Gill C

I agree whole heartedly with what everyone says. Its a very special person that can go through all you have & come out the other side with a sense of humour & fun! I really hope your licence comes back soon, it def will be a cause for celebration by us all as you've given us so much on here.

thanks Dawn I have set the video for it

Hi Nick & welcome to BTG. It is a devestating thing to go through & a clipping is a major op so go easy on yourself. If you get chance click on Inspiration on the home page & read letter from your brain which puts into perspective what you have been through. Don't be afraid to ask anything as we are a great bunch & friendly (mostly lol). Win will have you singing & Mary will have you laughing & all the others will just be in there for you in their own way. I remember me being told its early days & nearly screaming in frustration because I thought I would be better more quickly than the 6 months I was told it would take! Here I am 2 years post clipping & I'm pretty good but I have learnt my limits & rest when I can & drink plenty. Its good to push your boundaries a little but not so much you exhaust yourself as that can cause a setback. Gently does it & (apologies for this in advance) you really are in the early days of recovery. Take care & chat soon xxx

http://www.parliament.uk/business/publications/business-papers/commons/early-day-motions/edm-detail1/?session=2012-13&edmnumber=295∨ just seen this on FB so have emailed our local MP asking why she hasn't supported the motion!!

Hi CFW & welcome to BTG I had an anyurism in 2010 without the rupture, I did however have vasospasms during the op & at one stage I was dribbling. slurring & forgetful. Hubby admitted to me that I looked like my mum after her stroke & he thought that might be as good as it got!! Now I am so much better, I do forget stuff & write things on the calendar for the wrong date but I am driving again & taking my son to school every day. I still get fatigued but sometimes the recovery from it is a lot quicker provided that I do rest when I need too. Emotionally I am a lot better too, I was scared of it happening again & couldn't talk about what happened to me without crying but once I admitted I needed help things got better quickly. I had a lot of help from Headway & from the neuro phsych at the hospital & eventally at 17 months post clipping I went onto anti depressants. I wouldn;t say I was clinically depressed but I was very very low without realising it & now I wished I'd taken them when they were offered earlier. Its not the answer for everyone but as long as your hubby continues to communicate his feelings to both you & his GP things will improve.In the beginnign the improvements are big & then day by day the improvements are still there just smaller & less noticeable.kee I think being young & of postive mind is a good thing towards healing & getting better. Life won't be the same in every way that is used to be & more thank likely in a lot of ways it will be better keep strong keep talking on here & you will both get there xxx

Hellen welcome to BTG, you find the more you read here the more normal your feelings are. You are very early on in your recovery so some aches & pains are to be expected. Out of all of us on BTG I honestly don't know of anyone who has suffered a second rupture so be assured its not likely to happen again. It is annoying that you were told you needed a scan at 3 months & have had to chase it but the lack of urgency of the part of the medics probably means they don;t expect to find anything worrying. From what I know of those on here who have been coiled the scans are normally done once a year & the majority find nothing of concern. Still I would talk to your own gp & see if they can get a scan sorted out for you or if you have a nurse specialist at the neuro unit contact them first. I have had the snapping your head off no matter what is said,I am now on anti d's since Nov & I'm much more chilled & although I get cross its not as bad as it used to be. If you have a local Headway its worth contacting them to see if they can offer you any support, I started going 6 months post op & it really helped me understand why I was different now & why. the advice is take it slowly, build up gradually & don't force yourself back to work before you feel ready. Drink lots of water & rest when you can. On the home page look under Inspiration & read a letter from your brain, its very helpful to see your injury from a different angle. Most of all keep coming on here for support & advice & friendship xxx

I don't think my hearing is worse but if I'm concentrating on one thing I wont hear someone speaking to me or in somewhere busy I can't filter background noise out to hear what people are saying unless they are facing me. I think in general my hearing isn't super sensitive but i do hate repatative noise/sounds (not ideal with kids!!). the worst one yesterday was a little one blowing a recorder really loudly!! I do get pulsatile tinnitus, the shwooshing noise of blood going around my body in time with my heartbeat but I've always had that. I used to get the high pitched noise but that seems to have gone now

Well I got my medical report back & am stunned to find I have scored no points at all. Nothing for only having single vision (which score 6 points last time) & nothing for my back problem (which he didn't want to talk about) which scored 6 points as well last time. Am furious as he is saying stuff that isn't true, I opened the door with my left hand - not true I am right handed & would never open the door with my left hand. He also states the lower limb function was normal but he never examined me below the waist!! I am going to appeal for sure!!

Well done Kerry, you need to recognise what you've achieved which is a big step! Love your boys for supporting you but you will need them less & less as you become less anxious. It does get easier but don't rush it or feel you should be doing better cos it takes as long as it takes for you & no one else.

