rod123 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 (edited) Hi all, we all have moans and groans about the way things are dealt with, i've done it myself (yesterday when rehab clinic told me i was doing too much for Merrill) but to be fair to them a little bit of praise today. On monday i phoned the consultants secretary in who is in charge of Merrills rehab and asked if the consultant could give me a call to discuss this confabulation thing which Merrill has (it had all started up again just latley along with other little things) When i took merrill to the clinic yesterday they took Merrill through to where she was working and said could you wait there a moment, which i did then the consultant, the clinic sister and two other people called me into office and sat and discussed Merrill with me, asked my concerns, and i told him her mobility getting slightly worse at times, confabulation, memory very poor at times,sleepless night and loads of other thing (i suppose i chucked it all in for good measure) after that he said what do you think could be causing this then and i said i don't know you're the doctor but i did wonder if her shunt was beginning to block and striaght away he said to the sister right get on to merrill gp and get her to ask for a scan to put minds at rest, then we will talk about confabulation,any thing else, I said i was told off for doing too much for her but she is not the person she was before this happened if i did'nt feel i needed to do so much for her i would'nt do it, He said she never will be that person again you must never compare the new Merrill with the old one this is like a bereavment the old Merrill is gone, He then went on to say that the clinic always work with the husbands at a later stage but i think you need some counciling now,which i don't think i do as i do accept that Merrill will be different not worse different and some of the changes are good one's but anyway i accepted the offer of councelling incase it is me that is wrong and perhaps i do need it, so booked in tuesday for first session. The way they dealt with my phone call made me feel that they had attached some importance to it and the help they offer could'nt be better and they made me feel as though i'd sat there and talked and that i'd actually been listened to and as you all know this is not always the case, but what excellent service. Edited October 28, 2009 by rod123 Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hi there yes that was so good, they actually lisenting rare quality isnt.....so please tho. I'm glad you accepted the offer of councelling gives YOU someone to talk to...but (working with husbands & or partners at a later stage) puzzles me dont they need the support before the 'later stage' or is that just me being doh! I dont know. Merrill's not different she's special......and it takes someone who's close to her to notice the changes that are happening like you have..... take care love to Merrill. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rod123 Posted October 28, 2009 Author Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hi louise yes special thanks for pointing that out she's always been special now she's extra special, and yes i don't know why later rather than sooner, although i did have a moan about how long rehab took to sort out and i firmly believe that the time delay they see as neccesary because it give the body a chance to do it's own healing and then they come in and drag it along a bit more (don't know if thats a good way to explain it) but as you probably found every need you have, it takes them forever to meet. Right at the start of this i spoke to a guy from headway, and he said there is help there to be had and the people who get it are the one's that shout the loudest, and thats about the cut of it thanks Rod Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 But people shouldnt have to shout should they... I went into rehab about a month after I had the SAH, I thought I dont need to go, oh yes I did......know that now but I honestly thought there was nothing wrong with me.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Janet Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hi Rod Hope the Rehab is helping Merrill and its great that you are going to recieve some counselling. It will give you the chance to express the effect the SAH has had on you as you devote all your time to caring for your extra special lady. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Karen Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hi Rod, I'm so pleased that you're getting the help and that somebody has listened to you. It does seem to be a postcode lottery, as what to expect in the way of help and I've certainly found, that anything that has been offered to me, has been when I've been at absolute desperation point and it's sad that we don't all have the same level of aftercare offered, post SAH. Hope that the counselling helps and keep up the good work with Merrill......xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tina Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 Hi Rod...so pleased for you... i waited months and months for my counselling....i was lucky to have it i know....and it really helped...good luck to you. Hope the rehab is helping Merrill. Take care Love Tina xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
paul99 Posted October 28, 2009 Share Posted October 28, 2009 hi rod its understandable not to jump in and help its human nature but as the doc has said step back a little and just be there for mel its hard i know but try as for the counciling go for it its surprising what comes out all the frustration's and worries which we have you included when the box is opened im pleased that mell is improving albeit with the odd step back here and there please look after yourself your no good if you crumble take all the help you can get i just wish i had the option give mel a huge hug and cuddle and tell her to carry on getting better love to you both Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jess Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Hi so glad that they are giving you some counselling hope it helps. Hope Merrill is doing ok too. Jess.xxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 29, 2009 Share Posted October 29, 2009 Hi Rod Did forget to say yesterday you said: get her to ask for a scan to put minds at rest, isnt that what the angio is for that Merrill had or has it been so long I've forgotten.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
rod123 Posted October 29, 2009 Author Share Posted October 29, 2009 Hi Louise, no you hav'nt forgotten you're quite right merrill had angio on the 23rd friday just gone but i don't know if that show if the shunt is working properly but i had'nt thought of that myself, at the rehab tomorrow will have to try and get hold of the hospital sister and ask her about that thanks will post again as to whether or not it shows the shunt functioning Thanks Rod Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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