Exhaustion

[cworden0124]

HELP! I thought going back to work was going to make me feel better. I was going stir crazy staying at home all the time. I has my SAH at the end of September (21st)...I stayed out of work (I am an auditor...so I sit at a desk, but I have to do a lot of thinking and computations) completely for 5 weeks. I returned to work with direction from my neurologist to return as tolerated. I began my return working 3 days a week 6-7 hours a day...I did that through the month of November. Then in December I worked up to 3 days a week a full 8 hours a day...but in December my personal life slowed down a bit (I have two teenage daughters and I am divorced, so I have the girls every other week...they are very active in school activities). I was still pretty exausted by the end of the week, but was functioning.

My plan for January was to try and work 4 days and work from home 1 day a week. I have been doing this for 2 weeks now (along with picking back up all the girls' activities again)...I have worked monday through thursday and then home on friday...by thursday night I can't function (I fell asleep at 6pm last night and woke up at 10pm...up until midnight and woke up this morning at 7!) I can barely function without at least 8 hours a sleep a night as is and then this. I get this "out of body" feeling when I get this tired. It seems like my brain is trying to tell my body it is done and isn't going to work any more. I hate feeling like this

I have a neuro appointment next tuesday. I am hoping she will tell me that she wants me to stay out of work longer. I am soo afraid that I have over done the return to work and now I am stuck and can't reverse what I have done. I just want to start feeling "normal" again. The "fuzzy" feelings when i am soo tired and the mild headaches are making me crazy. I just keep hoping I haven't done any damage to myself or I have been ignoring anything I should be paying more attention to.

[Louise]

Hi dont know if i'd said welcome so if not welcome & glad you found us.

OMGoodness, it was a SAH you had not the flu, you are in no way ready for the life of work on that scale, Im just going on my own & everyone elses stresses and strains....

Yes working makes you feel normal in the real world but do you feel good I doubt it you should have been recovering not working.

Ok off my soap box now really I would slow down in that way you can enjoy your time with your Girls....

take care...

[Jigsaw]

Hello, I do agree with Louise, you have so much on your plate, I realise that everyones recovery and pace is different but your brain and body do really seem to be struggling to keep up with you and seems to me it is shouting at you to slow down! Please try if you can, take care, Linda

[Sandi K]

Hi there, I can relate to your post. Sounds very much like me.

Your brain is telling you to slow down, it needs more time for healing still. I found it really difficult to give up any 'ground' I'd gained, I'm not sure if that's how you're feeling? Truth is, you are recovering from a brain injury and it's not failing if you have to scale back for a bit longer. Remember that you were 'trying' to add more hours. Well, you've tried and found that its still too early. It's not a failure and you aren't letting anyone down.

By scaling back your hours for a bit longer you will be allowing yourself to continue to be productive at work. If you continue on the path of doing too much you may get to a point where nothing gets done at work or in your personal life. Believe me, that feels awful!

Keep in mind that you have a accomplished quite a bit since your SAH. Take pride in that and hold onto your successes. You will get to your goal, give yourself time. Listen to your brain. Don't worry or be afraid. You just need more rest for longer.

Have a read of the 'back to work' thread. There is a mix of stuff in there that may help you to see that we all go at different paces and you must follow your brain's pace.

You really are doing very well.

Sandi K. Xoxoxo

[Wem]

Hi,

Gosh, you seem to have acheived an awful lot before you even stepped up the hours. Your brain is most certanly telling you to slow down, as others have said, take it more slowly. Remember, the ultimate goal is to help your brain recover and get to a way of life that you can enjoy.

Talk it over with the neurologist next week, but take your time. Remember, Rome was not built in a day.

Take care, and have a restful weekend.

Wem

[Daffodil]

My neurosurgeon when he asked me what I did said that pc work and analytical interaction were brain intensive activity and he advised me that I shouldn't even think about returning before the six month mark. The reality for me ,(and I know we are all different) is that only now do I feel I could cope with the brain demands on top of caring for my daughters and Ive just passed 10 months.

I sometimes feel like My head is like one of those snowstorm globes you shake. Sometimes it's does settle but it doesn't take Much of a jolt for a few flakes to start flyng about again. Work I think must gve it a real hard shake and it's not that you won't get there, you will, but I think it's going to get the snow flying a bit again.

See if they'll let you take it back to three days if that was manageable, it's worth taking really slow if you are able.

[Sandi K]

I like the snow globe comparison

Along the same lines of "Rome wasn't built in a day" a longtime member of the Brain Injury Society I volunteer at said to me yesterday "getting back to work is like eating an elephant. Yes you can eat an elephant. Over a long period of time, one bite at a time".