Sally that is shocking although technically she may be right. I think Headway always refer to ABI (aquired brain injury) for annies & strokes but even so having a trauma to the head (which is what an anni is) has the same affect. I was suprised to learn all the similarities of ALL types of brain injury however aquired!! I'd ask her if she thinks undergoing a craniotomy isn't traumatic & hard to recover from!! Such ignorance

Great list Carl. I reckon I could still show it to my friend & she would say oh yes I'm tired too!!!:lol: Its the bone weariness & total inability to process anything more that is so difficult to explain. I rarely get that bad these days cos I see the signs coming on but when they happen people can see the fatigue but still don't understand its cause & effect!!

It makes perfect sense to us all I am sure though some people take a hell of a lot of telling before they believe! A friend of mine has seen me shut down & exhausted but still doesn't get it!!

Steph the followng is copied & pasted from something Lin Lin wrote probably 12 months ago. I had it on my FB to tell people why wer are different now & hopefully it will strike a cord with you x I can relate to this thread, but I have undoubtedly improved lots since the early days. More importantly, I am relaxed about it and accept the slight differences in me as part and parcel of who I am now. I may improve further, but I am ok if I do not. I am presently engaged in two voluntary work placements. I work at the Citizens Advice Bureau offering free legal help at a drop in centre. I find this job manageable because it is familiar (and easier) to the job I used to do. However, I sense that some of the managers treat me as a (healthy) qualified lawyer and they can inadvertently explain things as a pitch which is slightly out of reach. (And my goodness they speak quickly!!) I used to feel ashamed of this and just smile and nod my head. I feel more confident to say now that they need to explain things differently. I also work at an office which helps disabled people get back into employment. They have taken me on knowing I have a brain injury and understand brain injuries. They are teaching me reception work. It should be easy for me, but the tasks are new and I do not find it straightforward. I am not embarrassed about this. I am given short and succinct instructions and given time to master them before moving on to something else. They insist I have regular breaks saying my brain needs ‘time off.’ I work alongside many disabled people. Some of my work colleagues are wheelchair users, others are deaf, some are blind, not to mention countless people with hidden disabilities. They have taught me about equality of outcome and how this involves treating people differently sometimes. This is not about treating people better nor is it positive discrimination. It simply acknowledges that if everyone is treated exactly the same, some people get left behind. My brain works a bit differently to before. I can’t retain information as quickly, crowds tire me, my memory is poorer and the pace of my life needs to be slower. But all this is ok. I’m not stupid and my intellectual capacity is the same. Things are just a bit different. I feel empowered when I tell people I have a brain injury. I look upon it as a measure of what I can achieve despite the SAH. There’s no point in me pretending that everything’s going to be exactly the same as before and ‘putting it behind me’ as JayKay’s friend suggested!! (Aren’t people just full of helpful advice!!!) If people treat me as I was before the SAH and if I try to emulate all aspects of my life before the SAH, I am not going to cope and I will feel depressed. ‘Putting it behind me,’ will not help. Harnessing the experience of the SAH in a positive way will help me improve. Facing up to things is healthy. Sweeping things under the carpet is not, and problems do not go away in doing that. I am not going to put the SAH behind me. It is going to be the very thing which drives me forward to achieving a better life than what I had before the SAH. A previous work colleague told me at her retirement party that you ‘can always play a new tune on an old fiddle!’ I intend to follow the advice

Hi Pauline & welcome to BTG. I totally understand the black cloud although mine is more anger than depression but since being on anti d's its got a lot better. Just sharing on here helps enourmously & you don't feel so alone with your thoughts & feelings wondering if you are normal for feeling like that. I am lucky in that I found BTG quite soon after my op otherwise I don't think I would be so together now! With regard to the fatigue I try to rest as much as I can but now on a good day (yesterday) I can get quite a lot done but on a bad day I get nothing done at all! shopping wise I do mine all online, once you have your main bits set up (milk, cheese, bread etc) its quite quick to pop them in your basket. It also means I can go back & review what I've ordered & add things I've forgotten. I must change it at least 10 times or more before the day it comes. In my opinion the delivery charge is well worth saving my energy & time in store. Looking forward to hearing more from you soon, take care hon xxx

Claire my original MRI wasn't done with contrast. I know that they said my anni could only be seen on part of the scan & I had to have an angio to confirm it.

headway helped me loads, I'm one of those people who needs to know what I'm dealing with with any illness. Headway taught me about brain injury & what effects it can have & why I feel the way I do. It also helped me to know there are people with other types of BI that have the same problems I experience. My neuro psych was ok but what I really wanted was counselling but the CBT was useful for identiying negative thinking styles, most of which I realised I did do pre SAH. I try not to think negatively now & with the help of the anti d's I'm getting there. It helped to have a sympathetic GP too,

