JayKay

Well said, Anya! I like the bit about talking utter b*ll*cks Here's to all us Superwomen and Supermen By the way, here's to the gals on here: "I am superwoman. Yes I am (Yes she is) Even when I'm a mess, I still put on a vest with an S on my chest".... See the video

Hi Zoe - oh sweetheart, I really feel for you! It's great that the hospital think Rich can come home in 6 to 8 weeks, however I worry that that may be a bit premature. Like someone else (sorry, memory's gone!), I saw that programme on the young lad who had sustained a brain injury and I also know a young lad who went through the same thing: they are totally different to how they were before, because they had frontal lobe injuries. This disinhibits them and they don't have insight into their problem, which sounds rather like Rich. I would make sure the hospital don't send Rich home before he's ready. If he's not safe to be left on his own, and you work, then how on earth can you cope? It's not right. If it means he has to go to a sort of home (sorry about the horrible word), then surely that's what has to happen. The fact that he's now refusing to get out of bed and feels the others are "worse" than him shows he has no insight into his difficulties. Do make sure you let his team know exactly what it's like, although it sounds like you have told them with the car thing etc. Personally, and I'm not a doctor, I cannot believe they'd discharge him while he is still so fragile and it would put such a strain on you all at home. Re the noise thing, I adore kids but I can't stand screeching and noise any more. The other day I was in the shopping centre with my daughter, and although I was finding it easier than before, all I could hear were kids screeching (which my daughter was tuning out like I used to) and it drove me batty! It made me grumpy and irritable and I am sure having little ones at home when you've had an SAH must be very hard indeed. I take my hat off to you mums of young 'uns! Sorry to ramble, but I just feel you need to make sure that your needs are taken care of as well as Rich's.

Feeling for you!! I don't think you are "stuck in a rut". I think you are still recovering! People saying put it behind you have no grasp of the trauma of brain injury, so don't listen to them. I'm now on anti-depressants because the GP thought it would help with the fatigue. It hasn't, and neither he nor the neuropsych think I'm depressed per se, but say it can't do any harm. I'm hoping they'll cut my appetite!! LOL Don't try and take on too much. Can't remember when your SAH was, but mine was in February this year. I just came back from getting another sick note from the GP and he says it's typical to be so tired after what I've been through. He said most people are. OK, maybe that means not everyone is but I'm certainly glad no one is pushing me back to work. I do a bit of ad hoc work for a Bupa Consultant, basically I take her phone messages and occasionally type the odd letter. It's doing this that has enabled me to realise that two hours' work is too much. I collapse in a heap and sometimes I'm good for nothing for another 48 hours. My GP says if I could do 2 hours every day then ok, but 2 hours once or twice a week means I'm not ready yet.... I hope you can get some support from the GP. And if you don't, can you see another GP in the practice? Sending you gentle, healing vibes

Oh Tina!! My heart goes out to you! It's definitely hard enough coping with the aftermath of an SAH without having the boyfriend do the dirty on you!! No wonder you are feeling down! I felt the same as you at first - "I'll be back at work soon" I told everyone when I came home from hospital. But as the weeks/months have gone on it's got a lot worse. I am SO tired!! People do say "don't you look well", although because I had actual surgery not coiling and I had a huge scar it was easier for people to understand it was something major. If you have coiling there are no outward marks at all and people must have no idea what you've been through. Do go back to your GP - anti-depressants do help, as you probably know as you've had them in the past. There's no stigma, honest! (I'm on them too, again). You're right, getting out and about and mixing with other people is good for you, but I'm worried you're trying to do too much too soon. 30th July is not long ago, is it? You really need to take some time for YOU. I also swear by my neuropsych sessions. I didn't think I'd need them, but the psych did assessments and we've talked about how I'm coping. It's very very helpful. As for work, well I don't know what your financial situation is, but I've been a single mum since my daughter was 2, so I know the worries! When my SAH happened I was the only one working - my long-term partner moved in with us last Sept when he lost his job - and as I myself was only temping I have had to sign on to get ESA. Belive me, it's no fun, but at least if there is one good thing about getting benefits it's the doors it opens to other funding etc. If you want to chat or ask questions, send me a Private message. Or you can read my progress on my blog www.wagwaan.typepad.com - fun starts around 10th Feb, or you could sort the posts by the tag "the brain thang"! Take care. You are among friends here. (sorry for the long ramble!!) ETA: I see you've been given Amytriptyline (gawd I can never spell that one!) - I used to be on that for stomach problems, but they gave me an awful dry mouth. Also, different drugs affect us differently, so if that one doesn't work, don't despair. I've been given Fluoxetine (Prozac) this time. Your GP sounds on the ball though, so she'll know all that..

