Tina Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Hi my name is Tina I am now at home recovering from a SAH I suffered in Dec 07. I had my aneurysm clipped successfully, but suffered servere nerve damage to the right side of my face effecting my right eye and could not smile. I am really please to say that four months later I can now smile , and my eye has fully opened, my hair is growing back. Beginning to look like me again. At the moment I am feeling quite low & frustrated as I have double vision, lack of balance and severe headaches and I get very tired. I have been told that I have to be patient as this can take at least a year to repair. After seven hours of life saving surgery, I know I am extremely lucky to be here, but just recently from being very positive and upbeat I have been feeling very low,tearful and anxious. It will be good to talk to anyone who has or does feel the same as me. Tina x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennissmithy Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Welcome Tina to this fabulous site I am suffering from emotional problems at the minute too and my SAH was 19 months ago. I went back to work 8 weeks after my SAH and then worked for about 8 months before being hit with headaches that I couldn't control and dizziness etc. I have just returned to work after a 5 month stint and now am struggling. This site has been such a blessing and I have 'met' so many supportive people and I am sure they will be as supportive for you. This is a wonderful place to be. Take care Laura xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 Hi Laura Thank you for replying to to me it is really good to hear from you, cant believe you went back to work so quickly,sorry you are still struggling, it just shows that you cant rush things as much as you would like to! I cannot work yet, have to wear sunglasses to even look at computer and take ages to type and makes my head thump. My husband Mike found this web site and it just helps knowing that other people know what you are going through and that it does get better. Take care Tinax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
tennissmithy Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Tina, I really regret going back so early and I think that had an impact on my health over the few months that I did work, I struggled but coped if you know what I mean. Then in September I did great for a month and then got struck down again. I have just gone back and am finding it hard. It is not so much the teaching, its everything else that comes with it and I'm just so tired and emotional that its ridiculous! I cried yesterday to the school nurse and then back to my class, i thought looking ok but not great and 3 children (5-6 year olds), 1 parent/ governor and my TA came and asked me why i'm i was crying I completely agree about the knowing others bit, I was so relieved to find this site. Hope Mike has been as supportive as my Simon because that makes things slightly easier too. Take care Laura xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 17, 2008 Author Share Posted April 17, 2008 Hi Laura Mike has been amazing, very supportive in every way, we are very lucky having such good men in our lives . I am off to bed now, well past my bedtime these days!!! Would love to talk again soon. Take care TinaX Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted April 17, 2008 Share Posted April 17, 2008 Hi Tina Welcome to site I also was clipped and lost the vision in my left eye for a couple of months its now almost perfect again. I think that its natural to feel down and depressed as for the first couple of months you're just so glad to be here I don't think you realise the impact it has on your life. It does get better very gradually but there's always ups and downs especially if you overdo things. Its a wonderful site and has really helped me and the advice and friendship offered by all is great. Look forward to hearing more from you. Janet x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Janet Thank you for replying, It has made me feel better already to know it is normal the way i am feeling! Like you say i think what happened to me is only just sinking in. I am 45 work for myself and have always been healthy and rushing around like a headless chicken,just dont know where it came from, but has made me stop and re stock my life. Cant tell you how grateful i am to still be here as it was very touch and go in hospital. My consultant was amazing, as were the nursing staff Atkinson Morley Tooting. Find things frustrating, because normally i am very organised and in control, now i cant remember one thing one minute to the next! The severe tiredness and headaches and double vision i know are nothing for my life, but hard trying to deal just with everyday life. Hope to hear from you again soon. Take care, Tinaxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Tina and welcome to the website! Like Janet, I also had the nerve palsy to my right eye and to be honest, even though it's slowly improved, it still gives me problems and at times I still get some nerve pain through it. I think the good news is, that recovery doesn't seem to have a timetable and many of us see improvement for many years after the SAH...... Like yourself, I suffer from balance problems, I'm not sure whether that's something to do with the eyesight issue, but when I hit a period of fatigue, like I have done this week, the dizziness is a lot worse and I find that my eyesight deteriorates and becomes even more sensitive to bright light. I still have issues with walking, especially during these spells. For me personally, the balance issues have been the worse thing to endure..... However, on a brighter note, things do improve with time and I think that we also learn to re-adjust our lives to who we are now ...... I can still get pretty frustrated though, when I take a backward step, but I try to accept it,as I know that I'll eventually move forward again. I feel that keeping positive is the key to good mental health, that's not to say that you won't get frustrated ..... but hopefully you'll find some support and friendship from this site and normally if you ask a question, there will always be another member that's probably going through the same or has come out the other side.....they're a good bunch.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Karen How nice to share with others that are experiencing the same. I am very light sensitive, my balance is effected by motion and double vision as you know is very strange. I am adapting and keeping positive, just been low and tearful this last month, dont know why, think everything hitting home, frustration coming out, because I know I have to be patient. Good thing is it takes ages to type this and with many mistakes!!! But I am smiling today, because of you and others that have replied to me. Thank you for being there and caring. Take care Hope to chat again soon Tinaxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Holly Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi ya Tina, You will find the people on this site very friendly indeed. Everyone one on here helps each other in one way or another. We all sympathise with how you are feeling just now, we've all gone through something very similiar. This is why this site is a God send. I have always thought so, believe me. I may not be on the site everyday, but I know I can "pop in" any time, so do that. I found it helped me to go from strength to strength. When you leave hospital there isn't much info they give you, but on here, we've all been throught it so we know what we are talking about. I returned to work 5 months after my SAH. I went on