about work while you're away - easier said than done though, I know. Just enjoy the sunshine, Mx

Thanks Clare! The canal trip is just for the morning on a local, very short, canal! I'm not brave enough to plan a trip away at the moment, but we've both agreed that a nice leisurely trip on a barge is probably perfect for our next break. I've started investigating our options. This has been helped by the fact that I've just had confirmation this afternoon that the PPI claim that I finally started while off sick has been approved! Great news and so very easy to do without the need for a third party company taking a cut of any award. I could almost bounce! However I'm going to be sensible and keep the money to one side in case I need to extend the phased return beyond my sick pay entitlement period. Mx

I hope all goes well for you and Mrs Sub this week. Thoughts and positive vibes are being sent your way! Mx

SarahLou, thank you so much for taking the time to respond to my post, especially when you have had such a rough week yourself! I think I might as the OH to talk to some family members if they don't back off a little bit. In fact I think he may talk to them anyway as he's getting a bit concerned. Take care of yourself SarahLou and I hope this week is better for you. Mx

Just a note to update this log. Why is it that when you think you're just about getting a handle on everything, and adjusting to a new normal, life throws a curve ball? There is a potentially nasty domestic issue developing in the family and this has caused all sorts of issues. Too many long phone calls and visits with too much talking and I struggle with this. I need to be aware at the very least of what's going on, and involved in helping find a solution, but everyone is wary of me being involved, while admitting I can't be kept in the dark. I'd only worry now if I was kept out of the loop. I know I can't do as much to help now as I might have been able to before the SAH. It's frustrating and tiring and worrying. But my default position is to tell people not to worry about me as they have enough other people to worry about. This week will be the first one with three days at work, although at least they will be short days. It's the other half's birthday this week and I'm planning on a canal trip which should be nice, and a chance to spend some quality time together, as he has started to relax more about my health. Mx

Hi Debbie, it's great to see you posting after a long time lurking! I can't help much apart from to say that that the medical profession rarely miss a chance to test a urine sample so I wouldn't be surprised if this is standard practise. Try not to fret too much about things but follow the great advice above as there are some veteran experts here who seem to have buckets of common sense. Take care and let us know how you get on. I'll be thinking of you Mandy

Heather, welcome to BTG although I wish the circumstances were different for you. I love your post above where you describe how your relationship with your daughter has developed. I wish you both a long lazy summer together as she continues to improve. Mandy x

Welcome aboard Alison. I'm sure things will work out for you - well done for saving, I think this may be classed as a "rainy day". Best wishes, Mandy

Hi Greg, and welcome to BTG. Sorry you had to find the forum in this way though. As for building stamina, I'm not sure I've worked that out yet myself as I'm only a little over a month ahead of you following a SAH. I've just started a very slow phased return to work as I'm on my third week doing four hour days twice a week. Eight hours work a week and it still wipes me out, although I think it's getting better. All I can suggest is as others will, that you take as much time as possible and be kind to yourself. Your brain has suffered an "insult" and it's not very forgiving. You'll get there in the end, wherever there is, but one things is for sure, it can't be rushed. Check out the Green Room for some light relief, and post on your thread regularly - you'll be surprised how much progress you have made when you look back at your diary. Oh, and check out the singing around here, too! Best wishes, Mandy

John, that's great news and must be reassuring free all that worry. Take it easy and be kind to yourself during your recovery and hopefully you'll soon be up to all that you were before! Mx

Hi Clare, Thanks for the gentle nudge. I've been meaning to update this thread for a few days but always get sidetracked. Regarding the return to work, I've pretty much followed the schedule so far, but I'm only on week 3 at the moment. This should have been 3 days of 4 hour shifts. I saw the OH lady on Monday and said that I was actually relieved that this week and next week are short weeks due to the bank holidays. Since I've returned to work I'm having problems with my back. I suspect this is due to having been fairly sedentary over the last 3 months or so, and despite getting fairly enthusiastic about going for walks during the second month, as I improved in other areas, eg eyesight, I've let the exercise slip. And of course at work I seem to end up standing talking to people, and this is something I've not had an issue with while off sick! I have a pretty-existing issue with hypermobility syndrome, but now seem to have an ongoing problem with sciatica and many other joints. I saw an osteopath last week and got fed up telling her that almost everywhere she was touching hurt! She's on holiday this week and I'll see her again next week. In the meantime I'm working on gentle stretches to try and ease the discomfort. I'm a bit concerned that the back issue is going to hold me back with my progress. I know I need to take it gently, but I also don't want to have to take a step backwards. I need to get walking regularly! I need to get better at planning and scheduling my time, to ensure that I can meet some basic requirements. In terms of work, the content hasn't proved too challenging yet, but given my short hours, I'm focusing on smaller self contained projects. My boss suggested I move my desk never to him to make it less likely that I'll get the usual flow of people asking for support from the woman who never says NO! I'm doing pretty well at diverting those who try to circumvent this strategy. A bit of good news this morning though. Having seen the optician on the 20th March and having my double vision issue measured at a reduced 15 degrees, this morning it was just 8 degrees! We've removed the fresnel lens from my specs which has given me a big improvement in my vision. I know I've said this in the Green Room but I just want to tack it onto this record for future reference. I'm really pleased with the progress with my eyesight.