Oh I'm sorry to hear that. I'm afraid I'm no help - my dad had his vocal chords paralysed by intubation and never spoke above a whisper again My mum, however, after her stroke, has gone from strength to strength thanks to the speech therapist, which she goes to even now, 4 years on. Patience, my friend, patience x

Oh John, thank you for sharing! It's hard to read but when you see how well you are doing, it makes it ok! Take care

Very well written, Karen!! (I'm sorry, I called you Sally in a post on another thread - DOH!). It's interesting to see how others deal with their SAH, and being only 7 months on it's still a steep learning curve for me. I hear you though: I don't think I'll ever learn to really pace myself!! I try, really I do!! Thank you again because this place is brilliant and you have helped so many people.

Hi there, and welcome to BTG. Like others have said, it takes a LONG time to get over SAH, or indeed any brain trauma. It's been 7 months since mine and I've been having sessions with the neuropsychologist who has been doing assessments on me. I understand there are not enough neurpsychs to go round, so mum might have to wait even if she is referred. Personally, I didn't think I'd need it - I've made it through the SAH so I must be ok, right? - WRONG! I don't think "why me?" or anything, but I have been having trouble coming to terms with the cognitive problems I've been left with. Only yesterday, at what was supposed to be my last appointment, something new came up! Anyway, it has been a great help, and next week we are going to talk about her findings and look at ways to cope.... I hope you can get that book Sally (?) mentioned if mum doesn't have access to the internet - it will be helpful to mum to read about others going through the same thing. Oh, and the booklet from the Brain and Spine Association is really helpful, both for the sufferer and their family, in order to understand just what your mum as been through. Take care!

Hi Erin. Wow! What a story! You are doing amazingly well though, so keep smiling I only learned about AVMs when I was researching my SAH - mine was an aneurysm just above the right eye. I consider myself extremely lucky because I didn't really have any physical problems after the SAH apart from general weakness, dizziness, headaches, that kind of thing. I did have a bit of double vision but that has thankfully settled. My problems are all cognitive, and are quite subtle now so it's hard for people to understand that I'm not back to "normal" nearly 7 months on. Take it easy! My brother-in-law was in a rehab place for something like a year when the children were little (he had Guillain Barré Syndrome and was paralysed), and it was really tough on all the family, so I can imagine what you are going through. Keep it up

Hi Zoe, I've just caught up with what you wrote and I feel for you!! It must be very very hard to be in your situation: I've said it before but having the SAH didn't seem as hard as it was on the people around me! Make sure you get some respite - contact a carers' association or something, or ask your GP. You mustn't just struggle alone to do this. I haven't had the same problems as Rich but I have been having more rows than before with my partner of nearly 12 years - I mean we NEVER argued before, and now not only is there hardly any money coming in the house, I also get very confused and upset easily so the moment there is a disagreement I see it as a huge row and think I have to move out (it's his house) because how can he still love me? I suppose I'm trying to say, in a garbled way, that I understand a teeny bit of what you are going through and I am sending you strong, positive vibes to get you all through it. take care!!

Keep positive, Eddie! And thank you for the lovely Chinese message

Nope, you still can't do e-petitions - I tried when I had my medical This is what they say: With a new Government in place a review is taking place of online services, including e-petitions. We are committed to improving the e-petitions process and are looking at ways of ensuring that it functions as part of a cohesive approach to public debate and transparent government. A full announcement on how we plan to use these and other services across Government will be made as soon as this important work is completed. Existing e-petitions, submitted to the previous administration, will not be carried forward to the new administration as part of this process. E-petitions that were live at the time of the election announcement on 6 April, when the e-petitions system was suspended, will therefore not be reopened for signatures. We are issuing responses to petitions that had exceeded the 500 signatures threshold as of 6 April 2010 and these can be viewed on the HMG e-petitions responses page. We will welcome resubmission on issues of concern to the improved e-petitions system when it is launched later in 2010.

Oh my gosh, don't get me started on this!!! I know exactly where you are coming from, having got a total of ZERO points in my ESA medical. My GP and the neuro rehab psychologist are spitting feathers. I appealed, and the Stroke Association wrote to my MP on my behalf. They also recommended I write so I did and the MP wrote back with a copy of what he'd written to DWP on my behalf. He said they are also bringing this question up with the powers that be. I really wished I could have dropped the whole thing (that and DLA which was also refused), but I can't work just yet although I have several jobs I could go into tomorrow at the hospital who are desperate for medical secretaries. The fact that several of you also say you'd like to just abandon the whole thing makes me so angry: it is reported in the media that since bringing in the medical, people have just stopped claiming, therefore confirming in their minds that the lot of us are just scroungers. I think it's more likely to be because you are made to jump through hoops and it's humiliating. I'd much rather be working than surviving on a pittance, but I just can't right now. So, APPEAL right now, and get help from CAB or whoever if necessary. Take care!!!

