Jump to content

Hello - Milly


milly
 Share

Recommended Posts

Hello my name is Holly.

My boyfreind had a hemorrhage a few months ago caused by a Arteriovenous Malformation. He is now out of hospital and is doing fairly well, thank god. However he has bad short term memory and will need to have Gamma knife Radiotherapy treatment.

His family totally blame me and have stopped me seeing him.

Does anyone know much about this condition or The Gamma knife Radiotherapy.

I am so upset his family think I'm too blame. They say it was the stress of trying to impress me as we hadn't been together long.

I just want him to get better.

If anyone can give me some more information or advice I'd be very greatful.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Welcome to BTG.

I have read your post and I see your concern for your boyfriend. I even understand the shock to his own family...but accepting any responsibility as they feel it was your fault..

forget about that as we all know that is verging on madness. You could have been in Timbuktu....Australia it would have still happened. You may have never known him it would have still happened. At the moment the shock of his own parents upset them. If they have to point their own fingers to blame, they should look to their own genes first. It's still unfair....but it makes more sense than madness.

I imagine you are both quite young and as you said he has made a good recovery. His age is on his side. Give him time and he will be fine and make an excellent recovery.

Good Luck

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Holly and welcome!

As far as I'm aware, an AVM is an abnormal connection between arteries and veins....something that you're born with and can be prone to bleeding due to their weakness.

It is unfair to blame you, as the cause of the bleed ... hopefully, your boyfriend's parents will eventually come to their senses and I'm hoping that it's just the shock of the event that's made them think this way.

I personally don't know too much about Gamma Knife Radiotherapy, but the following link may help. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Gamma_knife

Wishing you the very best .....xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Holly sorry your going through such a traumatic time.Most of us try to find some one or something to blame when something like this happens and we panick. Try to give them space, get as much information as you can and try not to get caught up in blame,do not even think of blaming yourself. Maggiex

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello Holly and welcome,

Like others have said, you are in no way to blame for what has happened to your boyfriend - I'm just sorry you have been made to feel that way when it has probably shocked you as much as it has his parents. Maybe in time they will see how unjust and unfair they have been. In the meantime, I hope he continues to do well - I'm sure the link that Karen has posted will be informative for you.

You will get much support and advice on here - take care,

Sarah

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Holly

Welcome to BTG. I'm so sorry you find your self in this position but you are in no way to blame. I remember watching a programme last year about a man who had this condition. He was operated on in Bristol and it was made very clear that this condition is something you are born with. The veins and artery are fused together and as far as I can remember it happens during development.

It's a dreadful shock for family when a SAH happens. I'm sure it's shock that's caused their reaction, but why didn't anyone at the hospital where he was treated explain all this to his family?!

I hope things get better for you.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Holly

I'm sorry to hear of your boyfriend's ill health but glad he's improving.

I'm very surprised to hear of his parents reaction. To blame a person for something like this is absurd. It strikes me that they may be in shock and are finding it difficult to process the event.

My brain haemorrhage was in November 2009 and the information given to my parents is that it was congenital. It was initially considered by my family that pressures at work caused the bleed since I suffered tremendous work stress in the 18 months preceding my illness. The medical profession dismissed this.

As your boyfriend's health improves the more independent he will become from his parents and I am sure that this is something that you can eventually iron out with him.

Your boyfriend is likely to be very sensitive to stress at the moment and the fact that he may become embroiled in disputes between those around him may cause him a lot of anxiety. I'm unsure what contact you're having with him at the moment, but try not to overload him with too much stress. This will be easier said than done given the family's stance against you, but it's likely that he will not be up to resolving complicated family dynamics at present.

Let him know that you care and try not to percolate on the same level as his family. He will be grateful if you can remain calm. I avoided high dramas like the plague.

Whilst I am no doctor, I will stick my neck out on this one - this is not your fault.

Take care

L

Edited by Lin-lin
Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Holly :) A very warm welcome to BTG. So sorry you are going through such a horrible time. I am sure it is just the shock and his parents will come round. It is not your fault...i was also told it was something you are born with. Wishing you and your boyfriend all the very best. Take care and look forward to hearing more from you. xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hello Holly,

So sorry to hear your boyfriend has suffered a Haemorrhage, i know how you feel my boyfriend suffered one too in Feb this year but is doing wonderful now thank god.:-D Like others have said its completely absurd that his family are blaming you but thats shock for you.Glad to hear that he is improving and hope he continues to do so.

Wishing you both the very best take care

Angela xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Holly

Welcome to the site.

I am sad to hear that your boyfriend has suffered a haemorrhage.

It is shocking that his family think you are in some way to blame, it is certainly not the case as others have stated, and all literature on AVM either on this site or others sites on the internet will confirm that.

I do hope the family manage to work through their shock and anger at what has happened and will come to realise the error they have made against you.

Take care

Kel x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...