Nurianna Posted September 10, 2008 Share Posted September 10, 2008 HI everyone! I still haven´t figured out the website completely but I think I can open subject here. Please excuse my mistakes if I am not supposed to. I know I might never have a complete explanation on why I had an aneurysm to start with and why it ruptured. But I have read that some of the believed reasons to have one are: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, family history, use of cocaine and smoking. The only one I qualify for as far as I know is the smoking. 30 years of very heavy smoking. I need to see myself writing about my smoking because I haven´t lit a cigarette since the 19th of May (the night of my SAH) and I am still battling with the addiction. Didn´t suffer through the physical withdrawal because I was in induced coma but gosh! the urge to smoke has returned with a vengeance. I don´t want to start again because I know I wouldn´t be able to stop. I have an addictive personality and belong to various recovery groups because of it. Not only because of SAH but just not to wake up and get up in the morning coughing and wheezing like an old cart horse and being able to breath deeply as I now can, is reason enough not to go back! Whether it had something to do with it or not, I stopped smoking "thanks" to the rupture of my aneurysm and DO NOT want to smoke again. I am not one of those people who can control it and stick to maybe 5 a day (or less). I need to write this down because I mean it. I´m glad I am an ex-smoker, I am proud of it and I don´t want to smoke again. I don´t want to listen to my addiction to nicotine. It only lies to me!. It can never be "just one". Never was and never will be. Not with me! What am I ranting about are my own issues with smoking. Just mine. No opinion on anybody else's. I´d like to make that clear. I´m no anti-smoking fanatic. Thanks for being there, lots of love Nurianna 1 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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