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Hi, Thanks to everyone for their responses. I just worked and went home and had dinner as usual. Gave wife a big hug. Had some rather mixed emotions but in the end it was positive. Thanks to all who helped me through such a difficult year, I truly couldn't have done it without the support here. Cheers to many more! David

Hello, Welcome Heather. You came to the right place. I have learned 10 times more here than I ever learned from the doctors. I know there are some useful references on the site here or I have a brochure that I could email you that I found very helpful. It seems the UK is pretty far ahead of the US when it comes to SAH care and information. The most important thing you will need for your partner is patience as it is a long recovery process. And each person recovers at a different pace. That is often said but in this case very true. Welcome to the site and I'm sure many more will follow. Good luck and please ask questions. David

Hello my BTG friends: Tomorrow is my one year anniversary of my SAH. I am not sure to cry or celebrate. I will choose to reflect. And be thankful. For my life and the many friends I've made here at BTG. So I will write a poem. It's called TOMORROW TOMORROW Tomorrow I cannot be a better man Cause today I'm doing the best I can I have met many new friends who will be there with me, to the end We've laughed and we've cried We are certainly not done We work together as one We try so hard every day to get better, so hard I pray If I could take a day to borrow That I may feel better, tomorrow So we know only one way To get better each day With our friends in tow Only we at BTG will know that we will better TOMORROW! Good health to all and thank you for your love and support, David

Hi Vicki, Welcome to the site. I appear to be going for the world record for headaches as I am now at 360 days straight (anniv in 5 days woo hoo). My headache when I left the hospital was an 8 and ranges from 4-8 throughout the day. It seems work makes it worse and by 5pm its full blown pain. I have pain medsthat help. I drink a ton of water, helps but doesnt cure. Even had a 9 headache last week. Thought it was an SAH. But it went away after a few minutes. Scared me though. Hope yours get better. David

OMG Lin, I didnt even think about that. I'm sure you'll them about your SAH. The nurse gave me some tip(Cant remember it now) to strain a different way. This was while they were shoving a catharter in my bladder for the 5th time (so much pain) in two days after the other hack nurses couldnt do it. 5 catharters! only supposed to be 1. Breathe Lin! David

Well, I didnt happen to me on the loo but doc did say since then to take tablets as not to strain. I'm gathering that means dont strain on the toilet or my brain will explode again? Don't know about anyone else but knowing you could die every day when you go to the bathroom does not make me feel all that great about it. David

Hello all: Carl- Yes I get same thing sometimes. I had started a thread about songs stuck in my head. Sometimes I get a song stuck in my head and cant get it out. It keeps repeating like a broken record. But by nighttime my brain is mush and I lay in bed and stare at the weather channel and listen to its light music. That helps. Mary- Voices in your head? that explains alot...kidding. I hear voices too. they say rest David. I laughed Win. Then I did your exercise. Put me to sleep. Thanks Win. David

Hello, Thanks to all for replies. I think we all want to know when we will get "better" but unfortunately there are no good timelines. Karen, I like the two year mark. Makes me feel good as I am approaching one year on 7-30. Sadly I feel worse today than I did 1 month post SAH as I returned to work after two months. Felt about 72% then but 50% now. Have headaches, fatigue, leg pain, weakness. But as Macca said, it is a matter of managing it. Hope it gets better for you Caroline and for all of us. David

