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We/BTGers...All know what a long haul it is...for us and all our Loved Ones....Those who have helped us ...ie given us support.

We do not need the fairweather friends....as long as we can still Love and be Loved.....We have won xx

Lets all Cheer up and those who hurt us...I will grrrrrowl at them....then come here and put it in writing to you all... so no stress...xx

WinB143 xxxx

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Hi Jus,

I had my SAH almost two years ago - coiled, unconscious for a week, short term memory loss, headaches, balance problems, didn't recognise anyone when I came round, damaged pituitary gland, chronic fatigue etc etc. It's been a long road back. On 1st September it will be two years exactly. I am now back at work full time, on 1st September, I get married again, I am going on honeymoon, I have been supported brilliantly by family and friends and none more so than this great bunch of people on this group. They are all over the the UK,USA and Canada, yet I feel they are with me, even when I am not on this computer. You know why? They welcomed me with open arms, they didn't judge me and above all, they have lived through this terrible experience and they understand. They get it. We all have different problems because the effects of what happened to us vary by degrees, but we all agree that it was terrible at the time, the recovery is a slow and arduous process for all of us. We support each other and gain much strength through that. I thought you said this other person is a 'workmate.' If that's the way she behaves, she isn't a mate, she's just someone you are unfortunate enough to know. I hope she just doesn't understand because you can educate her and then maybe she will see and may become your friend. Don't write her off because of her ignorance. Educate her. If she is a friend she will listen. If she will not listen, get her out of your life pronto. This was a brain injury to the very core of your being. You need support, not irritation.

I, - we all on this site wish you well with your recovery, it can seem a long and lonely path, even when there are lots of people around you, but we who understand your problems, who have lived the experience and felt the pain you felt and feel now, are with you and we are here anytime you want us to be. We will guide you through this and those of us who reach the end before you will wait for you.

Don't bottle your feelings- get them out there and take the pressure off yourself


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Hiya Jus,

I am so with you on this one! One of my colleagues recently said to my partner that she 'wished she could get a year off to sit at home'. Comments like that still get to me although I'm now a year on and I've finally begun to put it down to ignorance on their part rather than nastiness simply because I really shouldn't let my blood pressure go up over people who aren't an important part of my life!

I would never wish illness on anyone but I do wish these people could live inside our heads for 10 minutes to get a real taste of how it is for us.

Welcome to BTG!

Dawn x

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Macca, Dawn....thankyou...iv'e thought about what everybody has said and your all right in everything you say....it's just hard to comprehend how some people think...but like a lot of you say it is obviously the ignorance that produces such hurtful remarks...and before this happened to me, i will put my hands up and admit, i knew nothing about it...but boy oh boy i sure do now

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Hi Jus,

My initial thought reading your first post is that your work mate was trying to be funny & maybe thought it would make you laugh? Along with not fully appreciating what you are going through. For some people, the only way they can deal with something as serious & shocking as a brain heamorhage is to try to be jokey rather than give in to the negative thoughts something this serious provokes in themselves. I would give them the benefit of the doubt as they probably really do not understand what you are going through or realise how upset & angry their comments made you - I'd like to believe that no-one would deliberately do that to someone who has been so ill. Time will tell.....

Over the 4 years since my SAH I've found that the people close to me, who care about me don't need me to explain. They have watched how I've recovered, they can see my limitations for themselves and there is no longer any need to keep discussing it. They gradually understood that some things didn't get better & they've had to adjust as I have done. There can be insensitive remarks from people I am not so close to but they don't really bother me now. I did get a stupid comment from a relative recently about my medical retirement settlement and how they wished they were given a sum of money too. My reply? 'You could have a brain heamorhage too but I wouldn't really recommend it'! It made me laugh, instead of being angry at their insensitivity & left them feeling slightly shame faced. Works for me :lol:

I had a comment from a workmate just after I returned to work 'so, what's this I hear about your head exploding', everyone else was shocked but I burst out laughing - it worked better for me to have someone come right out & say it rather than pussy footing around me.

Try not to take things to heart, I know that's easy to say a bit further along this recovery road but you & all the people around you need time to adjust & time to see how your recovery will go. However, if you can explain to people or show them information on how brain injury affects people & they continue to say upsetting things the only way to protect yourself is to shut off emotionally from those people and stick with the ones who genuinely care, accept you as you are & encourage you to recover as fully as you able to.

Michelle xx

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Well said GG/Michelle, before SAH I found it easy to laugh. I have never laughed at others but when I was feeling low

I always was first with a funny, well my humour lol I found it easier to let others laugh with me but never at me....

I have found that some can laugh at you ie those who I do not care about so bleep bleep them lol

People who feel bad about their lot will laugh at you, those who are real pals will laugh with you and be happy when you move

onwards and upwards. My Eldest Sister Sylv always says to me "oh well done Winnie I am so proud of you" that spurs me on

for next time we meet everyone needs a Sister Sylv

Be Well All

WinB143 xx xx xx

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Judging by the response, no its not just you, and to be honest (due to Moderation of language:lol:) I cannot post what my response to the ignorant wench would be!! Maybe you should ask her if she'd like all the pain, anxiety, depression and sometimes disability that goes with it!!!

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