Hello Liz and I'm sorry you have joined the ever-so-exclusive SAH club! It's a shame you can't join us online, but maybe you could contact the people at Different Strokes or the ones at Headway as there are support groups around. I found the guys from the Stroke Association who came to the hospital very helpful, although they tend to look after older patients. As for me, I had my bleed 3 days before my 50th birthday in February this year. I had to have a craniotomy as there was too much blood to see where to coil, so it was major surgery as you can imagine. 6 months on, I'm glad I have had people around me telling me to take it easy or I would have rushed back to work. That would have been the WORST thing. It really does take a long long time to recover. You need to accept this, and that's the hardest thing because we look so "normal" to everyone else. Unfortunately, as I was only temping following a redundancy, I have had to claim benefits (the ESA), which is another saga which I'll not go into here! There is an excellent booklet about SAH from the Brain and Spine Foundation that you can request if you can't get online. My neuro nurse gave it to me and I made my family read it so they knew what to expect. Be gentle with yourself, realise that it might be a long road, but you are not alone. And there is no reason not to make a good, even complete, recovery. Take care !!

(sorry guys - look away now!!!) Never looked back! Well, I had it put in under general anaesthetic about 3 years ago, after hesitating for a long time because people said you can bleed more at first. It took a while to settle but then I stopped bleeding completely which is wonderful. No periods. Yay!! See what your doc says, but I love my Mirena x PS the hormones are localised in the uterus so it's not like taking the pill in that respect

Hello Tina and Lemonade, So glad you've found BTG and can talk to us. I had my SAH in February and when I was discharged home I was told I'd see the neuropsychologist. I didn't think I needed to; thought I was coping fine ("Hey, I'm alive aren't I?" That kind of thing...) but actually she's been terribly helpful. She started by just getting me to talk and after a few sessions she started doing the assessments - tests to see where I need help, i.e. memory, concentration, planning etc. She is doing them in small sessions because they are ultra tiring and she says she doesn't need to know how I am on my worst day but what I can't do on my best day! I can't recommend it highly enough. I do hope you get the help you need. Take care and keep talking to us!

Hi Sam, Glad you found us. It's so reassuring to have other people to talk to who've been there.... I know! Take care now.

Hear hear Kel! I'm glad you found us now Sonia. It was meant to be! Take care and keep positive

What wonderful progress your mum has made! I had an SAH 6 months ago, but my mum had a stroke 4 yrs ago, with all the complications you can imagine, at a very young and active 74. She is now 78, living alone with just a home help and cleaner. So, like your mum, things are good! Even with the slight changes, she's still my mum!! Take care!

I'm so sorry you are not getting the support you need. I think I have been lucky because my partner was told (not sure by whom!) not to let me be discharged from hospital without a care plan. I have been referred to the neuro-rehab place locally and I go there once a week. The psychologist is really helping me. Luckily also my GP says I am not ready to return to work; I thought he might think "alright then, you're all better now, back you go". I had to claim ESA as I was temping when I had my SAH so there was no income coming in - my partner was also out of work. It got stopped when I "failed" the medical, but has been reinstated pending an appeal process..... It's such a pain to have to fight for everything. My DLA was turned down, but I am thinking of appealing, just because it makes me sick that people who don't need it can get it if they know the right answers to give!! Take care. You are amongst friends here

Hello there, I'm sorry to hear of Mum's complications. Tell her we're willing her to get better very soon so she can come back here and talk to us herself. Take care!

Keep the faith! I used to love having visitors but was too tired to actually communicate with my partner and daughter - also I was in pain and I wanted peace and quiet. I just liked having them there, holding my hand or whatever. I didn't need them to speak. I hope your dad goes from strength to strength. Take care!

Hello there. I've had this for 20 years, since having my daughter... a bit like a pressure cooker in the head, and muffled noise. I always assumed it was blood pressure going up or something, but they've never managed to find anything, either taking it while I stand up or with a 24h monitor. With the SAH I felt like I was in a pressure cooker too, but in a totally different way. As long as you have mentioned it to your doctors, and they haven't found anything, I expect you'll just have to "live with it". Annoying, but... what can you do?

Hello Alan, and welcome. I'm sorry you're really going through it at the moment, but you'll see from the people on here that people really do come back from the worst conditions. My SAH, although "significant", has not left me with physical problems, just mental ones (lol!), but my mum had a stroke 4 yrs ago and she was like your wife. Now, she is living independently again, when once we thought she'd be "not for resuscitation", so it just goes to show! Take care and say hi to your wife

Hello Eddie and I am glad you were able to find us! I had an SAH in February and luckily I didn't suffer too many cognitive problems. However, my mum was 72 when she had her stroke and we really thought she was dying. She got all the complications (pneumonia, C difficile, MRSA...) and every breath was a struggle. She couldn't speak or do anything for herself. Now, 4 years on, she is living alone with just the help of a cleaner and a home help. She speaks, although sometimes with difficulty, and physically she has improved beyond our wildest dreams. So be positive, be patient, and just keep on loving him. Take care !