Introducing.....me debbie x

[Doodles]

Well, firstly may I begin by thanking everyone on here.....I have found great help, advice and simply a sincere reason not to run for the hills {not that id find that easy}, I found this fabulous site with the fabulous users shortly after I started to use my laptop {short uses!!}

I had and SAH Jan 2012, I remember it being after 6pm and I went outside with the black bin bag to place inside the outside bin, as on the back door step I felt a huge pain at the side of my head, I thought someone had knocked me with a metal bar.....I remember struggling with the bin to put it at the front of the house {bin collection following day} I was hugely concerned the back door was closed and my 6 year old daughter inside and I needed to get back in!!! I went inside and sat down, it felt like I was falling in and out of sleep with my daughter coming in and out of the room, she was speaking to me....I dont remember much after but I had a very early night.

The next thing I remember was being at the traffic lights the next day near work. I went into work and told them of the story, I remember falling asleep several times, shaking violently, slurring, my mouth felt down at one side.....my manager took me to the toilets and said my eyelid was drooping!!!! I only remember leaving at the end of the day, not a clue how I got home!!!! I spent 3 days on the sofa, slept a lot, I did not eat or drink. My partner advised me to go to doctors then, which I did...I basically was existing in some form of drugged like state...very very odd.....Doctor, bless her cotton socks called my mum and told her what she thought it was, we went to A & E, spent 4 hours telling 3 different doctors same tale etc....was kept in then released next day claiming my problem to be a migraine...odd....

My mum called a doctor out the following day, who called A & E and advised them they 'must' scan me....gladly this happened and they then 'noticed' the bleed etc.....I was transferred to LGI overnight and had the coiling procedure done the following day {my 35th bday} I spent the next 7 days there, still I have to admit I had no idea how serious this was. I have to advise you all, I thought I was young...untouchable....how mad was I!!??!!

I came home with constant care from my mum, she came every day and cooked etc for me and my little lady...I can honestly say I WOULD NOT BE HERE NOW OR BE THE LADY I AM WITHOUT MY FABULOUSLY WONDERFUL MUM. She has listened, moaned and been every person Ive needed her to be, albeit I feel hugely guilty as to me now she has aged about 15 years from what has happened....Im eternally greatful and wish I could do a marvelous gesture for her....

I dont remember much about the early days....but one morning in March I awoke with stomach ache, like I needed the toilet, so off I popped....sat on the toilet I became very hot, I leant over to the basin and ran cold water on my hand, I then just wanted to lay down...I began to make my way back to bedroom and dont know what happened but I was on all fours on the floor facing banister, I felt like I was so still yet forced to stay so, my mouth seemed forced shut and teeth tight, I was hot and there seemed to be a force running up me...all sounds odd {thank you Moonlight for your help on this one}...I eventually got up and fell asleep, when I awoke I called my mum, she called docs, ambulance came etc...took me to hospital, and basically after a number of hours they state was something to do with my stomach....basically I thought a while after, with research this was more like a partial fit. I mentioned to Neurosurgeon early April, but he brushed this im assuming hoping it wasnt true {unsure I am!!}.

I was then told at the visit I had another unruptured aneurysm, being small so would be scanned at a later date to check if it grows etc....I was told I wouldnt need to see him again unless there was a problem....I had an MRI in August and again in October {I have odd care< first scan was done as I had constant pain and GP unable to prescribe any painkillers strong enough!!} I have to see the Neurosurgeon again tomorrow, this I hope is simply to follow up on the MRI...

My employer has paid me in full ALL YEAR, Im still not sure why {they are poor, ive had loads of with them over the years!!} im greatful eternally however they should have picked up on my symptoms that day and taken me to hospital!!

NOBODY told me what to expect from leaving hospital, this being my great resentment.....I have had an Occupational Therapist, Physio....Basically I still have 'slight' probs down left side< just weakness and sometimes dont know what left side doing!! All my problems now are in my head, mental....memory is stupidly , my attention span is poor, my tiredness is getting worse, loads that im simply unable to 'pen' as I cant remember it!!!!....Im babbling now....I do get a lot of head pain {I cant describe as headache, its not} Im hoping this is because of my phased return to work now {im 8 weeks in} I dont seem to be the same as anyone else on here or am I???

Im sincerely greatful to the lord above for keeping me here, my now 7 year old daughter keeps me strong, Im taking every day as it comes, I cannot make plans as I usually dont keep them....I also have to have a medical driving assessment, this is January..anyone else had to have one, pointers etc?? I am running lout of anything to say, I used to have loads...im not the same person....I never will be 'her' again, I do hope the newer me will enjoy 2013 as this year been pretty rubbish!! Please let me have any comments, help advice, harsh words...owt really lol xx

Doodles

Edited November 15, 2012 by Karen

[Winb143]

Like you I was out of it, my Husband and Daughter were my Saviours along with Sisters and Brother they used to sing to me.

