Jump to content

Spending


Guest kdenardo
 Share

Recommended Posts

Guest kdenardo

I am very thankful for all my friends here, and decided to come to you for assistance. Has anyone else had my problem, and if so, how do I fix it? I am realizing now that I am using our credit cards to extreme for purchases we don't need. Keeping a budget had never been a problem, but now am finding reasons to purchase petty things and not telling my husband. The first month he realized my excessive spending he took my credit card away, but the next month I just wrote down the numbers and spent anyway. This is causing horrible turmoil in my home, and I don't know why I am doing this. This seems like an odd thing to me because spending on items we needed was just done, but I am spending on things that are so trivial it is depressing. I hope this doesn't sound like a child just pouting over a toy, this is very real to me, and I am unsure how to move forward. My husband feels betrayed by this, which he should, but I have no answers to give but "I don't know". Any help or insight would be greatly appreciated. Thank you all for your time. I am sorry, second time I have edited. This isn't the person I was or want to be, I guess I am confused as to why I am doing this and how can I stop. I'm sorry rambling. If you can give me some I don't know, something it would help me out a lot.

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi,

Sorry to hear you are in a bit of a pickle. I had similar trouble when I was at home all day sick and purchased a few cheap bits online from amazon/ ebay etc but nothing big or pricey.

Why don't you get rid of all your credit cards so the temptation is not there? That is what we did generally when we realised that we needed to tighten the belt so to speak. If they weren't there we couldn't spend on them!

I don't really know what else to say to help, hopefully others will have some thoughts though. I know different parts of the brain control different things and your compulsive behaviour issues could be in that part of the brain where your SAH was.

I don't know but hope i help.

Love and hugs

Laura

xx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Kelly

I know exactly how you feel with regard to spending money on things you neither want or need. In the first 6 months after my SAH I too had a terrible compulsion to just buy for the sake of buying. Your husband is right to take your card away for the time being.

I found that I had to remove all my cards from my purse altogether and have since cut up quite a few as I still don't 100% trust myself with them. I also try not to go into town unless I really need to buy something which also removes the urge to binge buy.

I never had a problem with with this sort of behaviour prior to my SAH so can only imagine that it has been triggered by the SAH but it is getting easier to resist as time goes by.

Janet x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Kelly :D

Bless you...it is so easy to just get out that card and spend.....especially when you are stuck in at home and feeling under the weather and fed up! I must admit have been very tempted to buy the odd thing....but have not....cant really help apart from get rid of the cards and lose the numbers in the shredder....remove all temptation. I am sure it will all get better in time as the others have said. Take care Love Tinaxx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi Kelly

I read Tme out of Mind, the book by Jane Lapotaire, last year. I don't know if you know the book but it's an autobiographical account of her SAH. I am sure there was a mention in it of her shopping more for clothes after her SAH as if she felt she had to validate the fact she was still alive - I'm not sure but it does ring a bell. And also she enjoyed the social contact with people in shops.

I think I'm prone to treating myself a bit more as a way of comforting myself due to all my ongoing "things that are not quite right". I agree that cutting up cards is the way to go and maybe pay for everything with cash as it makes you realise how much you are spending. Any maybe write down everything you spend. Perhaps you could set aside an affordable sum to treat yourself now and again.

If you think you are spending not for comfort but due to lack of impulse control it may be worth mentioning it to your GP for it to be looked at further.

Sorry I can't be of more help on this.

Let us know how you go.

very best wishes

Anne x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

I was just going to say that, mentioned it to your GP/consultant because it sounds like something thats come along with the SAH :roll:

Ideally I'd love to do that but knowing that I dont remember worried me more I guess.....

take care

Louise.x

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Hi there

I read somewhere that an SAH can bring on symptoms of OCD - which compulsive shopping would fall under. It makes us more susceptible to addiction too - again which shopping would and does fall under.

I know how you feel hun, I also try not to take my cards with me if I don't need to and I've cut up my credit card.

Take care

Sami xxx

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Guest ElaineW

I feel for you - so to try and make you laugh first my husband thinks I spend too much money all the time and have not even gone through what any of you poor guys have so if I had I think I would be declared bankrupt by now!!!!!!! He says I am very expensive. But on a serious note I don't know much about this sort of thing but would post traumatic stress be a possibility and causing your obsession/impulsive spending sprees, might be worth thinking about. I must admit that since my mum's SAH I am even worse now and have the feeling "that life is too short" so maybe that is the case with you. Do you work or have lots of apare time on your hands - how about taking up a hobby - I love card making which stops me from going out - though it is expensive to start up.

Elaine

Link to comment
Share on other sites

HI KELLY

AFTER MY EVENT MY HUSBAND STARTED SPENDING. BEFOR I TOOK CARE OF OUR BOOLS AND WE LIVED ON A PRETTY STRICKED BUDGET, BUT AFTER HE SAID LIFE WAS TO SHORT AND WE WERE NOT GOING TO TELL OURSELVES NO ANY MORE. AND MY HOW HE HAS OVER DONE IT... :(

LOVE HUGS EVELYN :mrgreen:

Link to comment
Share on other sites

Join the conversation

You can post now and register later. If you have an account, sign in now to post with your account.
Note: Your post will require moderator approval before it will be visible.

Guest
Reply to this topic...

×   Pasted as rich text.   Restore formatting

  Only 75 emoji are allowed.

×   Your link has been automatically embedded.   Display as a link instead

×   Your previous content has been restored.   Clear editor

×   You cannot paste images directly. Upload or insert images from URL.

 Share

×
×
  • Create New...