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Posted

HI everyone!

I still haven´t figured out the website completely but I think I can open subject here. Please excuse my mistakes if I am not supposed to.

I know I might never have a complete explanation on why I had an aneurysm to start with and why it ruptured. But I have read that some of the believed reasons to have one are: high blood pressure, high cholesterol, family history, use of cocaine and smoking. The only one I qualify for as far as I know is the smoking. 30 years of very heavy smoking.

I need to see myself writing about my smoking because I haven´t lit a cigarette since the 19th of May (the night of my SAH) and I am still battling with the addiction. Didn´t suffer through the physical withdrawal because I was in induced coma but gosh! the urge to smoke has returned with a vengeance. I don´t want to start again because I know I wouldn´t be able to stop. I have an addictive personality and belong to various recovery groups because of it.

Not only because of SAH but just not to wake up and get up in the morning coughing and wheezing like an old cart horse and being able to breath deeply as I now can, is reason enough not to go back! Whether it had something to do with it or not, I stopped smoking "thanks" to the rupture of my aneurysm and DO NOT want to smoke again. I am not one of those people who can control it and stick to maybe 5 a day (or less). I need to write this down because I mean it. I´m glad I am an ex-smoker, I am proud of it and I don´t want to smoke again. I don´t want to listen to my addiction to nicotine. It only lies to me!. It can never be "just one". Never was and never will be. Not with me!

What am I ranting about are my own issues with smoking. Just mine. No opinion on anybody else's. I´d like to make that clear. I´m no anti-smoking fanatic.

Thanks for being there,

lots of love

Nurianna

  • Thanks 1
Posted

Well done you Nurianna.....being a non smoker i cannot begin to imagine how it must feel........but know people who are having a hell of a time trying to give up....you are doing great...take care, Love Tinaxx

Posted

Hi Nurianna

Just like you I was 'forced' to give up the night before my SAH (only because I had SAH as soon as I woke up so had no chance to have a cigarette!). I've been battling with the thought that it was my fault I had the SAH due to the smoking but, at my appointment with the neurosurgeon yesterday, I was told that there is no reason to say it happened because I smoked, ie I must not blame myself as there are lots of people who smoke who don't have an SAH so it's impossible to know who is susceptible. Of course it doesn't help by smoking.

Also like you I either smoke or don't and, much as I'd still like to, can't restrict myself to 'social' smoking (although it's very anti-social now in the uk!) so have completely given up and yes, I still miss it but do feel much better for not smoking. Still get very tempted though, but won't give in to the evil weed!

You do sound very definite about not starting again, so well done and stay strong!

Sarah xx

Posted

Hey Nurianna

Wish I had your will power - I've tried soooo many times since my SAH to pack up, but I end up depressed and feeling that I'm not in control of my life - poor excuse I know - but I also know that I have got to want to truly pack in and at the moment in time I don't.

Well done tho and keep it up.

Love Sami xxx

Posted

I was on 40 a day when I had my SAH, I also had a couple of other risk factors (stress and high BP). Fortunately for me I was unconscious through the physical withdrawal and seemed to of forgotten what it was like to smoke (if you see what I mean). I had tried on many many many occasions to give up but to no real effect, even at one stage taking up cigars but I went from 5 cigars a day to 20+ !!! I have total sympathy with anyone trying to give up this dirty disgusting habit, I was one of the anti smoking smokers even before my SAH. My condition has been the main reason why I haven't relapsed in that I have no sense of taste or smell, so I am not tempted by getting a whiff of someone else's ciggie.

Scott

Posted

sorry i can't help either my ns said the smoking probably caused them to grow but i would of been born with the weak spots i still smoke. Jess.xxx

Posted

Hi Nurianna

I smoked for 20 years before my SAH, and have only given up because of it. I did not want to give up and am still hanging out to have one. I have to admit i am finding it really hard!! My husband would divorce me if I started again and blames me smoking for the SAH and tells anyone who will listen that was what caused it.

So good on you for being strong - because i know how bl**dy hard it is!!!

hugs

shiree

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