SarahLou

Hi Sandi, Yes, I get whooshing noises in my right ear (SAH was left side) and I have tinnitus. I was referred to ENT in June, saw them again a couple of weeks back and they want me to have another brain scan. Waiting to hear about that. Best to see your gp and get things checked. Take care, SL Xx

Hi Sandi, As Louise says, well done you for getting as far as you have. You're doing brilliantly. Reading how you're getting on with your return to work brings me mixed emotions, I read about your days and your feelings and I wonder how things will go for my return to work, how will I feel if I can't do the job I love and have done for 20yrs. It's so so hard to accept we are not, and will never be, the person we were before SAH. Yes, it is a rollercoaster journey. One that gives you such a range of emotions some that I personally can't even find words for. You really really are doing so well, I wish you wouldnt be so hard on yourself. I truly believe it's all about grieving for what you once had, finding that acceptance of who you are now. Personally I prefer the new me, and I really hope I continue with those thoughts, that my return to work is a positive thing. I pray I can do it, I know I'll face very dark times if I can't. I'm sending you big hugs dear Sandi, keep smiling. You've come a long way, and there's more to come yet. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hello Painter, I'm also 14 months on from SAH, I also had clipping. I don't have the phycical limitations with any limb but I do know exactly how you feel with the fatigue. It went through a stage where I was having more bad days than good but has slowly turned the other way around. However I find when I do too much I hit a wall with fatigue, it's like my brain just shuts down and says 'no, I've had enough, I need rest'. I've had to learn to listen to my body, I know that if I've done a lot one day then I'll need proper rest time the next day or things just catch up with me and I can't cope. This Wednesday and Thursday I had a lot going on, come yesterday afternoon my head was throbbing, I felt tired beyond words, struggled to put a sentence together. I know it's really hard but you have to have patience and understanding with yourself. Your mind, body and soul have been through so much. But you're here, you're fighting! Have you read 'a letter from your brain' on the home page in inspiration? That piece of writing made me look at things very differently. Remember what things were like in your early recovery, I'm sure you've come a long way since then. Do your family and friends know how you feel? Have you talked to your gp? Gosh, so many questions, sorry! I hope that you find that ray of light to brighten your day. You've come this far, continue to fight to find something to cherish in every day. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Mollynjosie, Are there no other type of scans available that are safer to have? Does it have to be angio? I know of someone through someone who was in the same ish position you are and she has decided not to go ahead. I really wish she would join this site, and go to our local support groups but I get told 'she's fine, she's coping well'. Get strength from those around you, as their strength will become yours. Take care, SL Xx

Hello Mollynjosie, As others have said, it seems like you and your family need to talk in person with your neuro team. A tough choice for you to make either way. You're in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, SL Xx

Hi Gaynor, I didn't drink much alcohol before I got ill (that's in the long gone younger days!) but my fave drink to have now and again was archers and lemonade. I've still an open bottle in the cupboard. I've not had any alcohol drink since my SAH in august 2010, to be perfectly honest my head gives me enough pains without having a hangover added. I do know that they say alcohol will effect you worse than how it did before SAH. I drink tea and occasional latte when I get the chance (my bit of heaven) but I don't have fizzy drinks and things like that. I stick mainly to my water as I find it really does help with the headaches and pressure pains. Oh well, off I go to fill up another bottle of water! If you have the bevvies, enjoy, and I hope they don't cause you a too bad hangover! Take care, SL Xx

Hello Ryan, Welcome to BTG. Yes, it does get better but it does take time. The road to recovery is a bit different for us all so you have to listen to your body and brain, rest when they're telling you to! You need to give yourself plenty of rest to heal, you're still in early days of recovery yet. Drink plenty of water, that really will help with the headaches. The feeling of uncertainty and fear is very common and normal, have you talked to your doctor about your feelings? Close family and friends? It's so easy to bottle things up, to plod on and pretend everything is ok but in the end it won't help your recovery. BTG has been a god send to me, your'll find lots of advice here,your'll make good friendships and have a good giggle too! I wish you well with your recovery. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hello Jan, Like others, I'm sorry to hear that neither of you have any medical answers yet. Good luck to him with the lumber puncture, let's hope it gives the answers needed. Happy 33rd Anniversary, you can talk about plans for next years anniversary while he has to lay flat and still after the test! You're both in my thoughts and prayers. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hello Zoe, It's good to hear that you're all still on speaking terms, fingers crossed it stays that way as it'll no doubt make things easier for everyone, especially because and with the kiddies. 1st of October eh, that's not far away, how are you feeling? I hope that once things have settled that Rich can move forward in his recovery. Good luck to you with everything, living back with parents, moving on to finding your own place etc. Try to focus on the lil ray of light that peeps through the clouds. Take care hun, SarahLou Xx