Sandi K.

[amexdm]

Hello Cworden,

You came to the right place. Many of us here have had similar experiences with SAH, work, tiredness and know how you feel. It seems you went back a little too early and are just having a setback.

My neurosurgeon told me to go back when "I felt ready" which was after 2 months. Much too soon. I work as a Corporate Financial Advisor and I use my brain 40 hours a week analyzing and calculating figures as well. It is really a stress on the brain and causes severe fatigue.

If you are able to take a step back in hours, you should do so if your employer allows you to. You should tell your neurologist you need more time (if you do), they may not volunteer it. But I'm sure they would be willing to write you off.

I am currently working against doctors (neurlogoists) orders of cutting back hours, but I work for a small company that needs me and they have worked with me all the way so I feel as if I owe them the old college try. But dont be like me!

I have felt the "out of body" experience before also. I used to go home after work, lay down at 6 and wake up at 11 and not know who I was or where I was becasue of exhaustion. But it does improve over time.

As Sandy said, refer to the Back to Work thread under Subarachnoid Hemorraghe Disucssion. There are many there that have been thru what you have. Good luck and let us know if you ever have questions and how you are getting on.

David

[MaryB]

I am workign full time or 7:30 to 5:00 3 days a week and 1/2 days 3 days. I think I am cutting my life short by doing this. Next week I have to work 3 long days in a row and I have no idea how I will manage. I am back to my exhaustion phase when I nap all afternoon again. My neurologist upped my dose of Ritalin but I have not taken that high of a dose as I do not think my mind and body can follow....... I need to see an insurance counsler, a life coach to get me back into balance.

My advice to knock those hours down. Once you start back it is almost impossible to get them cut back. I LOOK NORMAL and that does not seem to be on my side either!! Your brain maybe can do it for a short time but it is after a few weeks you need to see how you feel participating in the rest of your life. I have no kids at home and I have no idea how I would manage if I did. SO TAKE IT SLOWER. Good luck.

Maryb

[SarahLou]

Please, please read 'A Letter From Your Brain', it's on the home page under inspiration.

I hope that this piece of writing will help you as much as its helped me.

Take care,

SarahLou Xx

[Winb143]

CW Take it easy especially with the job you and David are doing.

I wasn't that great at maths before SAH so you can guess what it's like now !! lol

Just work at your own pace and do not overdo it. Relax and smile

Be Well

WinB143 xx

[winter]

Hi! Good to see you here.

Ditto on what all the others have said.

I'm almost 3 years post sah. I went back to work at about 6 or 7 weeks (as the others, WAY too soon). I thought that's what I was supposed to do, according to neurologist. I did a phased in plan, part time and working up to too many hours too quickly. Was exhausted all the time, migraines became much worse and I found it difficult to function. I pretended I was fine. Thought I just had to get through it all and keep going. After about 3 months of that, I took a different position at the same company. I had been a massage therapist for 15 years and took a job as receptionist, as ours had been fired. I thought that would be so much easier, haha. The thinking and trying to multi-task became unbearable - I kept doing it, needing more medication for migraines, sleep problems, depression, anxiety. The list goes on. Anway, was "let go" at end of that year. Boss was doing away with the receptionist position, so she said.

Although I was very bitter and angry with her at the time, it really was a blessing in disguise! I wasn't able to handle it all. It took me a LONG time to accept that for me, working was doing me more harm than good - felt guilty and worthless for quite some time. Tried other avenues to make $$, but those didn't really work out for me either.

I'm not saying these things to scare you or discourage you from working. Lots of people are able to go back and find the right fit for themselves.

You know your body and how you're feeling. Do what you can to take the best care of yourself so you can heal and get the proper rest your brain needs. Tell your neurologist you are just not ready for the work world at the phase you're doing.

Hopefully you'll be able to get back to it when you've had more recovery time and are ready. Good luck in your journey and keep us posted. Come here often!!!

Sending you tons of energy and healing hugs,

Carolyn

[kpaggett]

Had the out of body experience too. Legs were drifting to one side of me after a long hard day. I took it as a sign that I over did things. It doesn't happen anymore as I'm much better at evaluating now.

Cut back if possible. You too David...they can hier someone else part time...you're not the only one that can do your job even though you have been to this point. THEY don't need to support you, you do! You deserve it.

Teens are so hard to deal with for a 'Normal' person. The chaos alone would drive my SAH brain crazy. Neuroscience would be a piece of cake for me compared to that.

Hang in there and listen to your body/brain. It lets you in on all of its secrets if you take the time for yourself/it.

~Kris