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Vicky MA

Vicky

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Hi everyone

I had a suberachnoid haemorrhage on 15 May. I was lying in bed and I suddenly felt paralysed from the neck down.

 

I live alone and it was terrifying. I either passed out or I've lost my memory because the next thing I remember was waking up in hospital the next morning. I'd been sick, knocked things over and my legs and knees were covered in blood and bruises.

 

Apparently I'd knocked on my neighbours door at 4am and he called an ambulance. I had an operation to clip the bleed four days later and spent three weeks in hospital.

 

Physically I feel ok now but I'm really, really struggling mentally and emotionally. I'm crying a lot, having nightmares, struggling to sleep and I hate being alone now. I lost my work then my home because of covid 19, and now staying with family. I get very frightened if I'm on my own or if I have to go outside.

 

I feel completely alone because it's so hard to talk to people about it. My family keep quizzing me for details and it's Very traumatic to talk about it to them. I am about to receive some counselling service from the hospital as I have been diagnosed with PTSD.

I'd appreciate some help and support from anyone on here

thankyou

Vicky

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Hi Vicky

 

Warm welcome to the site, so glad that you found us.

 

Your not alone in feeling that you are alone in this, Your family are quizzing you because they dont understand what's happened and only way to find out how you are, or how your feeling is to talk about it...  I was going to sugges Gp for councelling, but see your about to receive, Councelling really does help honest take all the councelling they offer you...

 

You'll find this site very helpful, look forward to hearing more from you...

 

take care, stay-safe.

 

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Hey Vicky,

 

I’m sorry you are having to deal with this. But glad you found this site! It has been a huge help to me through my recovery. You mentioned having difficulty talking about it with people close to you. I had the same issue, first finding my words was a struggle, then realizing they just weren’t capable of getting it. Show them this site. There are likely answers to all their questions on here. I found that letting them read “A letter to my brain” helpful. Also the book “A Dented Image” is good. You should look at those as well.

 

Good luck, and be kind to yourself!

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Hi Vicky,

 

I am also so happy you found this site, it proved to be very helpful for me.  Vicky I am so very sorry what happened to you, you are smart  seeking counseling.  

 

Vicky I had my SAH 3 years ago which was followed by severe vasospasm...I had returned home from my SAH and a day later my vasospasm episode occurred...when it did I was alone, I was able to call for help on the phone but then remember nothing...things were scattered about my house and my family told me about what I was saying and doing at the hospital (all of which I remember nothing)...it was very hard for me to accept all of it, some of it seemed not like me at all.

 

I kept asking questions after it happened and my family keep asking me questions...it was difficult and I did seek counseling, but I waited 2 years, with the feeling PTSD was affecting me...I wish I had gone sooner.

 

This site has been so helpful to me as so many of us have experienced not your exact situation but each of us has had many things happen to us.  

 

Time has been my biggest friend...you are still not far away from your event...time is so helpful.

 

Be very patient and kind to yourself and try and see that your loved ones really don't understand.  They would learn tons if they come to this site.

 

I wish you well as you continue to recover.

xx Jean

 

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Hello Vicky,

 

So good that you found this site.  Explore all the topics and you will see how many of us share similar issues and how, by sharing, we've helped each other.

 

By all means don't wait to get counselling because PTSD and anxiety are common. Explain to loved ones that reliving the event causes massive anxiety and discomfort.

 

Eat healthy. Drink lots of water. Be kind to yourself. Come here often to learn, to vent, to laugh, to cry. We're all in this together.

 

Colleen

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Hi Vicky, 

 

Sorry to hear that you have been through such a hard time and are struggling. I remember very well the feeling of panic and fear. I used to not want to be on my own and used to speak to a friend who felt exactly the same. She was able to ask a friend to stay with her through the worst of it and I am lucky to have a very large family and was not alone for a while, so I do feel for you having to do it alone. 

 

What I would say is, I genuinely did not think I would ever be ok alone again or going out alone but as time passed those things came more naturally and the fear stopped making me change how I live my life. It does take time. 

 

I made 2 friends who had their bleed at the same time on a Facebook group (we vented to each other about all our feelings)  and came on here for advice and guidance. Between those things it helped me cope through the worse. 

 

If you can get counselling or similar definitely take it and remind yourself how early it is and its one day at a time. 

 

Take care

Charlotte 

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