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Hi,when i had my sah i was in my bedroom and collapsed on my bed and then the paramedics came in there etc and i thought i was dying.I have been sleeping on a bed in my lounge because i couldn't get upstairs but yesterday social services fitted a stair rail all the way up the stairs and with one crutch i am able to actually make it up there.So last night i was feeling over the moon at being able to go and sleep in my own double bed.I laid there,really tired and just had this overwhelming sense of panic and upset at being back in the room,on the bed where i nearly died! I remembered everything so vividly and its really upset me.Any suggestions that might help me please as i 'need' the privacy of my own bedroom after 8 weeks!Its a little haven for me away from the noise of everday life with kids and dogs and i want so much to feel 'safe' and 'happy' in there. hope everyone is ok love jayne xx

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Hi there

I totally sympathise with you. I too collapsed on the bed; the stretcher made marks on the sheet which we just can't get off so every time I see that sheet I have a flutter of panic. Don't know why we don't just throw it away but I'm worried about mentioning it to anyone because I feel so pathetic about it. The paramedics also left a neck brace behind and that freaks me out each time I see it. Can't even touch it. Can't find out where to return it to and can't bring myself to bin it.

So I can feel exactly where you're coming from and can only say that it should get easier as time goes by and it's yet another hurdle that we all have to contend with. Being on here helps because you realise that you're not the only one having these fears and thoughts that other people might think irrational.

You're still early days, aren't you? Every day is another milestone and one day soon you'll wake up and realise just how far you've come.

Chin up

Sarah x

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Morning Jayne.

It might not help but I would ask myself how many nights I spent there when nothing untoward happened. I would compare the figures and go with that. Each time I would look at the bed I would allow the feelings to come and then remember a time when something good and positive happened there. I would go back to a time when I was just waking up in the bed and stretching, to one of those mornings when all was well with the world.

Hope that that is of some use to you.

Andy

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It doesn't help when you are constantly questioning yourself about your need to be "safe". I'm four years on and although I know that I'm not going to have another SAH it doesn't stop me from panicing every time I have a dizzy spell. I'm afraid that it's something we all have to come to terms with in our own ways and everyone will have differing rates of success. Just the knowledge of other people out there who've been through the same thing used to help me, this site has so many examples of those who've come through SAH and "lived" to tell their tale.

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My SAH happened when I was sat on the settee .... it's funny, but I still don't normally sit down that end now.... it's only since you mentioned about your bedroom that I've really thought about it.

In a practical sense, how about getting your kids to re-arrange the bedroom and put a few things in a different position, if it's practical? If you can afford it, maybe some new bed linen or cushions? I'm beginning to sound like the "House Doctor" now.... :lol: You definetely need a sanctuary and a room where you can flee too, to get some rest and relaxation.

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Thanks for the replies......Its comforting to know others feel the same.Karen,thats a great idea hadn't thought of that.My budget can just about stretch to new bedding,cushions and maybe even something different to hang on the walls.Will try and sort that out one day next week.A friend also has suggested i build up my time gradually in the room rather than try and spend hours in there for bed.I appreciate everyones thoughts on my posting.best wishes to you all

love Jayne xx

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Hi there

All I can say is that it just takes time not only for the healing but for the memory to fade, I couldnt help being exactly where I colapsed it was on the livingroom foor, where they gave me cpr, I would say take things slowly, & agree with Karen maybe little changes would be good & nice too.

Well take care

Louise.x

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Perhaps us SAH'ers should get a mural painted on the ceiling! :lol: Must admit that I've been tempted to ..... spent so long looking at the ****** ceiling, resting up! :lol:

Anyway, it's absolutely tipping it down here ..... the rain is coming in sideways now ....

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Hi Jayne

I had my SAH when I went for a pee in the middle of the night and at first, every time I got up in the night, the bad memories of the night of the event came flooding back. Now though, I still think of it every time I get up in the night, but not in any bad way. It's just a memory of something that happened, I've survived and it isn't likely to happen again. The bad memories have faded over time.