a phased return. I began work again in January and I am only now full time, April. It is best not to rush anything, as it pays dividends in the end, this has worked for me. Welcome to the friendly family bunch, Tina. Much hugs, H xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Holly, Really good to hear from you thanks for your kind words. Fantastic you are back to work, well done you . I will take on board your advice and take it slowly. I do need to get back to work for financial reasons, but know i cant rush it which i do find very frustrating. I will pop in as you do for a chat. Really nice to know you are there, take care hope to talk soon. Tina xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bogbrush Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Tina and welcome to behindthegray. I returned to work too soon (3.5 months) and took a step back in my recovery. I was also lucky to have an understanding employer who allowed me to ease back in gently. Don't rush back to work. It won't do you any good in the long run. Do what's right for YOU as only you know how you feel. Regards Keith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Vivien Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hello and Welcome Tina ( I don't write much but lurk on the site most days, I have trouble between reading the posts and replying I forget what I want to type ) Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Keith Thankyou for replying.I know I cant rush back to work and really appreciate your words. Get so exhausted doing the smallest of things! Just feel guilty even though I could do nothing to stop it from happening. My husband Mike has been wonderful, so supportive I am very lucky. Hope to hear from you again soon, Tinax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Vivien Thank you for replying, I have trouble with my short term memory too!! Really frustrating. The web site is wonderful! Hope to hear from you again soon. Take care Tinax Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
bogbrush Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Tina I think many of us feel guilty in the early weeks and months following SAH: guilty that we survived where many did not, guilty that others have to do things for us because we cannot do them ourselves, and guilty that we should be working, especially on the good days. My own guilt was mainly to do with work and whether they thought I was really that ill that I couldn't be there. When I had a good day or two, I often thought I should be at work and that I was letting people down by not being there, but I now realise that the guilt was unfounded. If I'd gone to work, I would have probably made myself more ill and ended up back home ... or worse. These feelings do ease with time, but it's often difficult for others to understand how we feel, as there is little or no visible signs of how we really feel inside. Regards Keith Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Keith You just said exactly how I feel. Because now I more or less look back to normal, my right eye sometimes looks a bit starey , but people think Im back to normal. They dont realize I have double vision, balance problems and bad headaches and of course the fatigue. I put on a brave face always positive, when anyone says 'how are you?' I reply I am fine thanks and smile. They dont want to hear 'Actually I feel quite down and tearful and dont know why' I dont mean to bore you either, but nice to get off my chest. Do you think my emotions are like this as someone else said because it is now all hitting me, or just brain trauma? I can be quite hard on myself, I get cross I cant do things for myself. I have always been independant,driven and organised, now I crumble if I have to try and fill out a form and need help. Maybe I dont like having to ask for help all the time, actually I know I dont !!! Things will get better I know, just reading what you and others are and have gone through helps so much. Thank you for taking the time to reply. Take care Tina xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Tina welcome to the site it is great here always someone to offer help and advice I had a sah in sept 02 an aneurysm clipped jan 03 I have since had 2 children who are both adorable. Jess.xxx Look forward to getting to know you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Tina, Your emotions will be all over the place ..... you've had a brain injury and you've been pretty poorly, so be kind to yourself and allow yourself the time to heal Youll also need to time to adjust to the physical things that are going on with your body and things like balance problems and double vision do impair you ..... they're very hard to get used to and very frustrating to live with . You have to have experienced them to be able to understand, as it affects everything that you do. They will improve and you need to keep as positive as possible .... keeping positive isn't always easy and that's why it's good to talk and exchange experiences.....xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Jess Thanks for replying. I too have two children,but grown up, Christopher, he is 20 and Sammy she is 18 ! I missed my daughters 18th because i was in hospital, never mind her 21st will come round soon enough. How old are your two? Mine both work, time just flies. My husband Mike has four kids, also quite grown up. Emma 21, David 19 Rachel 16 and last but not least Kathryn 12. When we all get together it is a mad house but really nice as the kids all get on well. A neighbour is having a 40th bash this saturday, and as it is only over the road thought we might pop over, can have a nap in the afternoon to re charge batteries! Hope you have good weekend Take care Tinaxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Karen Thanks, it is good to hear I am not going mad!!! I cant believe that so many people have suffered SAH. I just keep hearing more and more, I wonder if it is the stressful world we live in. I was trying to find a local support group, but there is not one at the moment which is a shame. Really glad my husband Mike found your web site. Hope you have a lovely weekend, take care Tinaxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Tina Garry is 4 he is the one they wanted me to get rid of as I was pregnant so soon but he was my first and really wanted and Shayne is nearly 8 months. Jess.xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 18, 2008 Author Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Jess You must have you hands full, I remember it well. Enjoy it , they grow up so quickly. Both mine were fertility babies and both 6 weeks early. Tried 5 years before I fell with my son, went into early labour at 24 weeks but managed to hang on another 10 weeks when he was born. My daughter was more straight forward, but still wanted out early!! I had a 4lb 5ozs and 5lb. Take care Tinaxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest yasmin Posted April 18, 2008 Share Posted April 18, 2008 Hi Tina And welcome I told you that this was a great website and now you have joined you can see for yourself, there are loads of us out there so you no longer need to feel alone, hope you are feeling a bit better speak soon lots of love yasmin xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted April 19, 2008 Author Share Posted April 19, 2008 Hi Yasmin Thank you Yes you were right! I feel so much better, everyone has been lovely. So nice to know we are not alone and know how we are feeling and what we are going through. Hope you have a great weekend, Take care Lots of love Tina xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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