rampmama Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 So everyone keeps telling me how lucky I am to be alive. And I am grateful for the extra time I have been granted, but I can't help but feel depressed. Anyone else feel the same way? I had an SAH on March 13 and went to the hospital right away because of the increddible pain in my head. The next morning I had a craniotomy and a clip, but it didn't quite work so I needed to have some coils put in before I could go home. I am now at home and so happy to be with my family and children, but I can't stop thinking about the experience and all the "what ifs". I am also terrified to have a glass of wine. My doc says I am fine but I am still scared. Will life ever feel normal and carefree again? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bogbrush Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 Hello and welcome to the site Will life ever feel normal and carefree again? Yes, I'm sure it will, but it can take time. Your are very early on in your recovery and I remember from my own recovery that the fatigue and headaches really got me down at times. Even 7 months down the line, not a day goes by when I don't think about my SAH, but the "what ifs" stopped some time ago when I realised that it's no more likely to happen to me again than to anyone else. That's easy to say, I know, and hard to believe at first, but it's true. On the alcohol front, It was about 8 weeks before I could take any alcohol and even then, it went straight to my head and brought me out in a rash! Unless, your medication forbids it, there's no reason to be scared of having a glass of wine now and again. To use a cliché - Time is a great healer - that's very true with SAH. Things do improve over time, but remember that everybody recovers differently, there's no set timetable. Regards Keith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 Hi and welcome to the site, I agree with what Keith has said .... I'm 19 months post SAH and even now, not one day passes where I don't think about the SAH .... most people who have had a SAH, will tell you similar. Things do get easier with time and the "what ifs" will start to fade away. For me personally in the early days, I used to have times where I felt very emotional and I would just burst into tears. Like Keith has said, everybody has a different recovery rate, so don't worry if you're taking longer to recover than what you've been told. I tended to feel a little abandoned after leaving hospital, there wasn't much advise and my GP then, was pretty useless. I thought that I would be back to my normal self at 3 months post SAH and fully recovered .... but I wasn't. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Skippy Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 Hey there I'll second what Keith and Karen have said. It does take time and it does get easier as the time passes. Like Keith, I'm seven months post SAH and still suffer the fatigue and the headaches. Like you I wouldn't touch alcohol - mainly because I was on the anti-spasm drug Nimopodine and didn't want anything to interfere with it. Now though I go to the pub on a Friday night and while its the football season, on a Sunday lunch too. The only affect for me is that the hangovers are worse :? All my Doc/Neuro advised me was that everything in moderation was fine. Life is always full of what ifs - its just that now they seem more prominent. Yes, you are lucky to survive and yes this is an horrendous thing to have happen, but there has been some sound advice given on here many a time and the best thing is - listen to your body, do what it tells you and take things at your own pace. We're all here for you if you need advice, a shoulder to cry on or just a ****** good moan. Welcome to family Sami xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 Hi there Welcome to the site & I can only go with what Karen, Keith & Sami have said, the what if's fade in time & that just what it all takes is time 13 March isnt that long ago at all, its such an emotional thing to have been through its no wonder our emotions are thown into turnmoil. Its a rollacoaster but it improves.... Take care Louise.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
andyp Posted April 3, 2007 Share Posted April 3, 2007 Hi-I can agree with the others-I am now 47 and over 2 years on and..I still have that thought every day...but life has got nearer normal..although I value things more and feel like I have had a second chance. I had problems ..if you call it that with alchohol-I felt tipsy on half a pint of beer and it took ages to get back to where I was. Sadly I am looking at a can of beer now...my second tonight..Hicc!! Oh dear..what does that say about me? You are at a very early stage and yes we all had different recovery rates. Sami amazed me ..she was up to all sorts so soon! All I can advise is listen to your body-it will take time-there will be bad days ..and good..probably times you want to cry or you feel depressed and times you just thank God you are alive and with a wonderful family. I don't know what help you have in terms of support groups..but there is an SAH Patient experience DVD going around that you may want to see..not sure if Sami is the next to see it but i am sure it would get forwarded to you if you want it. You will also get great support from the wonderful people on this site. All the best Andy P Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Portia del Carmen Posted April 5, 2007 Share Posted April 5, 2007 Hello! Recovery from SAH is almost completely down to the way you feel in yourself... do whatever you feel you can do and nothing more - when you need to stop then stop! I had my first SAH in May 2003 - traumatic, felt awful, diagnosed with food poisoning at A&E... long story. It was treated by coiling. I had a headache which was the stereotypical "worst headache of your life" thing - which wore off eventually. Back to work part time in 2 months. Sadly further aneurysms - one of which - smaller than the usual treatment size - seems to have burst at the the end of January - I felt I had a cold and backache - my GP thought ear infection and no need to treat the backache, A&E when I could no longer speak properly after a week at work (vasospasm stroke) admitted me under a cardiologist and then sent me home before calling me back and sending me back to the National Hospital for Neurology - where the SAH was diagnosed and treated after a precautionary period by clipping. Like I say, long story. The best consultant at the National Hospital (Neil Kitchen) says "do whatever you feel you can do" and then tells me I'm not normal in my recovery - in the best way, I feel and he agrees! Am back to work, have been on holiday and getting married in May! I push myself every day but stop when my body says "no." That has to be the best way. YOU ARE THE BEST PERSON TO WORK YOURSELF OUT! Once you've had something like this, and most importantly have worked out the implications, your body will tell you what to do and not do. Trust yourself! And the very best of luck with your recovery. Sarah x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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