Hey Kids Hello all BTW BTG'ers. I was gonna post Wednesday but figured I'd wait until the end of the week. This week was the busiest week at work since my SAH. And you know what, I made it! No sick time, no lates. 36 hours of pure hard work. It felt good other than the obvious fatigue.We were very busy after the 4th of July holiday and it never stopped. Can't say I didnt struggle some. Monday was the worst and then it got better. I went to doc today for other issues. He wants me to have colonoscopy. he's not worried but just wants to be sure. Blood in toilet never a good thing. I have finally decided to start a daily journal. I hope it will help my progress. I have a pocket calendar and i give myself a number grade from 1 to 10 for headache and overall health. Monday was an 8 headache and 5 health. Tuesday was 8 and 6. and so on. I may make some small notes but dont have spoons to write a book. Has anyone done this? Did it help? Anyways, need to be 40 hours by September. Very simply my job is a full time job. I do some accounting work, some IT, reports, customer service, account management and payroll. Talk about multi-tasking. Not sure I do it as well as I used to but I manage. Anybody ever heard the saying "Fake it til you make it"? I dont mean my job but my health and stamina. It might just work. Sandi- You are the leader of this lovely lot. Thanks for revisiting. I am glad to see you are getting the rehab help. That must be so valuable. I too have been thinking of volunteering. I do some now but want to do more when I feel better. It is a gift that we can give to others. Selfless and I applaud any who do it. And we are the beneficiaries. Cath- Please join the BTW group. Much experience and alot of support here. We would love to hear how you are doing. SL- I know we talk but you are a heart of gold. And you are so strong to have changed shops and still been successful. I am so proud of you. We share our good days and bad and some days we are just shattered. But we continue on Macca- We get knocked down, we get up again, but their never gonna keep us down. Hope you are getting on well mate. Keep on pushing on. Mary- You didnt know about this thread? Silly rabbit. I know work is frust for you at times so please vent here. It is a great group. Hi also to Sarah, Win and anyone else I've missed. We can do this. Peace and love, David

Ok, I will try too. I diet every day but havent lost in a while. Havent gained though. No energy to exercise so have to starve myself. Let David try too. Skippy ya look pretty skinny in the picture. You too Mary, course I cant see past the tile/brick Win, where is your picture? Kerry- welcome, we havent met. After this diet, Mary and I are gonna get together and have a BIG FAT BEER in New Buffalo. Maybe even a Fosters Lager. No Seefood diets Win! David

Hi All: Sandy-thanks for posting. It sounds as if we are all havinga bit of a go. I'm glad you told us what the "weirdo symptoms" were I never knew for sure. I have the same ones as well. Glad the rehab is going well. I don't think I am capable of learning any new concepts so brain puzzles would be a struggle for me. I know my job and thats about as good as it may get. Macca- Have been thinking of you. How are you? Sorry about your mate. Scary isnt it? I would have written you but have spent the weekends in bed. No laptop. I hope you are well. Dawn-Take as much time as you physically need and financially can afford. You cant go back too soon. Not possible. I only went back because I have bills to pay and wife who needs my income and insurance. As for me, I have a new version of Bangers and Mash for you English folks. My headache is always a banger and my brain is mashed potatoes. Over the last four weekends, I have rested and done mostly nothing other than store. Week 1 and Week 2 I felt great after rest. Week 3 and Week 4 I felt terrible after resting. I'm going cuckoo. This SAH thing makes no sense. Such is the roller coaster. David

Great thread Mary, My hearing is soooo sensitive. Like Sandy it is if bionic. I can hear a squirrel 3 doors down. Restaurants are terrible. It's like I can hear 50 different conversations in the background. We went out to dinner Sunday and thought I was going to strangle table behind me. It was three young gay men. Now I have nothing against gay people. But they were carrying on as if they wanted everyone to see and hear them. Even my wife said they were loud. So, we moved. But if I was alone I might have gone over and told them to zip it. David

Hi GG, I know exactly how you feel. I have begged off many things lately. Last week was the Red Hot Chili Peppers concert. 15,000 people and loud noise. Nooo. I missed our Memorial Day Church festival because it was 90 degrees. It would have taken too much out of me. Golf is probably my favorite activity. Been playing since I was 10. 37 years. I haven't played yet. All that being said Michelle, we all know our own limits. I trust you know yours. If you cant do it physically, dont do it. But dont not go because of sadness. As Loopy says, make your own memories. You will, but on your terms. You have made my day many times just with your words, and that didnt take much energy at all right? I have to pace myself right now to keep my job. That is most important. But if I can get my health back together I will sure as Shanghai be playing golf and doing the things I love. It may just take some time. You are young. Give yourself a break. There are more memories to make. Be well, Big hug from Big Scotsmen! David

Hello all: Another strange week. Monday and Tuesday I felt great. Best in 6 months. Wednesday rough. Thursday and Friday ok. But wouldn't you know it my co-worker called in sick Thursday and Friday with a 'headache'. And I have a brain hemorrhage. But it caused me twice as much work and wiped me out. Murphys Law. So today I slept til 3pm somehow, guess I needed it. No one will beat me in the sleep Olympics! On the good side, the pain in my legs and feet have gone from a 10 to a 5. Think its just fatigue. No help from doctors. Feel like I'm making progress. I will trudge on. In life it's not always what you achieve but what you overcome. Still fighting. And how was your week? Good vibes, David

