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Feeling like * I've had it

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Sorry guys bad day today a good family friend committed suicide he was only 23 it was over " girl probs" why didn't he say something ****** hell t why

Then today I found out on another forum that people who have had sah are being diagnosed with post tuamatic syndrome may have spelt it wrong I just feel why me?? What did I do to deserve having a sah and the drs don't help they can't give me an answer my poor neurologist coped the brunt of my anger I feel like I don't want to continue anymore as my life sux I can't do the things I did before and the ****** memory loss ***** me is this normal or am I different I need answers and no one can help me

Edited by bogbrush
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Hi Mollynjosie,

I'm finding it hard to get these words out but wanted to reply to your message.

I'm so sorry to hear of the loss of your friend, you must have a rage of anger in you, they gave thieir life while you fight so hard for yours.

I can totally understand your 'why me' feelings, that's natural.

My family have been through so much over the yrs. After going to the docs with headaches and tiredness my hub was diagnosed with complete kidney failure. He got very illl very quickly, we were told at the hospital to say our goodbyes as all his major organs went into failure. But he found the strength and will to pull through. I always asked 'why us'?? I hated the whole world and everyone in it. He never complained once, through everything, not once and still never has. His attitude was 'why not me?' and he always thought of young children with illnesses with no chance. We've had some very rough journeys since then, including my SAH nearly a yr ago. I know that broke my hub just like his illness broke me. But you get through things, you find the strength and will to fight because every day is precious. Yes, theres lots of hurdles,yes it's harder than anyone can imagine. Those around you will give you strength, their strength will become yours.

Please take a big deep breath, take a step back and cherish what you do have. You have your life, a second chance.

You will make it. Stay strong, yet break your heart crying when you need to.

I'm sending you big hugs.

SarahLou Xx

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Hi there

your having a bad day, I think (ok am pretty sure) we all have times when we think why me! what did I do wrong to deserve this!!

think that form maybe Brain & Spine foundation where you saw that, why not get intouch with the Headway organization they're very good

I went through a stage of not wanting to go on BUT SO glad that I did because things do get better I managed to cope work along side my very bad memory problems, I aceppted the things that I can no longer do dont like it but hey Im here......you survived and that was the biggest challenged you faced the rest is easy.....

hope you feel more up beat soon, take care

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So sorry to hear about your friend. This is obviously one of the last things you need to be dealing with at present. Have you spoken to the doctor about depression? I do remember feeling like I'd rather not be here as life was just a long journey of one stressful thing after another. I was taken aback by how strongly I believed this to be true. I am certain the only thing holding me back from "sorting it myself!" was the thought of what that might do to my children. I spoke to the doctor and he gave me some fluoxetine. I no longer think that way and am so so grateful for that. It has truly made a difference for me. If you haven't already done this, please try it.

Take care

Sally x

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Hi Mollynjosie

So sorry to hear about your friend. He was obviously very ill to do what he did and it is very sad that he was not able to find someone to talk to who could help him overcome his issues. Sometimes it feels as if there is no-one there who will understand and be able to help.

Bad days affect us all. Highs and lows, and everything in-between.

If you are often feeling very low then it is best to speak to your GP as soon as possible and discuss how you are feeling. You may need some medication to help or you may need counselling to help talk through what has happened and help you work your way through it. You should be able to get some counselling sessions via your GP.

I had some counselling via my work and the lady I saw explained that I was suffering from Post Traumatic Stress. Once she told me that and I was able to look it up and read about it, it then helped me understand that I wasn't going mad, and that my feelings were valid and quite 'normal' after such a traumatic event.

I hope you find a way to work through your feelings.

Take care of you

Kel x

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Hi Samantha,

I'm so sorry for the loss of your young friend! It's such a shame that he was unable to seek help. We can never know what goes through one's mind when this happens. I've dealt with this several times in my life - my uncle took his own life many years ago, found out he had cancer that had metastisized throughout his whole body. He left a note for the family saying he didn't want them to have to suffer through his illness!!! Was heartbreaking for everyone. My neice has attempted suicide several times. I cleaned her apt. after her last attempt, which was 6 yrs. ago.

It is heartwrenching and maddening at the same time. Severe depression and mental illness that goes untreated can wreak havoc within one's mind.

I can relate to how you're feeling with things. I've had some very horrible times since my SAH as well and many times felt life was not worth living anymore. Anger, sadness, feeling worthless, why me? I'm no longer the person I once was - there are things that I can no longer do, and I've felt guilty for feeling sorry for myself as I know so many people who have suffered far worse than I! Yet I still have to deal with my own stuff.

The others have mentioned counseling and talking to your dr. about medication - good advice! It can help tremendously. I'm on anti-depressants and anti-anxiety meds and am so thankful there are medications to help me through all of this. I still have my down times, I'm still learning and working on "accepting" the new me (it's a process!) but I know now, things can and DO get better.

Hang in there, sweetie - it WILL get better! The people here on BTG have been my lifeline for over a year now. We're all here to help one another get through these tough times - we're here for you too, you are not alone!

Huge hugs,


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Read all the replies sent to you, take a step back and think ... think about you getting better every day.

Life is good...Have you got a family who love you?..if so give them a thought and what they have been through while you was ill.

Feel sad for youe friend ..say bye...then get better for your Families sake and yours.

Sorry about your friend it is sad, Keep head high and chin up xx


WinB143 x

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