Hi JellyB, I know how you feel,it's a strange kinda feeling, hard to find words for to explain. I felt a bit adrift. It's a major thing to go through yet I felt kind of left to get on with things. Don't get me wrong Lesley has been a god send to me, always there to speak to whenever needed. However, I've drawn most of my strength from this site with other peoples advice and stories. As Gill says, the Wessex support group was really good and I'll be going to the next one in November. It's such a long mental and physical journey of recovery, one that for me has been very lonely at times. Only people who've been through what we've been through can truly understand. Hope to meet you at the next Wessex meeting. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hello Sandi, You're doing so fab with your return to work but seem to be so busy on your days off, you're not resting enough. Is there anyone else who can help with some of these chores, or do they all really need to be crammed into your days off? I know they need to be done but I worry that you're doing way too much on days you should be resting more. You probably forgot what Peter was saying purely because your brain was in shut down mode. Great news about the rehab therapist though, I hope that really helps you. As I said, you're doing so well and should be very proud of yourself, please don't take offence dear Sandi but PLEASE slow down on your days off!! Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Liz, I just want to say that I think it's perfectly ok to feel the need to want to run away from it every year. Maybe that's the thing to do, every year go out for the day. Sounds very nice to me. The place I like 'running' to is a little village called Swanage which is about an hour and half drive away from where we live. I couldn't wait to go there asap after my SAH, I couldn't do the cliff top walks that I cherish but just to be there and look out to sea, listening to all the sounds, was enough for me. It's a place very dear to my heart and soul. Gosh,sorry, I've rabbited on. You enjoy those anniversary days out! Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hello Juliette, I think it's natural to have a mixture of emotions on the run up to your anniversary. I know that I did. I celebrated it, had a lovely meal on the date it happened and then on the date of my op we celebrated with family and close friends. I wanted to do something special to mark the occasion as I'm so lucky to still be here, as we all are. I won't have a party every year but will always have a meal out to mark the anniversary, as we do with my hubs transplant anniversary date. You've been given the gift of life, cherish every day. Ride with all your different emotions, it's natural to feel as you do. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hello Gaynor, Welcome to BTG. Gosh.. I see that Sonia is mentioning that TWELTH month word.. Shhhh, or we'll get into trouble for giving new members bad habits!! I had my SAH just over a year ago, it's clipped, two inches behind my left eye. Like many others it's taken me a long time to accept things, I'm not going to be exactly as I was before my Annie but I'm actually quite happy with the new me,and how I view things and life in general a bit differently now. This site has been a god send to me, as it has for everyone. For me reading ' a letter from your brain ' on the home page in inspiration was my turning point. It made me take a step back and really look at things differently. Remember that the strength you get from others will be your strength. Listen to your body and rest when you need to. Oh and drink plenty of water, then a bit more water, oh and then more water after that! Also, when you have down days that's ok, let yourself ride with every emotion you go through, don't be too tough on yourself. I wish you well with your recovery. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Sandi, Wow, you're doing so well. I'm taking notes about a few things as I want to put them forwards as ideas when I get back to work. It seems the little walk around breaks are really helping you and it's tips like that that I'll talk to my manager about. I don't do an office job, I work in an opticians dispensing eye glasses, contact lenses and advising on laser eye surgery, but a lot of my work is computer based and I am worried how I will cope with that. I was hoping to get back for October but I can't see that happening yet. I have the extra pressure of worrying they won't keep my job open for much longer. Sorry.. I'm rabbiting. Again, thanks so much for starting this post Sandi. You're doing fab, keep at it, but don't push yourself too hard. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Jan, Gosh, wow, this must be quite a shock to you both. You're both in my thoughts and prayers. Please let us know how things go. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Hi Zoe, It broke my heart to hear that Richs parents didn't even mention their grand-children. I guess that all they can focus on right now is protecting and looking after their son. I know that you said you would walk away with nothing because you want what is best for Rich, while I fully understand this, and please believe me, I do, please please think very carefully about that. You have your childrens and your future to protect. I wish you well with everything hun. I'm sending big hugs. SarahLou Xx

Hi Sandi, Enjoy your 3 days off, do something nice and relaxing, you've worked hard so deserve it. Thanks again for posting about your return to work, it's giving me a valuable insight to things I may go through when I return to work. SL Xx

Hi Sandi, How are things with you today? I hope you're ok and not pushing yourself that lil bit too hard. Hope you've managed to get some rest time. Mags, like you I'm taking on board all that Sandi posts about as I'm hoping to return to work oct/nov time. It's been a nightmare financially with me being off work this long, can't deny that. It'll take time to build up my hours, I know that, but I'm hoping to get back to the 21 hrs a wk I used to work. It must be such added pressure knowing it's full time work you hope to aim for. I also worry if I will be able to do my job, will they keep me on, I guess only time will tell. SarahLou Xx

Hi Sandi, I think Michelle, is right, maybe you should take a small step back. It must have felt quite scary being in the mall and feeling like that. I get that too, was in a shoe shop with my daughter today and could start feeling that I'd done enough today, head pains started to get bad, couldnt get my words out properly etc. You're doing so well Sandi, but please don't over do things. Chill out for the rest of the day. SL Xx

Hi Zoe, I just want you to know you are not alone, you have all of us here. Time to put your children and yourself first. SarahLou Xx

Hello Mags, Welcome to BTG. I was also treated at the Wessex, my SAH was this time last year. I didn't get onto this site until recently-ish, it's been a true godsend to me. People who always listen, give advice, lift your spirits when you're feeling down and have a good giggle with along the way. For me at times my journey of recovery has been a very dark lonely place. Not any more. As Louise has said you're very early in your recovery, so get plenty of rest and drink lots and lots of water. I wish you well in your recovery and hope to hear more from you soon. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Oh bless you Win. I'm not back at work, not for a couple of months yet. I hope you're very proud of yourself with managing to get up those stairs. I remember crawling up our stairs in the early days of recovery. It was hard work but I was determined to do it by myself, very tiring to do, mentally and physically. I admire your strength and positive attitude to life. I hope that you get to climb those stairs again soon. Take care, SarahLou Xx

Oh Win, that's fab. Well done you. Now let's think of a lil sing song we can do...!! SarahLou Xx

Hi Sandi, You're doing so well with your return to work. So, you're hoping to go back to full time by November? That's not that far away. Your journey into work sounds lovely, in the right weather conditions. I was hoping to return to work in October but now I have this hernia to be sorted out it looks like my return to work may be delayed a little. I am already feeling a bit nervous about my return to work, just the effort and journey of getting there seem very daunting. Your thread will give me strength, you're doing so well. SarahLou Xx