paula m brown Posted June 4, 2012 Share Posted June 4, 2012 (edited) Hi all.My name is Paula and I had my SAH coiled on 30th April 2012 This was the worst day of my life so far, not that I remember a lot about it,( I took poorly on the Sunday and didnt wake till Wednesday in Oxford hospital )but I know that my lovely boys and my wonderful husband do. I seem to be making a brilliant recovery but I feel so guilty for putting my family through all that pain and worry. I have been desperate to talk to someone who has been through the same and fortunately found this site by accident. My after problems are numbness on my right side, headaches and fear of it happening again. One of my main concerns is returning to work as I dont think that my company are very understanding about long term sickness. I think that they will pay me for about 6 wks then I will go on to half pay. I cannot afford to do this so I am worried about returning too soon. I dont really understand any of the sick pay rules! One of my "faults" is accepting how serious my ilness is and taking it easy .Fortunately my hubbby is always around to remind me. Any advice on sick pay would be greatly appreciated Paula Edited June 4, 2012 by paula m brown Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Scoobs Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Hi Paula Welcome to the minefield for benifits I'm 5 months down the line an off to job centre tomorrow see if I can get DLA . If u have any savings over 16,000. U can't get a penny Government think a couple can live on 134.00 a wk My sick pay is 85.00 a week Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Whatever happens Paula don't rush back to work..make sure you are 110% better....look after Number 1..You !! I cannot help as I was out for a while ....over 4 months but after 4 months although I spoke then fell asleep... it wasn't until I had shunt fitted that I knew what was going on..so I put my family thru it also.but they moan at me now... so I must be better Good luck on help !! Someone will be along to help xx Good luck WinB143 xx xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Sandi K Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Hi Paula, warm welcome to BTG. I'm Canadian so can't offer anything regarding your sick pay rules. I agree with Win that you need to be careful about going back too early. Your brain needs rest to get well. Mental and physical activity drain your brain in the early days and you are still in the early days. Don't feel guilty about what happened to you. It's not your fault, you didn't cause it. It just happened and now you have to focus on getting well. Lots of quiet is important and drink lots of water. Sandi K. Xoxooxox Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 (edited) Hi Paula warm welcome to the site, glad you found us. First of all hun don’t feel guilty for what you’ve put them through, you couldn’t help what happened, it just happened we dont ask for it, I think the work situ is the same with most people but honestly don’t try to attempt returning before you need or feel ready to. Its not a fault or if it is I had that ‘fault’ too I didnt realize just how bad I hadbeen effected I thought they all didnt understand it was ME who didnt understand. Maybe you could get intouch with CAB or welfare rights I know lots that have and they’revery helpful above all try not to worry (I know easier said than done) you areearly on in your recovery and thats what comes first your recovery. Take care Edited June 6, 2012 by Skippy Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldfish.girl Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Hi Paula, I understand the guilt. I am a single mum & was alone with my youngest son who was 7 at the time & found me. It's horrible to think of what it puts them through but as others have already said, you didn't ask for this to happen. In time the horror for your family will wear off, my son is back to his cheeky wee self!! They will probably always worry when you feel unwell but as time goes on, it will be mild concern - time does heal all the shock & worry, honestly. As for the financial situation it really would be best to get advice from CAB or your local job centre/benefits office. There are so many benefits & related rules that you really do need to speak to someone who has expertise in this field. Also let them know if the forms are all a bit overwhelming as they can help you to apply. You really do need time to get better before you can think about going back to work. Good luck Michelle xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
kempse Posted June 5, 2012 Share Posted June 5, 2012 Hi Paula, welcome to BTG, it's good that you've found the site so early, as reading through previous posts will help you relate to how you feel now and will also help as you go along your journey of recovery. It is understandably difficult for family, particularly children to see one of their parents go through this, but like others have said, you didn't ask for it to happen, so try not to feel guilty. Looking back, I am very proud of the way in which my three kids dealt with me being ill and in time I'm sure your guilt will turn to pride too. Sorry I can't help regarding sick pay - worrying about loss of income is just another thing we could well do without. It's probably worth getting advice from CAB though. Take care, Sarah Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
marycharisa Posted June 17, 2012 Share Posted June 17, 2012 Hi Paula, I have no advice as I am in the States, but I can relate. I quit my job of 12 years to start my dream job in Childrens hospital in NYC, after 2 weeks I had a SAH (went to work as I did not want to call out), long story short, I cannot get disability from the new hospital, and my previous employer is giving me the run around for 3 weeks, even though I had 200 hours of sick time and 107 hours of vacation, getting this money is a full time job. It is so frustrating, all the little "prizes" we win from being sick. I understand the guilt. I feel awful becasue physical therapy is going to be now through my husbands insurance, and we have another 1500.00 deductable, in addition to the thousands of dolars my ICU, ER, and transport will cost on my previous insurance. I need to get back to work asap, but I know I cannot rush it as I work in a busy Emergency department, and currently a trip to the market sends me over the edge. I was very happy to find this site, as so many of us feel the same way, and after a horrible health ordeal, it is nice to mend by having feeling validated. I hope we all heal as we can. Charisa Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jeanhelen Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Hi Paula, Even the best companies tend to have a maximum of six months sick pay entitlement and most of them use up your SSP (Statutory Sick Pay) in that time but you may be able to claim ESA (Employment Support Allowance) based on NI contributions, not income or savings, after that. Google for ESA claim and SSP claim which are on direct.gov sites with useful information. Also ask your company to talk you through your entitlements. Half pay is better than none at all but you need to know how long it will last for your own peace of mind. I have a salary security thing which pays 2/3 salary (less state benefits!) and my company have been very helpful about that, giving me a letter which says clearly that I AM still an employee and that what they pay me is NOT a pension. My sincere sympathy to everyone trying to live on state benefits alone, it's ungenerous to say the least. When you talk to them, it's useful to write down a list of questions for yourself to make sure you get the information you need. ESA can be claimed over the phone instead of filling in a form yourself. Hope this helps a bit, I've been through the long-term sick hurdles before and know how hard it is to figure out. One thing to remember is that you ARE sick and that your employer is not allowed to sack you because you are not able to work. Good Luck and stay calm Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
cathmat Posted August 14, 2012 Share Posted August 14, 2012 Whatever happens Paula don't rush back to work..make sure you are 110% better....look after Number 1..You !!I cannot help as I was out for a while ....over 4 months but after 4 months although I spoke then fell asleep... it wasn't until I had shunt fitted that I knew what was going on..so I put my family thru it also.but they moan at me now... so I must be better Good luck on help !! Someone will be along to help xx Good luck WinB143 xx xx Hey win my neurologist mentioned shunt to me ive still got hydrcephalus and vertigo . how have you found it and also do they shave your hair i know its vain but its taking me this long to get a reasonable hair style lol. did it make you much better ? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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