Guest thepalace1 Posted March 14, 2010 Share Posted March 14, 2010 It was Sunday 18th October 1998, 7pm, I was 17 years old, and currently living with my sister in Keighley, West Yorkshire. It was a relatively un-eventful evening, until the telephone rang. My sister answered the phone, to be greated by the voice of our uncle, he said that we must get ourselves to Bradford Royal Infirmary immediately, as my father had taken ill after a fall. Myself and my sister scrambled around getting ready and awaiting the taxi to take us to my fathers bedside, on ward 1. It took us 35 minutes to arrive at the hospital, where we were greated by my fathers sister and her husband, my grandmother and my mother. We were led to ward 1, on the way my uncle (dads sisters husband) explained that my father had had a suspected stroke. We arrived at ward 1 and ushered to my fathers bed. He was unconcious, with breathing aided by an oxygen mask. You could see he was struggling for breath, and he was gasping under the mask. After 10-15 minutes, we were asking to the relatives room to speek with the doctor. The doctor arrived and chatted for several minutes, stating they were unsure of the problem, and that my father would have a scan on his head, later that evening. We went outside for a cig, and too the cafe in the hospital whilst they completed my father's scan. A few hours later, the ward sister on ward 1 told us that he had been taken directly to the High Dependency Unit from the scan, and directed us there. When we arrived in the HDU, we were led into another relatives room, within 2 minutes, consultants and doctors and god knows who else entered the room. The told us that my father had had a serious bleed on his brain, and that his condition was fastly deteriorating. They said at the moment the situation was very grave indeed. They would continue to monitor his motor reflexes and things like that. I went straight from the relatives room and parked myself on a bench outside the door to th HDU, and there I staid for a fair few hours. For reasons I still do not know, I couldn't bring myself to go to his bedside. It was about 4am, and we were advised to go home and get some rest. 10am the next day and I made my way back to the hospital. When we all met at the main entrance to the hospital and set off for the HDU unit. We were in the HDU all of 10 seconds when we again were ushered into the relatives room, where the consultant and another lady met us. The consultant went through the latest news and hit us with the news, that my fathers brain was dead, there were no motor responses, and a second scan that morning showed the bleed had grown and ecapsulated most of the scan images. The lady then introduced herself as the transplant co-ordinator, and had we considered transplanting my fathers organs. We went away absolutely devestated and inconsolable. We were advised to go and say our final fairwells. I asked if I may say goodbye to my father on my own which I did (wow the tears as i write this) This was the first time I had seen my father whilst on the HDU. He was covered in a foil blanket, with a tube in his mouth, and a machine breathing for him. We decided to donate my fathers organs. A cornea, a heart valve and a kidney. He passed away officially at 09:15am on Tuesday 20th October 1998, in Theater 7 at Bradford Royal Infirmary. The official cause of death was a Grade 5 Sub Arachnoid Haemorrhage. My father was 45 years old. --------- This is the first time I have spoken about this in almost 12 years. TYhank you for reading Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted March 14, 2010 Share Posted March 14, 2010 So sorry for your loss, but thank you for being brave enough to share after all this time. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kempse Posted March 14, 2010 Share Posted March 14, 2010 Sorry I don't know your name, but I think you have been very courageous telling your story on here. It is not an easy thing to do, even for those of us who were lucky enough to survive a sah, so well done and I'm sure writing it will have helped you in the grieving process. I am not surprised the tears flowed, you were so young when this happened - I hope you can reflect on the good memories of your Dad before he was so sadly taken away from you. Don't forget there is always someone on here willing to listen or have a chat if you should so wish. Sending you a big hug, Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 thank you so much for sharing your story with us you are very brave person reciting your story my lin had a class 5+ bleed and how she survived is beyond me maybe this is one way you may be able to come to terms with what happened this sort of injury is not talked about because it happens to a select few people each year it hurts so much the families left behind or who have to pick up the pieces so to speak your dad was very young i have known some as young as 30 if you get some comfort by telling the story of dad you may be able to move on in your life with the happy memories of dad stay as a member and chat to us thats what we are here for to help each other get through each day we find hard but for now massive hugs and cuddles you i think are starting a new chapter in your life which will help you come to terms and come out the other side a little better and possibly able to cope just that bit better take care my thoughts are with you take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
poppy Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 You are a very brave person and my heart went out to you as I read your story. It must have been very hard to share. poppy x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
johntaras Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 So sorry for your loss, it must have taken tremendous courage to share your story. When I read stories like yours I realise how lucky I was to survive. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Liz D Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 Hi I'm so sorry for your loss. You still have a lot of pain. I hope you've found a little relief in sharing you and your dad's story. 12 years is a long time to hold all this in. Take care Liz xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest thepalace1 Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 Thank you all so very much for your kind words, I have to rush out now, but will post again sometime this evening or tomorrow Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 Hi Welcome to BTG and so sorry to hear of your loss but thank you for being brave enough to share it with us. Its very hard as an adult coming to terms with losing a parent or having to see a much loved parent on life support so I can imagine how traumatic it must have been for you at just 17. I hope that sharing your experience has been of help to you in coming to terms with what happened and that you can now move on and remember all the good times you shared with your father. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rod123 Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 Hi, and welcome to the site, thanks for sharing your story and i hope that in some way this helps you, i was with my wife when she had her sah almost a year ago and i remember the waiting around it was the worst thing in the world, i felt so helpless. I think you did a really good thing donating organs, i've always thought it was something everyone should do to but don't know what i would do in that situation. Best wishes Rod Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
KelBel Posted March 15, 2010 Share Posted March 15, 2010 Hello 'thepalace1' Thank you for sharing yours and your fathers story. It must have been so very traumatic for all of you, and is a devastating thing to have happened at such a young age (both your fathers and your own age). I feel very lucky to have had not only a low grade bleed and a successful operation but to be coming through the other side now. Like Rod I think it is a lovely thing that you & your family made the decision to donate organs to help others. Best wishes Kel x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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