SarahLou

Hi Mags, Sorry to hear you won't be at the meeting but there'll be other meetings. Good for you for doing the cycle ride, yes, it would be a shame to not continue to do something that's so close to your heart. Your'll be fine, just go careful, I'm sure you can judge your limits now. No, I've not heard anything from the other Sarah, was hoping she'd join here and / or the Wessex site. I think all the neck creaks/pains etc are due to the head traumas we've been through, after all we have had our brains re-arranged! Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hello dear Mags, Yes, I get the creaking noises in my neck a lot, also achey shoulders too. Yes, it feels like a good massage would be heaven! I also still get tender feelings on the left side of my head (my SAH side) it's hard to describe the feeling, it's a bit like a dead arm feeling but in my head! I'll hold my head as if trying to protect it, if that makes sense. I still get a lot of head pains and temple pressure, like two fingers are pressing into the side of my head permanently. Pains are also a lot worse in this cold weather. I don't get any of the other symptoms you've said about. Hope to see you at the next neuro support group in February. Big hugs to you, take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hi Danny, Welcome to BTG. You've had a tough time of things, glad you've found us. This site has been a godsend to me, given me advice, strength and lots of laughter! Take care and keep smiling, SL Xx

Hello Ron, I'm sorry to hear that you're having such a tough time of things at the moment. It can be a very tough lonely road to recovery, but we're all here to gain strength from eachother. I know how you feel with the lack of sleep and the tinnitus. I suffer bad with it too and it's been constant. Sometimes I could scream with frustration, kick and rant. People have said to me 'your'll learn to live with it'. Oh. Really. Has your gp referred you to ENT ? I was referred quite early on. I have had some hearing loss between to two tests they did. I'm having an MRI scan to check things out, on 22nd December, not looking forward to that but I just want it over and done with now. I also know how you feel with the way things are said to our loved ones. It's such a frustration and some painful things have been said. The look on thier faces cuts me to my soul. I've now learnt to take time out, have 'me' time, go for a walk or just hide somewhere for a bit. It does help, it helps us all. So does talking to them about it, giving eachother honesty of how we feel. Anyway, I'm feeling sleepy now, maybe I'll be lucky enough to catch up on some much needed sleep. Take care of yourself Ron, be kind to yourself, have patience. Your'll get there. Keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hi David, I was wondering how your wife was doing. I know how you feel having a partner that's not in good health themselves. Sometimes I get so wrapped up in my own world I forget about his, and that hurts, makes me feel like a rubbish wife. So, did you change your career, do something completely different? How did you know what to do? I expect that sounds like a stupid question but right now I just don't know what to do career wise. I'm not even back to doing the normal hrs I did before SAH yet, I'm doing about half of what I just to. Yes, I think you should put your foot down with the meds. I know exactly how you feel about just wanting pain relief, you'd think it would be easy, but oh no, for me I ended up having to pretty much just learn to live with it. I'm so limited on what I can take, the stronger stuff I do have rarely comes out of the cupboard unless I'm really struggling, because the side effects of them aren't great. Make sure you do something everyday that makes you smile, puddle jumping, hill rolling, dance around your house! Anything. Good luck with your next appointment. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi David, It's good to hear you think you've worked out what's causing the noise. Fingers crossed it stops. I was also put on a few medications that I took myself off of. I do remember that my head did make all kinds of noises in early recovery, clicking , creaking and an itchiness that would drive me mad! All part of the healing. Now it's only slight things and not so often. Here's hoping the noises stop in your head, hey, it coulda been worse, coulda been voices!! Take care, SarahLou Xx

