victoria conway Posted January 25, 2014 Share Posted January 25, 2014 Does it ever disappear - or, at least get down to just a few bricks? Spectacular crash into mine yesterday. I should have recognised the signs, of course. Wednesday, poor old brain had no inkling of where my feet were from first off. Stumbled on (literally) and went to work. Someone there asked me if it would get better as the day went on and I moved about. What's the answer to that? I HAVE NO IDEA! Thursday - my regular day off work. Husband, kindly, took bus to get to the train so I didn't have to get up early. Expected grocery delivery between 9 and 11am. Decided it would do the deliveryman no lasting harm if I greeted him in my jamas and dressing gown. Sourcing latter when mobile phone rang - downstairs. Staggered down just as it stopped. House phone rang - answered - work - can't get into one part of accounting system. All other parts OK - just one member of staff who can't. Response terse. Reboot her computer and try again. If I don't hear from you, I will come in and sort - but not till delivery received. Man came - grocery bags all over kitchen floor. What to do now? Unpack? Get dressed and go? Follow normal routine of my day off - bath and hairwash? Decided on latter (which wears me out anyway - but at least reduces the stiffness in my legs which exacerbates mobility. So bath - hairwash - abandon idea of hairdry (haven't done that since the horrible event!) - leave grocery bags all over kitchen floor. Now 10.45 - get keys and go. Reached 1/2 mile from home, mobile phone rang. Luckily, I have sorted out Bluetooth connection through the car radio (husband v jealous of this!) so press button to answer. Recalcitrant member of staff reporting has access to accounting systems. Bite tongue (it's pretty short now!) - and turn back home. Grocery bags still all over the kitchen floor (where is that unpacking fairy?) - need breakfast. Make coffee - tripping over bags. Slop some yogurt into bowl. Add muesli. So tired, it's difficult to swallow even that. Sit awhile - because it's all I can do. Clock strikes 12 noon. Grocery bags beginning to look sullen on the kitchen floor. Decide I need to unpack, at least, the things that belong in the fridge. But the fridge is in the utility room - involves a step and my feet and the bags are heavy. Decide to unpack the things that go in close cupboards. Start with wine rack - an easy one - and disposes with three bags because they're so rubbish at packing! Not so much luck with the coffee/tea etc cupboard. Seems to be stuffed full already but poke it all in holus bolus. Sit awhile - because it's all I can do. Clock strikes 1pm. Have 2.45pm appointment with hydrotherapist - first since five weeks ago. Christmas, my mother-in-law's needs and her mother's needs have got in the way. Need to think about where swimming stuff is, whether I have £1 for the locker, what has happened to my little bit of cloth which is applied to the end of my stick to stop it skitting about on the pool edge etc etc. Abandon unpacking - rationalise by fact that kitchen floor cool and fridge stuff won't harm too much. Sort all that out - bit of panic over the little bit of cloth but it reappears in the bottom of the bag, even though I "know" I've looked there before. Get to appointment - lovely to see my hydrotherapist again. She has been my saviour in all of this. She's kind and gives me an easy session but still, I trip and wobble - and, when it gets to some sort of tap dancing routine because nothing will obey me and I start the yawning - she brings me gently out. She is magic as she can somehow still give me a sense of achievement, even when I've been so rubbish. Get home - remainder of grocery bags still all over the kitchen floor. Could sit awhile but have to pick up husband from train and feel grocery bags should be sorted out. Redistribute fridge stuff into vacant bags and make several trips up/down step to fridge. Redistribute remainder to worktops to make it look like I tried. So - how many signs did I need? Feet not in connection one day - next, a whole day of indecision? Why should I be so surprised that, on Friday morning, I simply could not get up. Could not contemplate eating - and, when I tried that, could not keep anything down. The exhaustion wall simply stood before me and said stop. But - back to my question. I think I have accepted, at least, that, though I could do all in the past, it is not the case now. I am 2 1/2 years after the event now. What I want to know is - does it get better? Or is this it? Is that wretched wall there forever? Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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