DawnS Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 I have experienced many changes in myself since sah, some of which are quite monumental (at least to me they are!). I was wondering if anyone else has noticed anything similar? If I was honest, some of the changes are so good that I have to say I prefer my life the way it is now. I'm not sure if some things are personality changes or just major shifts in perspective. I'd love to hear others' experiences or opinions? Firstly, I used to be rather an anxious person, bothered by what other people think. If someone nearby was in a mood, I would assume I had done something to cause it. These days, I notice the mood and think nothing of it. I used to get so very upset if I caused some road kill such as a rabbit that I may still be crying when arriving at work twelve miles later. This would be so bad, I'd beat myself up about it for a couple of days. A few weeks ago, I hit a rabbit and thought - oh, I've made an easy meal for some carrion eaters. a much more normal response I think, certainly less exhausting. I am no longer petrified of spiders and in fact can now sleep in a room where I know there is a large one lurking. I've even been known to pick one up and chuck it out the window. I am no longer terrified of the dentist, to the point where I have had lots of cosmetic work done which I've wanted for years but have been too afraid to be able to sit in the chair long enough. And my favourite - I can eat food as spicy as it can be made...yummm curry! Surely this one has to actually be a change in the brain? Spicy food has always caused me physical pain in my mouth. Why is it suddenly ok? There are many more, but I'll stop now as I could go on for pages. The general gist is that I have significantly less fear and anxiety now. Life is much more relaxing than it used to be and I see the funny side of things most of the time, what a relief! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 Hi Dawn, I agree, mostly I am happy, I do get a bit moody sometimes but I did before SAH. I am so happy to be here and and grateful I made it through the anni (touches head/wood and whistles) I was so pleased to see my Family again. Still not keen on spiders xx Love WinB143 xx xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryB Posted October 26, 2013 Share Posted October 26, 2013 "I have significantly less fear and anxiety now" me too. Boy the things you let slide off your back now are amazing. You sure do realize what is really important and what is not. If anything I let the important things go much longer than I should as I procrastinate or maybe am just less neurotic about getting things done in a timely manner. Except my bills I am still neurotic about paying them on time! I am happy for you Dawn! I know this has been a long time coming for you. MaryB Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Gill C Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 I do tend to stress less although I'm not completely 'cured'! I get a lot less anxious too but I still get anxious about changes of routine particularly if I have to something for the first time. I also tend to let most drama's go over my head as cannot be bothered with the hassle and most drama's I see (on Facebook) are pretty pointless in the grand scheme of things. I've given up trying to please all of the people all of the time, its just not possible. Dawn its a long journey to acceptance but I reckon with the help of BTG we are mostly there Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 I have a theory about this Ready? Our brain needed a clean out and all our silly bits we stored up have gone and we realise there is more to life than worrying about trivial rows etc. We can now stop worrying about trivia that happened to us in the past and start to live our life to the full. We are here and we survived against all odds. Smile and be happy when possible. Love WinB143 xx xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 I've always said if there's one thing out of all this its 'I like the me I am now' some people cringe at that but its true, so its nice to see you saying it too Dawn.. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
iola Posted October 27, 2013 Share Posted October 27, 2013 Well, my husband likes me better. I do not yell and scream any more. I was a big yeller before and very quick to respond. Not the case now. I am still adjusting to me. I do let so much go now and not as serious about my job. That I like. It takes time to get to know yourself again. Iola Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Teechur Posted October 28, 2013 Share Posted October 28, 2013 I dodged a Pancreatic Cancer bullet in 2003 and spent a year recovering from that, so I already had the "appreciate every moment and take a bite out of life" thing going on. I already appreciated my life, and I already took very good care of myself and never EVER took my health for granted. That taught me first and foremost to put my health and well being first. It also taught me not to sweat the small stuff and gave me a lot of zen. I came out of that a much nicer, better, and stronger person. I think that's part of the reason I am having a much harder time coming to terms with this situation. I "got" the message before and I was already taking such good care of myself. I did nothing to put my body in any situation that would make it likely for me to have any kind of a stroke. I was already zen, and kind, and never took any day for granted. But it did teach me a few things that I missed before. 1. It taught me to be more patient with people who might not move as fast as I'd like since now I don't move as fast as I'd like. 2. It gave me a deeper understanding for my students with information processing issues. 3. It has forced me to slow down even though I don't always like that. 4. It has forced me to ask for help more often, and I don't always like that. 5. It has probably taught me more humility than I like. I'm almost two years post, so I hope to the good Lord above I am not done healing and I also hope I'm still discovering the purpose because for someone who usually makes Pollyanna look like Debbie Downer, I can feel pretty dark at times! Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kpaggett Posted October 29, 2013 Share Posted October 29, 2013 What a mixed bag this recovery thing is. Yes! I can yell this and believe it with all my heart. I'm glad I had SAH. I love that I meditate every day. I love that I now do yoga and could care less about getting my cardio on and pumping iron. I love my poems now. I can sense other's emotional states even if they're trying to cover them up. I make really good decisions about the big stuff and don't care about deciding the little stuff. I belly laugh, literally, at myself all the time when I do something that is 'typical, just typical'. I can't lie about anything and don't accept others lies either...even social graceful ones. I love volunteering at an inpatient rehab to help people in a similar situation to my own. Not to help them rehab, but to just be a beacon in the chaos of it all. A ear that hears. I love living life...a different one...but a good life. ~Kris Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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