Good morning David, Thank you for your kind words. Work is going well, I'm now doing 3x 4hr shifts. Although I enjoy being back at work is it hard going, what with the extra work hrs, running the house etc. Sometimes I get totally drained, can't think straight. I still get bad temple pressure and head pains. I've got an MRI on the 22nd, so fingers crossed alls ok. I've done my job for many yrs but something just doesn't feel right. I have a gut feeling that in my life there are different paths to take. I've just not found that path yet. Does that make sense or does it sound like I'm talking a load of rubbish!!?? How's things with you? I hope you're doing ok. Take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hello Ann, Happy first anni-versary for yesterday. We may not be who we once were but hey we're still here kicking and fighting! I hope that you did something special to celebrate your day. Take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hi Bill, I love reading your posts, they're so well written. You're such an inspiration, it's amazing how you've turned your life around. Turned the negatives into positives. I hope that one day I will find what I'm searching for. There is a reason why I'm still here, I just haven't discovered it yet. Take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hi Michelle, It's great that you've emailed the school, that you've started to take charge in getting some important issues sorted. Hey.. You don't havta hide crazy from us, a lil bit of crazy is good! Pm/call/txt me anytime. Big hugs to you. Take care, SL Xx and an extra Xx

Hello Rachel, Gosh wow I know how you feel! I'm on my 7th week of phased return to work. I now do 3x 4hr shifts. I love having this bit of 'normal' back but it's tough going mentally and physically. By the time I finish at 2pm I'm getting pretty zapped, the bus journey home can be tough, noisy kids etc. Since 6mths after my op I've been suffering with tinnitus and I also get that whooshing noise in my right side. It does at times drive me insane and seems very very loud. I was referred to ENT about it and am waiting to have an MRI to check things are all ok. Take it easy with your return to work, have patience with yourself. Take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hello Robert, It's lovely to hear from you, I'm glad it all went well. Big hugs to you. Take care, SL Xx

Hi Clayton, I just wanna say thanks for giving me a much needed giggle!! The bit about you drowning in the swimming part before even getting to the run and ride. I feel half dead even thinking about that! I hope things go ok with your diabetic doctor. It's great to hear you're walking and getting a lil bit of 'normal' back. Your'll get there, just be patient and take things slow. I remember being exhausted just walking down the road, now I'm doing a good few miles every day. I've just gotta get back to that skipping malarky I started a while back, leaves me star fish style flat out on the floor gasping for breath but I love it really!! Take care hun and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hello David, My heart goes out to you both. I'm so sorry to hear of your wifes cancer. On top of your SAH it must feel like the world is against you. I have some understanding of what you're going through. Nearly nine years ago my hub was diagnosed with a critical illness, end stage renal failure. The emotions and feelings we went through can't be put into words. I was angry, so so angry with the whole world. My hub never once, and still hasn't to this day complained. He got ill, very very ill and we were told to say our goodbyes. But somehow from somewhere he found the strength to fight. Five years ago he had a kidney transplant (from me) and he's doing ok now. We live each day as it comes because we never know how long that kidney will last. It's already more than half way through it's 'expected' life. As a family we went through some very tough journeys. We got great support, were told to treat his change in life as a bereavement. Things for us were getting back on track when in august last year our world got rocked by my SAH. Tables turned and I was the one fighting for my life. Sometimes you really just think, that's it, that's enough, we can't take any more. It's ok to be angry, to want to kick out at the world. Life is unfair. Really unfair. For us I think it's made us all stronger, made us realise what's important in life. Please, as others have said, get some proper professional help. Keep talking to one another, don't shut things out or try to hide your feelings. Have big cuddles and break your hearts sobbing if that's what you want to do. You will find strength to get through this together. I wish you both luck in your journeys. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hello Anna, I've only been on this site since July so I've only just read your story. It's heart breaking. I wish that I could say something that would help to ease your pain. For me the loss of loved ones is like loosing a piece of a jigsaw puzzle, the pieces left don't quite fit properly together. Look up to the stars at night and send your love to your mum through them. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Vtxrider, Welcome to BTG. I can understand how you feel, we all can, but please, please go easy on yourself. Give yourself time to heal, have patience and understanding with yourself. As Gill said, please do read 'a letter from your brain' , that piece of writing gives me such strength. You will get back to doing the things that your heart and soul want and need to do, just not right now, but you will get there. I wish you well with your recovery. Take care and keep smiling, SL Xx

