Another aneurysm...

[Claudette]

 Dear All

 

It's been a while since I've been on this site, but with my recent news, you were the first people I've turned to.

 

You see, I've just received the results of my angiogram, and it says that they've discovered another aneurysm in my brain, which means I now have 4. I had a subarachnoid haemorrhage in 2015, where two of my three aneurysms ruptured. These were coiled and a decision was made to leave the 1mm unruptured aneurysm alone. 

 

In 2019, it was decided to that one of my ruptured aneurysms needed more coils to be added due to the widening of its neck. The angiogram that I was supposed to have 6 months after my operation didn't happen until this year due to covid. And now the results show that I have an additional aneurysm,  that is between 0.5mm-1mm in size.

 

This news has knocked me for 6. I just can't believe that I've got another one. I lost my job in July and I'm struggling to find work, but I've been positive and determined to resolve this, and I have been happy, looking forward to the future. But the news of this aneurysm has knocked the wind out of me and I've sunk into depression.

 

I haven't told my children as they've been through so much, what with losing their grandparents, my haemorrhage,  and their dad's cancer. But I'm finding it hard to look carefree when my world is falling apart.

 

I'm not looking for advice - I know that I have to wait for my appointment with the consultant to see what suggestions they make. But what I would like to know is how do you all deal with this? 

[Tina]

Dear Claudette,

 

I am so very sorry you are having to go through all this again.

Bless your heart, not surprised you are feeling so down, you have been through so much and a huge shock for you.  Sending you big hugs xx

 

Hopefully, when you have your appointment with the Consultant and things are clearer for the way forward, you will be able to get your head round what is planned and then can sit down and tell your children. 

You will need the support from your family and friends and they would want to be there for you.

 

Sending loads of positive thoughts your way. We are always here for you xx

Let us know how you are doing.

 

Take care 

Love Tina xx

 

[Kathy]

Dear Claudette, I am so sorry for this news. I am sorry it is you who has to bear yet another hardship during this difficult season of loss and family health crises. It is understandable that you are feeling depressed. And, we are always trying to protect our children.

 

You did the right thing reaching out to BTG. It helps to put your thoughts and emotions down into words. We are here. We share your struggle and tears. How do any of us do it? It helps knowing others understand and care. I want you to know I care. Others here also will lift you up in their thoughts and prayers. For me, my faith carries me through times of uncertainty and keeps me from despair. It is an inner strength and resilience that comes just when we need it that keeps us pressing on and looking to the next day in a spirit of hope and determination.

 

Keep the fight in you dear friend. I am hoping you’ll confide in someone there and begin to place yourself in a circle of supportive people that can offer you their presence and hugs. Seek professional counseling if you must ~ no shame in needing help to process all you have gone through these past few years. It is important to get the support you need and establish an environment of calm around you. Your mind and body need healing. Your feelings are normal.

 

You feel sad because this is awful. You feel tired because this is exhausting. It is okay to be angry. Don’t shut down from people who might mean something to you or can actually help you. Today, I pray you are able to discover… to notice… to taste… to smell… the small joys and simple pleasures that make a life worth living. You are a blessing. You will journey through this next medical trial and we will walk it with you. Our suffering is part of our humanity ~ sometimes it just hurts.  It is good to sit and walk together. Love, Kathleen (Colorado, USA).  

[jess]

Hi there try not to worry my 3 new ones haven't grown in 10 years they were noticed in 2011 I was told in 2020 they were there how considerate of the hospital for notifying me only took 9 years lol 

 

If mine haven't grown in 10 years I try not to think about them as I may get hit by a bus before any thing happens with them I know it's hard and it's not easy to come to terms with but keep trying hope you feel better about it all soon xxx

[Swishy]

Dear Claudette,

As Kathleen wrote above...I care...you have been through so much... I understand your worry and I also understand wanting to protect your loved ones.  They will be a comfort to you as you navigate all this.  Sending hugs and you are in my thoughts and prayers.

xx

Jean

[Colleen]

Hello Claudette,

 

My heart goes out to you as you navigate this new set of challenges. I had my rupture 13 years ago and aneurysms (2) ultimately were clipped, so they're supposed to be fixed forever and I'm not even monitored any more.  Does that mean I never have a moment of worry or anxiety about it?  NOPE.  So first you know that you are completely normal and entitled to all the feelings you are having now. 

 

All at BTG feel that, respect that, and support you, especially in light of all the other occurrences and obstacles you have to face.  Honestly, I believe that Kathy has expressed that support so eloquently that I don't know what to add. 

 

All I can say is whenever I find myself spiraling downward I think of all the reasons to keep pushing on, especially those who really need me.  And I lean on my faith, which really developed well after the SAH. I won't lie, it's a struggle sometimes, but it definitely helps to have a trusted family member or friend to reach out to and to seek professional care if it all becomes too much to do alone.  

 

You've already miraculously survived TWO ruptured aneurysms, so you obviously are a strong lady. YOU CAN DO THIS and we will be here to buoy you up!

 

Love, Colleen (Texas, USA)

[Claudette]

Thank you everyone for your support and well-wishes. It's so good knowing that there are people out there who can relate to what I'm experiencing and who offer reassurance that this time too shall pass. Thank you.