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1 Year Strong


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Hello everyone,

I did not get much sleep last night knowing today, a year ago my aneurysm ruptured while I was out shoveling our sidewalk. (It was just a light dusting mind you. I was not exerting any effort at all. Friends seems traumatized and hated shoveling after that! Which I believe living in Calgary they already did prior to my annie :roll:) It seems surreal and I honestly do not know what to feel. I have mixed emotions over the past year. It was not easy for sure but I have somehow managed to "fully recover." I still have my days where I just want to sleep the whole day and wish I could turn off my brain.

I had a CT and MRI done last Thursday. Thankfully, coil is intact and they did not find anything abnormal. My newest scans did show tiny specs of brain tissue damage in different parts of my brain. There were 3 to be exact. My neuro said it is so tiny and I should not worry about it.

How can I not worry about it though? I know only you guys can empathize. There's one thing I know I feel for sure and that is gratitude towards all of you who selflessly contribute to this site. Thank you for your dedication and for all the support and kindness.

Lastly, for those who recently experienced this traumatic event and those who continue to struggle with it...be strong. If I may share this quote from Carlos Castaneda:"The trick is in what one emphasizes. We either make ourselves miserable, or we make ourselves strong. The amount of work is the same." You are definitely at the right site and the best company.

Advance Merry Christmas and all the best in 2012 to you all. I wish all of you healing in the new year.:-D

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Hi Ann.

The first year is a hurdle that will quickly fade into history.

Arbitrary anniversaries are of no significance.

You mention Carlos Castenada, social anthropologist and Psychic explorer.

You must be a fellow hippy- survivor, or dark -art investigator to have come across him.

I have a fascination of shamanic disciplines and the manipulative power of "witchcraft" and suggestion, that Carlos explored so well in "Journey to Ixtlan"

and "A separate reality"

The teachings of Don- Juan have been a bedrock of my whole adult life.

I have sought, all my adult life, to become a "Man of Knowledge" and right up until my SAH I was on track.

The true test of power came in the recovery process.

One day, you are physically powerful and financially secure, then ....BANG ... everything has gone.

The true test of power is how you adapt to, the new circumstance, that presents.

It could all fall apart,.....or.... you could put into motion the, previously hypothetical, thought processes that lead to positive outcomes.

Castenada's books have been both lauded and lambasted, but the there are so many universal truths contained within, that they cannot be ignored.

The defeat of fear is the single most important battle that all of us have to face.

Your anniversary is just another fear to defeat.

Don- Juan said "Once you begin running, you will run all your life".

I used to manage a factory, now I teach people with learning difficulties and occasionally teach lessons in mind control, to higher level students..

I have a new life, post SAH, and all the previous accumulated experience has led me to my current position.The path I am on, now, is a path with true


It's a new kind of power, routed in knowledge and experience of hallucinogenic, alternative reality.

You are right to say the work is the same, positive or negative, it's just a case of how you perceive yourself.

I choose to be powerful, and not a victim of this awful event, and that is whole point.

It's a choice.

It took five years to climb out of the hole of despair, but the knowledge acquired from Castenada, Bertrand Russell, Von- Durkheim and Desmond Morris

Has led me to my current position of power within academia.

Knowledge, is power.

Self belief is a condition that ,either will, or will not , evolve in anyone's individual psyche.

The previous life has gone.

The battle for reconstruction is fraught with many obstacles, but the true test of anyone's character , is how the new reality is applied to the future

world that we all find ourselves living in.

Fear, Clarity, Power and old age , the true tests of "A man of knowledge" .

Carlos was right, you are what you make yourself!

All the best.

Bill B.

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  • 4 weeks later...

I know this is late but happy Anni Versary, I would sing the song but you cant take back first impressions so I don't want to do that.

During the past few days, by joining this forum, I have felt a level of empathy I have not experienced anywhere else. I agree with your comments and your quote is so true, thank you for sharing it.

I hope this next year is full of joy and strength.

All the best.

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