Hello, Copied from Sundays Green Room for those who may not frequent there............. So neuro appt on Friday went swimmingly. I walked out after 5 minutes. I arrived and they took my info. This DR was a referral from a friend, I didnt know him.The DR. called me in. Mr mac? Yes. He walks in to the room before me and proceeds to change the sheet on the exam table. Apparently not changed from patient before. I go to shake his hand and turns his back on me. I say H H H Hello and he does not respond. He looks at my papers and starts barraging me with questions. No hello, what are you here for, nothing. He asks me several questions, I answer but he doesn't respond to my answers. He asks about my CT and MRI. I give him exact dates and results from the top of my head as I know them. He says well let me go look at them on the computer. I just told you the first two showed blood and THE LAST THREE were negative. He goes back to his office and I flippin walked out. I told the nurse that I was leaving and maybe I'll be back another day. If you cant greet me, say hello and then you turn your back to me then I'm gone. We are human beings, not lab rats. Oh well, I'll try Neuro No. 3 in a few weeks. What a joke. I called the office back and asked if I would be charged. She said no. I asked for my personal info to be mailed to me or be shredded. I advised the Doctor couldnt look me in the eye so I left. I have been to many doctors in the last 3 years and I won't accept this from ANYONE. Its ok, it was only 5 minutes of my day. Came home and rested. And you wonder why we are reluctant to go to doctors. On the positive side, my blood work From Tuesday came back normal. Liver and Prostate were my concerns. They're fine. Feeling better today after some rest. Have a good weekend everyone. David

Hello, Well this week was kind of strange. As most of you know, last week was rather a disaster. But this week was strange. By that I mean I still didn't feel that great physically but much better mentally! A level of acceptance I guess. But with last week was at 40 percent health and this week 50 percent. Small progress? Not sure 50 percent health is cause for a celebration. I learned from my good friend Mary that when you have a good day to not think you're "cured". Thanks Mary! Leg pain still an issue but it went from a 10 to a 7. Small progress again. I worked every day and was not late or left early. This is my 4th week of going from 31 to 36 hours so maybe ? I'm getting used to it. Two doctors appts also this week. First was ok, second was a joke. I'll update the Where to turn thread later. How did everyone else do? David BTW Macca this is my diary installment for the week!

Hello, Carl, you are a genius. What a great list. It is so extensive. Unfortunately almost ALL of them apply to me I will print it and show it to my neuro today and highlight the biggest ones. Although neuros are kind of arrogant so not sure what he'll think of it from little old lay person me. I will say that lately when I go to the doc I am very firm. Like Windy said "lay it on thick". I tell them that my fatigue is "debilitating" and I give them the snake eye or as my wife calls it the stink eye. That means dismiss me as whining and I'm coming across this operating table and stab you with your scalpel! Well no but you get the picture. Thanks all, David

Hi Gill, It's funny you mention that because I just had that same conversation with a friend of mine yesterday. I was mentioning my leg pain and going to the doctor's and my friend said that they would be "more independent" than me. I asked what they meant and they said well they would have overcome it by now with their mind. I was rather offended. I think we all just discussed that trying to overcome SAH with willpower is like trying to overcome blindness with your mind. I know some people "dont get it". I have tried numerous times to explain this to my friend. But unfortunately I don't have time for haters or doubters in my life. That person is no longer my friend. David

Hello All: I was thinking while at the doctors yesterday. I've been to so many and none seem to get SAH very well. You tell them you have horrible fatigue and they give you that "whatever" look. So what I have started doing when I go to the doctor is I tell them I have fatigue. They give me a blank look. I say no really the fatigue is really "debilitating" and on a scale of 1 to 10 is about 100. Then they sort of seem to get it. Now that I have their attention I tell them that the fatigue is horrible and when the next person comes in and tels them fatigue is horrible to PLEASE BELIEVE THEM. Maybe if enough of us tell them and to treat the next person with concern and respect that future SAH'ers will have it better. This make sense or have I lost all the marbles I have left? Thanks, David

