Tolerance/patience following SAH

[bogbrush]

I've heard that a lot of people have less tolerance with others and noise etc. following SAH. I'm normally easy going, but since SAH I've been less tolerant with my family than pre SAH, particularly noise from the kids. I wasn't really aware of it until it was pointed out to me recently. Now I'm aware of it, I can try to be more tolerant and patient. Funny thing though, I have a great deal of patience at work and not a lot gets me rattled.

It would be interesting to know how others have been affected by this, either the giving or receiving end?

If that kettle doesn't boil soon, Im going to kill someone!!!

Regards

Keith

[Louise]

Funny because my friend said to me yesterday I'm not as easy going as I used to be. And that's right I used to take everything in my stride nothing bothered me or if it did I would never let it show so no-one knew now its total oppsite.

Louise.x

[Karen]

I would definetly say that I have less tolerance when I'm tired.....so evenings aren't the best of times for me. I don't feel that I have changed too much since the SAH......I've always been pretty patient.....but I don't suffer fools lightly anymore.

Keith, I think that the noise issue is something different and whether it's kids yelling, loud music or alarms going off, it makes me feel pretty uncomfortable and my brain goes into overload....I'm just glad that my kids have long passed that stage of getting over excited, especially if they have friends around.

I tend to shut off when I know that I'm too tired to deal with stuff .... Lauren is probably the most perseptive with me when I get like it and knows to give me a wide berth. Usually, after a rest, I'm fine again and can deal with it.

[Janet]

Totally agree with you all, I am definitley not as tolerant as I used to be and also find evenings are worse. I love my grandsons dearly but when they start fighting and crying I have too leave the room.

I agree with you Karen/Keith its the noise level and I feel quite nasty as they're far too young to understand Owen is 7 but the other three are 2 at three years and the youngest is only 20 months. Oh joy when they are all in the house at the same time......

Janet

[Karen]

Hi Janet,

I was talking to another SAH'er the other day and her daughter has just had a new baby.... she was telling me that she couldn't tolerate the baby crying and would have to leave the room.

It seems that noise tolerance post SAH is an issue for most of us and even when I hear kids crying or screaming in a supermarket, then I have to make for the exit!

[Skippy]

Hey there

It's six and two threes for me. When I had my SAH my grandson was only 2 months old and when we babysat occasionally on a Friday night and he wouldn't settle then it really used to scrate on me, now he's one and giggles more than anything.

Generally I'm more tolerant than I used to be. I don't get so easily wound up and I don't sweat the small stuff anymore. Paul has told me on numerous occasions that I am generally a lot calmer than I used to be while at the same time I will still tell people exactly what I think if they annoy me. I'm more emotional now than I used to be. I only cried when things really got to me, now I cry if I see or hear anything remotely touching

Weird how it affects us eh?

Sami xxx

[Guest jennybee]

My mum's always been quick to anger and has reacted strongly to fairly small things. I hadn't really thought anything of it, but given how many SAH's she's had it would make sense that this might be related. On the flip side, it has made me very aware of how small things can make people feel bad so that sensitivity has been useful to me! Jenny.

[Slim]

I'm def less tolerant, used to very placid. I also find noise can really irrate me and it can be very difficult to handle.

I've even started watching some tv with the subtitles. I also depends on the type of noise. Some music I can merrily have blaring.

Aine

[Guest Firefly]

I have missed everyone & your post! I had a very busy weekend of company. I even met an aneurysm friend that I met on Braintalk that live in the neighborhood I grew up in!! She drove out for a visit, it was great to meet her and we seem to have a lot in common!! We have e-mailed a lot and talked on the phone a lot for a while. That wore me out so I slept for the last few days!!