Hello Anne, Happy 4th anniversary. You enjoy as many strawberries as you want! I'm pleased for you that you've got a piece of your old self back. It's those little things that mean the world to us. Take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hello Mark, Welcome to BTG. Your post has bought tears to my eyes. Cherish the good memories you have of your Mum. As others have said, please remember that the SAH wasn't your Mums fault,we're all living proof on here that it can happen to anyone. I send my love and big hugs to you and your family. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Oh dear Win you do make me laff! I've missed you! I wonder if they make those scanners for 'extra wide load' so I can fit in one!! SL Xx

Hi Shirls, I've just read your post as I've just got home from work. I'm feeling rather zonked out but I wanted to reply. I know exactly how you feel as I am due an MRI soon. It should have been done last Wednesday, if you read back on the posts your'll see what happened! I feel the same as you, but the advise and support I've had from the guys on here has been fantastic. We're all here for eachother. I wish you good luck with your up coming appointments. I'd better go as my vision is now playing up and I'm finding it hard to concentrate. Big hugs to you. Take care and keep smiling, SL Xx

Hi Rachel, Welcome to BTG, this site has been a god send to me. A light at the end of a very dark tunnel. It's full of advice, support and understanding. Reading your latest post is like reading my own thoughts. I still feel the same with crowds and busy shops etc but it has got a little easier over time. As I say to everyone.. Read 'a letter from your brain' in inspiration on the home page. I still draw strength from that piece of writing. As you say yourself, it's all about taking one day at a time. For me it took a while to accept I'd never be the person I once was. Some times resentment does come through and I kick out at the world for a bit but I think that's normal, we go through such a range of emotions. Take things slowly, give yourself patience and understanding. It's great that your work are so understanding. I'm 5wks into my phased return to work. I'm enjoying being back, getting that little piece of 'normal' back, but it is hard work. I had clipping after my SAH in August 2010, it's been at times a very lonely road to recovery but one that has been made much easier by this wonderful site. I wish you well with your recovery. Oh yeh... Drink plenty of water, it really does help with the headaches. Take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hello Mike, Welcome to this wonderful site. It's been a god send to me. The H Plan is a good diet, I lost about a week AND a stone, oooh get me!! Shame I've put it back on though! Your post bought a tear to my eye and it made me laugh, very well written. As others have said, take time to recover and have patience with yourself. Read ' a letter from your brain ' on the home page, it's a fantastic bit of writing. I draw strength from it often. I wish you well with your recovery. Take care and keep smiling, SarahLou Xx

Hello Gina, Thank you for taking the time to let us know how Theresa is getting on. Please pass on our love and some big hugs. Sounds like you're all doing a great job in supporting her. Well done all of you. Take care of you, yours and each other. Remember that your strength will be her strength. Best wishes, SL Xx

Ahh Sarah, it's not too late in the day to do something. Even if it's popping out somewhere for a coffee and piece of cake. Try to find something special to do to mark your day. You can't stop your mind returning to memories. Remember... "The wounds I have can heal and although the scars, whether they are visible or hidden, will always be there, they give me protection from further damage and remind me that I have healed." I'm sending you big hugs. SL Xx

Hi Shirls, I know how you feel. I'll quite often struggle with my words, can't get the words out that I can see clearly in my head, if that makes sense! It's worse when I'm tired, or in stressful situations. My family and friends are fine, they understand. It's harder when I'm at work or shopping, on the phone to strangers etc. I find myself explaining to people what's happened, ask them to bare with me while I find my words. It's a tough thing to get used to but it's a part of me now. I hope your son and family become more understanding, maybe they could have a look at this site. Take care, SarahLou Xx