Hello, Sandi- Your rehab specialist sounds great Sandy. That seems beneficial. It is always helpful to hear how others have struggle and perhaps recovered that gives us hope. How come you never reply to my replies to your PM"S? Macca- Hope you are well. Holiday right? I was reading an old post and saw you have 3-4 years to retirement? That is great. I have 15-20 depending on how much pension I want. Hi to everyone else. My work is killing me but going to see a new neuro on Friday. Say my GP yesterday and he said I am not endangering my health by continuing to work. He suggested reducing but not possible right now. Feet feel like someone hit them with a SLEDGEHAMMER. Take care everyone, David

Hello, Went to GP yesterday. Got my bloodwork done. Main reason, want to have liver, PSA (prostate) and cholesterol checked. So far, so good. So I mentioned my leg and foot pain. Sent me to Neuro. Thats what I expected. But the good doc says that my leg and foot pain could be "pyschological". But of course, it's all in my head. But someones hitting my feet with a hammer though doc. He said they may try Wellbutrin later for fatigue. Heard bad things about that. The rest of the appt he scolded me for being fat (though I've lost 25 lbs since SAH) and not having a physical. His physicals are a waste of time, you blow in to a tube and then he barley examines you. So I paid 200.00 to be told I'm fat and my leg pain is imaginary. Can I sign up for that again? Have appt with new neuro on Friday at noon Does this sound familiar to anyone? We will keep pressing on. He did say I don't have any "life threatening illnesses" so I have that going for me. He also said I should keep my job if I can. Well yes that is the plan. Feeling better this week mentally but not physically so I will be fine. Thanks to all and to all a good night. David

Hello, Thanks Macca, Mary and everyone. Ya'll will be happy to know I have made an appt with my GP for tomorrow at 5PM. I won't have to miss any work. He is a Generalist but at the very least I need to start a paper trail if I need to cut back. When Friday fatigue becomes Monday fatigue after resting three days then I need to do something. not too mention 21 straight bad days. I'll let you know how it goes. Thanks. David

Mary, Good luck with your neurologist appt tomorrow. Please let us know how it turns out. David

Hello All: Thanks to all for your replies. An update and some perspective. I went to pain clinic. Asked about Amitrypeline and doc said wouldnt mix well with my other meds. My current pain meds work ok so not a big deal. I can manage the headaches ok. Its the leg and foot pain that are a problem. Can barely walk by end of day.Have an appt with GP on Friday to see about leg pain and get a physical. Sure he'll send me to a neurologist. Already been to one who was no help. About the job. I have my DREAM job. Work with great people utilizing my best skills of math and communication. Good pay. Great boss and owners. Then I get an SAH. So understand my frustration.I can do this job in my sleep, no need to change. For 9 months after SAH I worked at 65-75 percent and did fine. Usually would have 2 good days, 2 bad days and one so so. Now on my 10th month I have regressed to 40 percent health. Every day is horrible. Imagine how you felt 2 weeks after SAH. Then go work 36 hours. Thats how I feel now. Yes I need time off but now is not the time with our summer hours. Now am i not completely stupid (no comments) but if I am not better in the next 1-2 weeks I will have to cut back. I am hoping I get better. I know whats wrong with me. I work too much. When I went from 31 to 36 hours is when this poor health kicked in. Perhaps I can only work 30 hours. Perhaps that is my max. But I have to try. I work for a small company so me not being there causes a burden on others and the business. I could quit it all and go on disability but then try and live on 250 dollars a week. Not ready for that yet. Thanks to all who responded and I hope this helps you understand my despair. Love to all, David

Mary, You're not complaing, you're venting. And we're here to listen. You've been through so much. I don't believe one person should have to go thru so much. But please do cry. You know I hit my rock bottom last week and it felt good to get it out. Lots of support here. I am in constant pain also but am fighting on. Is there another pain med that they can give you besides the one that you're allergic to? There has to be. I would think the neuro can help. I just tried to make an appt with well recommended neuro and shes booked until mid July. I will have to try another. First neuro I saw told me I had neck problems. Not at all, so hope yours is a good one. Here for you anytime or I'm gonna come to Indiana and sit on you til you laugh! Much love, David