It is normal to be short tempered, noise sensitive, bright light senstive, smell sensitive... after having an "annie". Anger, depresson and hypersensitivity are normal with any kind of brain injury. I takes a long time for the brain to heal from something like this. It does get better in time!!! I had am still having many problems following my rupture. As your brain heals, it can go through many stages. It is good to talk to your Dr. about any of these symptoms. I don't like taking pills but, I had to take some diffrent kinds to keep my symptoms under control!! I am still on some, they have really helped me! I am sure my family and friends are happy too!! My poor husband and sister must have went through H*** with me the first year!! Oh yea, cursing uncontrolably is also a very normal sympyom!! Esp. in the begining! I did bad in the begining and if my headaches get real bad, I still do????

This is a normal sign of any kind of head trauma from car accidents, concusions, to falls... I have witnessed it many times as a firefighter!! But, we should all keep improving as the years go bye!! The brain can regenerate and that is why sleep is so vital in our recoveries!!! Your brain only really heals well when you get to "REM" sleep. It is important to talk to your Dr, if you have bad insomnia! I had to go to the sleep clinic mine was so bad for the first year. I still have trouble even with medications! That & fatigue is also very common for us. We have to listen to our bodies and know when to stop.

Try to have patience, eat healthy, stay hydrated and find a way to relax. I have found that listening to music and writing poems is very calming for me. Some people like hot baths, it is good to find something you enjoy doing to help you when you get stressed!! You deserve it, you are a survivor!!!

I know it is frustating and sometimes hurtful when people say things!! Please try to undersand that they have no idea what you are feeling and have been through. It is very hard for them to see us go through this and to deal with what has happened. You really should talk to them and explain things to them!! Tell them it takes time and you would love to have their support. There are some good books to help both you, family and friends get through this.

God bless all of us going through this, I pray he makes us all better every single day!!

I went to the Dr. today & he had me go gt an X-Ray on my neck, it has been hurting so bad & trying to "lock up" on me!! I have disc problems and when I bulged a disc, it popped my Anerysm. They have just not addressed it yet due to my rupture and long recovery. Hopefully it is not too serious!!! He also did some blood work too. My head is pounding now!! Long day, going to go lay on the heating pad and prob. pass out!!

Take care everyone!! Tricia

[rampmama]

I was just about to start this thread to see if anyone else was feeling more angry than usual.

I have three young children and I really feel like I don't like being near them anymore. I know that sounds very harsh. I of course love them but I am having a very hard time dealing with them. One is 7 and never stops talking. My middle boy has special needs and was a drain on me before my SAH. But now he is almost unbearable. My daughter is 1 and so far she is the easiest to handle. But she is still so little and easy going.

I know this sounds terrible, but that is how I feel. Any ideas on how I can feel better about my children. Now that it is summer I am hiring a teenager to come over during the day and help. But it doesn't really help with my 4 year old because he hates change and I am the only one who can calm him. (He has autism and cerebral palsy.)

I know this sounds so brutal but I thought this would be a good place to speak up. Anyone?

[Blondie]

I've said on another post about being more laid back nowadays, but I must admit this is not true for noise! I can quite happily have my music on loud now and then, and I have been to a couple (not too loud) gigs - which were good fun.

As for people noise - forget it. On the train, the babble of constant chatter and clatter really winds me up. I can't concentrate, and can even feel a bit claustrophobic when I'm in a noisy environment. In the large, open-plan office where I work it can cause me real hassle, and I've had to move desk a couple of times, just to get somewhere where I feel I can manage the noise.

[Guest hellie]

I could also do with some advice on this subject. My mum has changed so much since the SAH, its so upsetting for my Dad, well all of us really. Mum argues constantly now, she hasnt got a good word to say about anyone and will even have a go at people in the street. I dont know what to do. Do I tell her what she is doing and how much it is upsetting Dad.

I dont want to upset her but I think Dad may be on the verge of a breakdown.

I remember someone on here saying they hadn't realised how upsetting their behaviour was since SAH. Would a councellor help? Any advice would be a great help.

just want to say what a great site this is x

love Hellie