Regards

Keith

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Hi Jayne

Mine happened whilst washing the dishes when I called the plumber, first the mini bleed then the big one (it happened at the local uni) and the very first one happened just after B&Q had been!! I was really anxious when we had to call the plumber a couple of months back. But everything passed off ok. I think its only natural to create bad associations but things will get better with time and I do think it is a good idea to give your room a makeover this could be physically or mentally trying to have a fresh start and create happy memories in your room.

I still think it is very early for you it is natural to worried about this happening again but just take it easy and take each day as it comes.

All the best.

Aine xox

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Hi (sorry this is how bad my memory is, I can't remember who I'm replying to).

When I first came home from hospital I could'nt get up the stairs so my husband and brother in law brought a single bed downstairs ...it'd been alot of years since My husband and I had slept in a single bed :wink:

I was cooking a chicken casserole when I had my SAH, I've never cooked once since, nor do I think I'd be able to eat one if I was offered. My husband feels the same...he was unable to throw the dreaded thing away for a while (I'm mega hygienic and am glad I missed this), he left it on the worktop where I'd left it for about four days and took the children out to eat until he could face going in the kitchen.

I think Karen's suggestions are good (as always), move the bed and maybe buy some new bits and bobs??

I hope you sleep easy soon !!!

:)

All The Best

Julie C

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Hi Jayne,

so glad you can share how you're feeling right now and I just so agree with everything everyone has said to you, I don't think I can add anymore, except to say try to turn those negative thoughts and fears into positive ones, like, yes, this is the room that I could've died in but I didn't!I'm here to tell the story and live my life!!

I had my SAH when I was in church on New years eve, havin a great time, dancing, waving flags, then it hit me. Now I just love going to church but each time I go, I do remember what happened to me, when I go pick up a couple of flags I think "hey Sue, this is what you were doing just before the SAH," then I look round at my grandkids dancin around and think "Yeah but I am still here! I am still waving flags and I thank God I'm alive!!

Glad you've found the site Jayne, the people on here are just ace! the most encouraging folk you will find anywhere!

Love Suexx

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Jayne - mine struck when I was at the gym; in the end, after months of avoiding going near the building, I told them what happened and they cancelled my membership. But because I had double knee replacements (about 8 months prior to my SAH) working out with a bike etc was vital for longer-term mobility. However it was only in the last month or so that I have been able to get back on an exercise bike -- as Karen suggested, created a new "space" in the house with lots of distractions so it felt relaxing rather than threatening. Its worked so far and am gradually building up to my pre-SAH program. Best of luck in sorting out your bedroom, thoroughly agree with everyone on how important it is to get this most personal of spaces right. Joanxx

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Thanks Sue and Joan

I actually spent half an hour in the room with my daughter yesterday deciding on a new colour scheme.Couldn't have done a minute longer!

Hey you are right........I nearly died in there but I DIDN'T !

Should be a 'happy room' if i can get myself past the panic and concentrate on how lucky I was.

Thanks for posting a reply

Love Jayne xx

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I hope the changes to the room help you feel more comfortable in there Jayne. I had my SAH at work - I'm not based in the same building anymore, but I do go past it.

I'm nearly 3 years on now and I must admit I feel a bit different - I kind of mentally wave at the building if I pass it - though I did feel a bit funny the first time I had to pop in there to see anyone.

I feel a bit silly admitting this, but I kind of see it as the place where I chose to survive, so I feel an affinity rather than wanting to avoid the place?

Take care, Blondie xx

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Thanks Blondie,what you wrote.....................

I feel a bit silly admitting this, but I kind of see it as the place where I chose to survive, so I feel an affinity rather than wanting to avoid the place

thats a nice thought,never thought of it like that.Would like to think of my room like that,one day soon.

Thanks for your reply

Love jayne xx

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