I agree whole heartedly with GG, these are the things we could see when you were pushing so hard, we recognised them because we have been there too. We could tell you this a milion times over but this journey is really one of self discovery so you had to go through it too. Its really only when we come to see it for ourselves that we begin to accept & adapt to our new life, if wont be worse or better than the old one just different. HUge hugs Sandi xxx

David I know it feels like we shouldn't complain, after all we were the lcuky ones! I think if you are living with pain then you should complain, no one should have to live with that. I also had amytrip & it worked wonders for me in the 6 weeks before my anni was diagnosed & operated on, it was the only thing that helped but it did help me sleep lots too. I still take it now to help me sleep although it does worry me that I've been doing that for 2 years!! I think getting the pain under control will def help but feeling more in control will help just as much. I have never taken any anti d's & never wanted to but I wish I'd spoken to my GP about them earlier as they make a huge difference to how I deal with things. It's not an answer for everyone but sometimes we can be too strong for our own good & we should get help in whatever form it comes. Good luck with speaking to your GP next week, hope they can help you get back on track xxx

I think you need to be as honest with your GP as you have been with us. No GP in their right mind would sign you off as fit to work if you told him what you have just written. Physically you may be ready for work but mentally there is obviously a long way to go & that is the most important thing. SL recc's reading a letter from your brain & I think you need to refresh your memory with it to understand how much healing there is still to do mentally. I am almost 2 years post clipping & don't feel ready to work, I could maybe do 2-3 hours of reasonable work but nothing more & the more complicated & noisy the work is the less time I could be useful for. I really feel for you but if you read Sandi K's return to work thread you can see how detrimental it is to go back to work so soon & she thought she was ready! Its clear you need to tell your GP much more of how you are feeling, there is no weakness in it & he/she won't think any worse of you. Its time to 'talk' & not to be the 'strong silent ' type. Good luck & I hope you can push back your start date for work. Take care David xxx

For the most part my sleep pattern is ok but then I am taking one amytrip & one sedative anti d at bedtime. I do go through phases of not being able to drop off or waking early & not being able to go back to sleep. I rarely nap during the day but for the last 2 days I have been back to bed after the school run. I would say for me the fatigue issue is worse than the sleep issue but then I do generally sleep ok. I don't understand how I can sleep 10 hours & still wake up tired/exhausted. its the one issue that can really get me down but I try not to let it take over my life! Not easy when 2 hours of concentration or noise & movement ends up with the wading through treacle feeling . It is better than 2 years ago where I would spend most of the day in bed napping, I try not to do that now.

Cath I think you need to see your GP & talk to him/her, we're not really best situated to advise on your situation. I will say however that I got to the stage where my fatigue was ruling my life & it was just eat school run & sleep for me. I went to see my GP & all the bloods came back normal so he asked me if I was depressed. I didn't think I was depressed just very low but having tried most avenues I felt I was stood still so agreed to give anti d's a try. Within the first week I remembered what it was like not to feel angry all the time & by the second week what it was like to feel happy as it had been such a long time I felt that way. I still don't think I was clinically depressed but had sunk so low & it had been so gradual I hadn't realised how bad I had got. I am still taking the low dose anti D & I still suffer majorly from fatigue but it doesn't completely rule my life. I still try to do my card making which gives me a feeling of calm & achievement. I still don't go out as much as I used to, I don't do things on impulse any more & I shop online always but I feel less frustrated & angry. If any of that resonates with you then I would say it can't hurt to give it a go but the deicision needs to be made in conjunction with talking to yout GP & maye exploring other options such as CBT

Kerry I used to get full blown panic attacks when I first went to college cos I was so homesick. I found setting myself a small manageable target each day & then having a small treat if I did my goal really helped. It really is a case of baby steps & doing what works for you. The worst thing you can do is scold yourself & that you used to be able to do these things without having to think about it. The reality is that the new you behaves & reacts differently so you need to make allowances. I would also recc speaking to your GP (who I think is a disgrace for saying full blown panic attacks are next) & asking for some CBT which will show you how to change a negative thought into something less threatening & head off an anxiety attack before it begins. Hope some of this helps hon xxx

http://www.headway.org.uk/news/local-authorities-failing-brain-injury-carers-says-new-research.aspx

Thats great news Dawn & that is the way it should be. Enjoy Headway, they offer some really good services x

Sally I totally empathise, after the farce of my second medicalI fully expect to fail & have to appeal again. This will only mean that I get my NI paid if I remain in the work related activity group but a friend told me the government have to pay your NI if you are a stay at home mum until your youngest child is 13. So does this mean the appeal woulf be a waste of time & energy??? I feel like I should appeal on principle after all the last one was sorted in less than 5 mins & nothing has changed for me in the fatigue stakes, in fact some issues of confidence etc are worse & I'm now on anti d's which I wasn't last year. I will see what happens & how I feel when I recieve the decision but I don't expect it to go in my favour :frown: