Carl

Thanks for the pictures Nic They bring back such fond memories . LOL That is one experience I do not wish to have again. I think the thing that annoys me the most...... The pain I had from the SAH I had no control over, but I actually let the doctors do the lumbar puncture to me. And I wasn't smart enough to say no, even after the 5th time LOL. If I could invent one thing in life that would make me feel like a hero, it would be a way to see blood in spinal fluid without the spinal tap.

Well I was admitted to the hospital quite quickly. I got my first CT scan within an hour. There was something there but they couldnt really identify it so I needed a lumar puncture. The Dr on staff tried 4 times but failed to draw any fluid. I had an IV drip in and was given pain killers and medication to reduce my blood pressure. It was elevated probably due to the pain more than hypertension, although I do take meds for that. At first I was allowed to go to stand to go pee untill a nurse put a stop to that. I never did care for peeing while laying down. The next morning I got anothe lumbar puncture, this time they took 4 vials of fluid. (I later read up why they need to take so much) After finding blood in the CSF I was scheduled to be transfered to a regional hospital for a cerebral angiogram. There was a wait for that. 4 more days. In the mean time I was in ER on a gurney, no bed. I was given the odd ice chip to eat and morphine for the pain. The reason I could not have any food was in case they needed to do surgery. On day 5 we made it the 100 km journey by ambulance to the regional hospital. I was at the hospital about 4 hours before the test, there were cases which were more serious than mine. After the angiogram the neurosurgeon visited me, this is the only time I talked to him other than signing the surgery waiver, He said there were no aneurisms and there was little chance of reoccurance. After a few hour wait for the artery to heal they sent me back by ambulance to the ER where I started. Still no bed. The only sponge bath I had in the entire stay in the hospital was by my wife. I was at least allowed to eat something now. Oh by the way I am diabetic and had to remind the staff to test my bloog from time to time. So I was given breakfast.... an approriate title for the meal after no food for 5 days.... So breakfast was cream of wheat, toast, apple juice. Not the best foods for a diabetic. No worries I was going home. I had a hard time kick starting my digestive system. It took me a few days before things started getting back to normal. Actually on the Saturday after my discharge I got sick after a piece of toast. My head was hurting so we called the ambulance. They were there in a flash. I live less than a block from the hospital but admittance is much quicker when taken by ambulance, well worth the $82. This time I hit a couple of stumbling blocks. a packed ER. I was admitted to a waiting room. It took ages for me to get in to an observation room. The minute I sat in the chair, the nurse gave me a shot. I sat down again and someone was taking me to get a CT scan, This was bizzare, they ran ahead and I stumbled , literally behind them, the pain killer was kicking in, no wheel chair. I grabbed a rialing and eventually I caught up. After the CT scan I was lead back to the observation room, but now someone else was in it. I found my wife who was now sitting in a waiting room they had sent her there to wait for me. Well nothing new on the CT scan, the sickness was from eating the toast when I hadnt eaten for all that time. So I was discharged, a little poorer but a whole lot wiser. No really wiser I still had no idea what really happened, other than a brain bleed. I found out way more stuff here.... glad to be home

Mine was May 12, but no aneurysm. So I can't have an anni.... but I am going to celebrate.

I never used to use a day planner but now I do. It started out as a defense mechanism for work. Getting into too much hot water I figured I better cover my but. I dont have a problem with my meds since it has always been my pleasure to remind my wife of her meds. I just take mine at the same time. On the day planner I write all the tasks I did at work each day. I write in reminders for my Drs appointments. I write if I have a headache, what kind it is and if the day has made me fatigued. I also write down any time my bosses talk to me and what comments they make. Fortunately since Jan 3 my foreman and superintendent have only talked to me 10 times. 4 of which I initiated the conversation. so I don't have a lot to write in that regard . I do lose track of time, if that is inappropriate for the task I am doing..... like having coffee.... I would use a timer. I do tend to repeat myself lots when talking so I ask forgiveness when I realize That usually isnt an issue. I also slip away to a quiet place when things are overwhelming. Perhaps TV or music is a bit loud or too stimulating. Napping is a great coping tool too. If it was appropriate at work I would use an MP3 player and listen to classical music. But since there are only two of us in the truck it would be deemed rude.

CSF is Cerebrospinal fluid the fluid contained in the subarachnoid layer and the spinal column.... good old lumbar puncture fuel

There are huge cracks we tend to fall through after SAH. I have learned more in the past 2 months while being on here than I ever did in the care of medical people. My Doc told me once I need to take ownership of my medical condition. I wasnt really sure what he meant at the time but I think it means I need to be my own advocate. because many times there will be no one else available to speak out for me. That is a long process. First I have to accept all that I have become and then tell others who need to know. All this without coming off as woe is me. Emotionally when I went back to work I was ready, but as thinks skewed I came to realize the injuries my brain is suffering. I often feel abandonded but honestly once I come on here and read I feel better. I visit and read as much as I can, but sometimes the reading is too much too so I nap I hope you are feeling like others understand what you are going through, we can all relate. Hugs Carl

Depression seems to run rampant for me after SAH. I do also get emotional, often drying at silly things like commercials. Funnier yet is if I was having a coffee in a restaurant and the waitress missed me with a refill of coffee I would get sorrowful feelings welling up in me. I havent seen a counsellor yet. I am sure I should. Many of the "issues" I face these days are work related. I have gone to cousellors provided by work before for other things. I am not sure if I am ready for that just yet I need to come to terms with a few things first. Sometimes, for me, the logic I applied to things before my SAH doesnt seem to apply anymore. I am more forgetful and can concentrate less. I am now more understanding of the need for a cry for no particular reason. There are times when I go for a walk and enjoy solitude, just for the sake of solitude. I guess nature has a way of providing ways for us to cope with things. Like I said I am sure I will be visiting a counsellor eventually. I just need to deal with some things first. Oh and Free is always good

Welcome Nic, I am glad you found BTG so soon. People here are loving supportive and understanding. Literally in a leagu of their own. I had great camps in my legs and butt for several weeks. I put it down to the Lumbar Punctures. I really relate to you there. I can look at pictures of almost anything medical online but those LP make me wince! I almost have anxiety attacks when I think of them. I was fortunate I did not get hydrocephalus. You need to rest rest rest. I often think I am invinsible only to be reminded by my brain that I over did it. Sometimes it is a mental fatigue sometimes it is physical and sometimes I have no idea which it is. My eyes are good. I do get yearly eye exams due to diabetes and there has been no change there. I did tell my dentist about the SAH and they put off doing work on my teeth for 6 months. They didnt want to stand me on my head I guess:lol: I hope you find the group here as supportive and as informative as I have. If you have any questions feel free to ask.

My SAH was non aneurysmal. I didn't know that till a few months ago. Here I was telling people I had a brain aneurysm when it was really a brain hemorrhage. I never did have an MRI, I only spoke to the neurolgist once, that was just before my discharge when he informed me chances of a rebleed were miniscule. I did not get the cerebral angiogram till 5 days after I was admitted. The real indicator in my case that I had a SAH was the lumbar punctures. They made 4 attempts the first night and failed to draw any CSF. The next morning they did a 5th puncture and there was blood in the fluid. They took 3 or 4 vials of fluid. I didnt know at the time why they did that but I have since read that they required this much fluid to elliminate any chances the first vial was just contaminated with blood from the previous lumbar punctures. I don't think my SAH was Perimesencephalic since they did not notice any build up in that region. I was very relieved to find out chances of a rebleed we minimal and that there were no aneurism present. I do wish I was more informed of the processes and what the findings meant while I was still in hospital. It wasnt till I found BTG that I started researching SAH. In your case where the doctor believes your case is strange, his phrasing may be a little confusing. Sometimes a coincidence is just that a coincidence. Strange may just mean unusual. The hematoma would be a clot where the blood in the CSF would be fresh, I think that is why they are not related. But I am not a doctor. Just a lucky friend

9 months since my SAH and I am back at work full time I went back after 2 months and that wasnt too wise. I get so exhausted after work I often crash for an hour. Sometimes I go to bed at 7 pm and sleep through till morning. Before SAH I would sleep maybe 4 hours a night and catch up with a good nights sleep once a month. I enjoy the naps and the sleeps. My partner thinks it is funny I can nap at lunch in the truck. We get a 30 minute lunch and I can eat and have a nap and still fit it in the 30 minutes. I am finding the days slide by and I am not making much progress. I know that my brain is telling my body I need rest. The weather has been poor lately so I am not walking as much as I used to either. I am wondering if I should cut back to 4 days a week, maybe take Wednesdays off. That may allow my body to catch up. I think the naps are a great way for me to revitalize. I just dont see how I could incorporate them into my job.

My employer is knows I had an SAH. I still don't think they acknowledge the fact. I honestly feel that I have been put in the corner and will retire soon enough. Out of sight out of mind. I have taken letters from my GP to work explaining some of the difficulties a person with SAH can have. To date the employer has ignored the comments and said " Glad you can do the duties of a labourer" which wouldnt be too bad if I had applied for a labourers job. I know I may sound a little bitter. I really don't mean to. I think a person needs to make a disclosure of limits a SAH stroke puts on you. We need to be our own advocates. I am not dumb, I am not lazy and I don't lie. I an frustrated, sometimes fatigued, and when I say I don't remember I honestly don't remember. I am a dedicated employee and if you give me a chance I will prove it time and again. I think if a good HR department knows your capabilities and is willing to apply them everyone will win.

Welcome to BTG. I am from BC too. No aneurism for me just a Blood eeee Headache. well thats what my doc called it. This group has been a god send. I reall feel like I fell through the cracks between the medical system and work. I am so glad I found the site and that I can validate what I am going through. Some great friends here, I am sure you will feel at home. PS I didnt remember that the word discribing blood was foul language. It isnt really used too much in North America

Thanks Karen, I shared it on my facebook page. Too bad I am not friends with any of my bosses:lol: They may learn something.