I feel like I want to pay them back for all their kindness but flowers seem daft and I owe them my life as my hubby would

not leave me alone in hospital.

Him/My Al and my Daughter made sure I was kept clean etc and they took shifts to make sure I was okay.

When I was eating in hospital bed. I said to my daughter "give me my bag I'll pay for this..lol thought I was in a cafe lol

Time heals and Debbie be patient, xx I still cannot walk all that far but 70/80 yards is like a marathon to me lol

You have a good Mum so plan a meal out, just you two when you feel stronger and better.

Good luck to you and Be Well xx Never give up !!

Love

WinB143 xx

[Daffodil]

Debbie. What a story of survival. Thank you for sharing with us. Mums are blooming amazing aren't they. I include us in that statement too! how's your daughter doing? My youngest came out with yesterday "I hate Wednesdays because I worry you wont be here again " . I basically went off to work one Weds morning in March and never phoned and didn't come home. I was so I'll when they were allowed to visit me 10 days in it just upset them and me so much and then when I came back home 31 days later I came back different. she's been worrying that might happen again. Not surprising really. No words to falsely promise a happy disney ending but plenty of cuddles yesterday and we've come so far.

My mum like yours has been an absolute rock through this and I doubt I will ever know the anguish and pain she went through ,( and still probably does)to help us but i know that she eased my suffering on many occasion. Your mums biggest gift is having you with her still I'm sure; maybe you could write her a letter to let her know what it's meant to you.

Like you I find this site a comfort and a place to ground myself. It's stops my fears becoming overwhelming as this reminder of our fragility is a scary business.

I hope the return to work is going ok, glad they are being so good to you, that's nice to hear. I aim to start back in the new year so will be interested how you fare as it wil be similar timescales.

Take each day as it comes and be thankful for it, that's what I try to do, some days more successfully than others

Best wishes

Daff

Edited November 15, 2012 by Karen

[Louise]

Hi Debbie

Warm welcome to the site so glad you found us.

[MaryB]

Debbie ~ Welcome aboard.

maryb

[Jigsaw]

Hi Debbie

So glad you found behind the grey! So much of what you said also applied to me a year ago! I thought someone had broken in to my house and hit me with a sledge hammer!! Also my family have been amazing and Inwouldnt have made the good recovery I have without them. Try to listen to your body and give it the rest it needs, pushing yourself too hard will just made the next day harder. I do understand how hard it is to get the know the 'new you' - Im still struggling with that.

Take care xx

[Bev897056]

Hi debbie

I thought I would drop u a note as I too am under lgii and noticed your comments about the odd care and lack of info you recieved.....i am under dr phillips there and in july had my last mri and found out today that they recommended a repeat angigram (coz they cant yet find the cause for my bleed) and to date the radiologist consultant knows nothing of this. I am getting a bit stalled with their so called care. It takes the consultants sec weeks to type up notes following an appointment with dr phillips, which in turn stalls any further action that they may need to take....and she is also damm right rude saying they are short staffed and me being on the phone to her is taking up more time.am begining a comaints procedure on them......just wondered if you found them odd too?

I recently had a sceizure too but myn was a big one,....thankfully I was taken to pinderfids and saw a neurologist there and he was the niceest person I have ever met ....spent an hr going through everything and pescribed me anticonvulsant medication....lgi just seem to shoo you off and dont seem to have the time at all!

Like u, I have also questioned why at only 30 can this happen to me I too thought I was untouchable, but this really makes you re assess everything....i recently quit my job in a mad ooffice staring at computors for 8 hrs a day to working in a care home, and I have 100 percent more emphacy now and love it, I also spend tons more time with my family and 2 yr old instead of rushing through life palming him off at nurseries, coz u just dont know whats round the corner......

Anyway, you babble on all u like, sometimes its just nice to vent and someone on here is always willing to listern....i also become good friends with jus who is also under lgi.....she is a star and if it wasnt for this site I would have never met her.

Take care

Bev

Xx

[Doodles]

Thank you all kind, wonderful ladies so far for the replies, I am so glad for them, you really cannot have any idea.....I cannot at the moment reply to each one, hopefully in time...

My visit today with LGI....It seems the coiled anni has risen....so leaving a gap {im at describing}, hence they are concerned.....I am told due to my age they want to clip, so op to the head - remove hair bla bla......or coil again {this they do not want to do} they asked me if I need time to think about this???? If have clip op ill be in hospital how long? What is recovery, how? With a 7 year old to look after {she is fabulous though my little star}

I am so very very very very very very shocked....had no idea - they state can wait and have another MRI in March and then decide, but they feel to clip only.......I am now on a phased return to work {they WILL NOT CONTINUE TO PAY ME} so ill not be able to pay mortgage etc.....I am going to need a great deal of time to get used to this -----please please anyone with this knowledge, experience please contact me directly, I need more information.....Im 35 and feel ive been though enough this year, what the hell did I ever do to deserve this......I dont know what else to say, please anyone pass on your wisdom, im staying strong as I have to!!!

Thank you again for the replies so far, you are my living angels xx

[Louise]

you really cannot have any idea

Oh! I think we can....

Im glad your being strong its the only way, I dont know 'why' I used to ask myself that often, how long recovery cant answer that either we're all different but if it needs done then dont put it off, Morgage your ill so that should be a place to start, find out whats out there for you....

sorry my explinations arent really all that good, but usually someone else comes along here & explains things a whole lot better than me, (I used to be able to explaine things like the lovely Lynne sadly not now) but hey I shine in other areas

take care, hugs

[Daffodil]

Hiya Debbie

That's a lot of information for anyone to take in, hope your doing ok with the news.

When I went in for my follow up angiogram the neuro radiographer explained to me that they were checking that the coiling was intact and hadn't compressed. (.like you i have another tiny one they are keeping an eye on as well)

When the coiling compresses it creates a neck on the anneurism and that is where it is most weak. I asked what they would do if it was and they explained they would either stent ( basically run a pipe that bypasses the blown anneurism) or clip it.

It sound like this may be the scenario that has occurred For you. I know plenty of people on site have had their anneurism clipped and tell your what it involve; it will mean another post surgery recovery I'm afraid. If you're at all unsure then you can always ask for a second opinion.

You are strong. Ask family and friends to help you investigate about the mortgage, you may be entitled to some support. Same goes for sick pay, just because you've been off before doesn't mean you can't get it again, they may have insurance themselves that covers workers pay, many do.

I recommend Headway, definitely phone and ask for their help on planning and getting you through the next stages.

Best of luck. Daff x

[MaryB]

Louise, I count on others to write inspiring, smart and uplifting comments as well. LOL:lol: You cracked me up this morning. Wish I could hijack a few others eloquent respondes before they post them!

"My theory" is no one (Dr.s) really knows how well or in what areas we will fully recover or how long. They sure cannot tell you if they do not know. I am going to ask my GP this question "Is this why they are so vague?" I get it is not like a broken leg.

[Louise]

Ah! Mary now I understand your comment honey.......you posted that in the greenroom & I wasnt quite sure what you meant....

[kempse]

Hi Debbie,

Apologies for taking so long to say hello, but welcome to BTG. I sense your latest visit to the hospital has got you in a bit of a flap - the same sort of flap I got myself into when I was told my coiled aneurysm needed redoing because blood was still entering it. They were able to put more coils in mine, so I'm sorry I can't help you with the clipping procedure - did they explain the reason why they didn't want to, or couldn't coil it again?

I know the news you received is a lot to take in and can send you into turmoil. I also know it's horrible having this type of decision hanging over you and playing the waiting game is pretty awful too, but whether you decide to go ahead now or after an MRI in March, you will afterwards feel such relief and be able to relax more knowing it is secure.

I have a second, unruptured aneurysm and although they consider it to be stable, at least until 2015 when they next want to scan me, I was told a month ago that if that one should ever need treating it would have to be clipped and just the thought of it unsettled me, so I do empathise with your situation.

Remaining strong really will help and with your Mum around I'm sure you will be getting much love and support to help you through this.

Wishing you all the best and look forward to hearing from you again,

Sarah

[goldfish.girl]

Hi Debbie,

Sorry to hear that you got that news. I'm pretty sure everyone would agree that facing a clipping operation is an incredibly scary thought. I had 2 ops but they were both coiling, not clipping. As Sarah said, the relief you feel when it is over is amazing. You feel like you can get on with your life again after it without the constant worry & fear. The only other thing I can say which I hope will help you is that a planned operation is easier to recover from than the emergency one during the bleed as you are not also recovering from the bleed itself the second time round.

There is another lady on here who had a planned clipping op, without a bleed (Gill/Bagpuss). Hopefully she will see your comment and be able to offer advice & information from first hand experience.

I'm really not sure what else to say as I am trying to think what would help me if I was in your situation and I really don't know what would. I do hope some of what I have said gives you a little bit of reassurance about having a planned operation.

Good luck.

Michelle x

[Macca]

Welcome to the world of BTG. the people on here are great aren't they? Sorry to hear this news, try to stay positive. I had my SAH 1st Sept 2010. Long slow recovery after that, I got married to my then girlfriend on 1st September 2012, she saved my life by getting me to hospital so quickly, and a couple of weeks ago I bought a small runabout, A Toyota Aygo only to discover it was first registered on 1st September 2010! How's that for irony! However, I totally understand your apprehension and it will probably be a long road back for you but the good news is that it can be done and with the support and love you have around you, it's nigh on certain - and the time passes faster than you think!

I wish you all the best - and give our regards to your Mum and daughter, they need support too, but their reward will be when they see yoou back at your best, let them never forget that!

Macca