I went back to work fulltime after two months. It was a big mistake. I get worn out way too fast. I also stress about work every sunday night and get little sleep. Sometimes I feel like I am going to work with a terrible hangover. Noisy distractions and light, still seem to bother me. I do have lots of sick time banked away and I find sometimes Friday can be too much. I find it much easier to take the sick time and no guilt. I also take the entire day off if I have a doctors appointment. The idea of increasing by an hour a week sounds like the best bet. if you find it is too much you can stop and explain that. Once you have committed to full time you have a hard time going back to anything less. There were no occupational therapists or neurospecialists involved in my return to work. I regret not having someone in my corner.

I know I went back to work too early. At the time my job was not structured. There were no real established procedures. I muddled through and things were going quite well. I would "sneak out" the office once a day and do some field work and stop for a coffee with co workers from a different department. It was a great stress relief. Coffee breaks became more of a social time and often spilled from 15 minutes to 30. Somewhere along the lines my bosses followed me. They called me up on a cell phone and asked me where I was. I told them I was having coffee. They asked if I had been collecting field data and I replied yes. I tried to keep the odd job open in different parts of town in order to meet for coffee without waisting time or blatently driving to a coffee shop. Well one thing lead to another and I was told I was wasting time. I received a 3 day suspension. When asked what areas of town I was in on 5 specific dates I could not remember. They believed that was me being dishonest and a breach of trust. So I ended up getting a demotion, although I retained the rate of pay I was receiving prior to the discipline. Now I work side by side as a labourer with another employee. I still forget things but I now keep a journal to document what I do each day. There is a silver lining to the story. My co worker is pretty understanding for the most part although he doesnt understand or acknowledge the memory issues. I have been with the same employer for 32 years now. I am very close to retirement with a decent pension. I can retire in May but the pension is reduced. Each day I stay after May 1 increases my pension by $1 a month so I can now smile and plug away a little each day knowing my pension is getting better. I have been in this position of labourer for 3 months now and enjoy the work but I feel the whole ordeal has set me back several months. I really do look forward to retirement but I am patient it will come soon enough. I really look back and think, TAKE YOUR TIME. I went back to work full time only 2 months after my SAH way too soon! people told me not to do it but I didnt listen

I am most fortunate. My headaches are not a daily occurrence. They are not sharp pains. Normally when they occur they are dull. They are often in the temples and spread over the crown. They seem to be a sure indicator that I need to rest. I can usually control them with rest and I also take OTC pain killers to dummy them up. I have never had a massage. I am sure that would help. I do tend to rub my temples and head far more than I ever did. This could be an indication the headache is stress related. I know I have the same stresses I had prior to SAH but I think I am more aware of them now. That may also be the case of the headaches. I tended not to care about pesky things like a headache before I got the DOOZY.

Gill I thought your post was your reply to me LMAO Now THAT made my day XD I choose my friends and you made the top of the list!

You are right Gill I do need to put things behind me, I am not trying to be negative, I am still trying to find my place at work. It is just these comments that make it a little more difficult to fit in. Perhaps venting here with people who understand is one way of letting go.

I didnt want to hijack the thread but I thought it would be interesting to list some of the comments and retorts. or at least retorts we thought of later thanks DawnS for the idea My pet peeve is when people tell me they think I have selective memory. I think I need a reply for that. " I don't select my memories but I do select my friends"

I am still discovering my shortcomings so I think I would like to point that out to people who are oblivious. A reply like " Oh don't worry I haven't come across all my shortcomings yet so I dont expect you to understand" I am thinking of doing a talk at lunchtime at my work. They really like these lunch and learn sessions. The only drawback is that I currently work for the public works department out of the office. The talks are in the office so I may be talking to the wrong crowd. But if I tell 4 people and they tell four people, eventually everyone will know. Maybe the best thing you can tell someone is to go online and look up SAH, that will surely scare the Dickens out of them. Then you can tell them to come visit us at Behind the Gray, and we can make them feel better about themselves

Wow Sandi! I was impressed too and was struggling to find three things I don't miss. I have always been a glass half full person. Always seen the silver lining behind the gray I sometimes wonder if you are walking through my head at night because I couldn't have chosen three more appropriate things to say. so I will say....... Like She said.

All of us, healthy or ill, carers or SAH survivors get the blues now and then. I have found Behind the Gray a safe haven and a place where we can share stories and support each other. Today while browsing I came upon Six Strategies for Coping with the Blues from Psychology Today. I hope it is OK to post a link here. I found it interesting and sound. I hope others can benefit from reading it too.

Good morning Dawn! Nice to meet you. I have only been here a week or do and have learned more about SAH that I knew in the past 8 months. I agree this is a godsend. I wish you well.

I miss being crazy all the time, but I still appreciate the times when I let myself go. I miss the feeling of being normal. if that makes any sense. I also enjoy being different than anyone else I know. I miss the days of no headaches. But I acknowledge the fact that my body and mind tell me when I have had enough.

I love that! I have to admit there are many days when I feel my brain is full.