jord38 Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Hi everybody.. I suffered a Subarachnoid Heaemorrhage almost three weeks ago and had coils inserted, I have been home from hospital almost a week. I am a single mum with a 13 year old and a 20 month old and am staying at my dad's at the moment with the children. I am not coping very well at all, I am so scared and anxious and feel so alone. Can anybody with any experience give me any information on recovery etc. I am always suffering terrible headaches which scares me, thinking Im going to have another one or something, I keep feeling weakness in my arms and legs and I feel terrible. I just want to feel normal and go home with my children. I am feeling so deperessed and scared so would really appreciate anything from people who have had the same experiences. Thank you x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Mario Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Welcome to BTG, what you are experiencing is quite normal, most of us have felt the same. It does get better over time. Drink plenty of water to help the headaches and do not push yourself too much, you have to give the brain chance to heal so listen to your body. Recovery times vary from person to person. Please see your GP and tell him how you are feeling, there are drugs that can be given in the short term for your depression. Meanwhile grasp all the help you can get with the children so that you can concentrate on recovering. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jord38 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Share Posted October 30, 2012 Thank you for the reply Penny, I really appreciate it. I saw my GP yesterday and he is putting me on some anti depressants to try and help me. Its just so hard, was breastfeeding my 20 month old which has been snatched away and is still upsetting him, just doing the simplest of things with him is so hard at the moment. Just want our life back. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Mario Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Thank you for the reply Penny, I really appreciate it.I saw my GP yesterday and he is putting me on some anti depressants to try and help me. Its just so hard, was breastfeeding my 20 month old which has been snatched away and is still upsetting him, just doing the simplest of things with him is so hard at the moment. Just want our life back. You will get your life back, it will take lots of time and patience though. Please do not get upset about not feeding the little one any more, these things happen and it can't be helped. Just bear in mind that he has had a better advantage than lots of babies (I am all for breast feeding) and you have fed for much longer than most. The little one will get used to it eventually, you know how adaptable they are. Just give him lots of cuddles as often as you are able. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Hi there. Welcome to the club and although it's not one I'm sure any of us would have sought out you have come to a good place where hopefully you will find some comfort nd reassurance. I'm sorry you've had to stop breast feeding but as penny says congratulations on doing that long, that's something to be proud of. I had my SAH and coiling back in march and seven months on the world looks a whole lot different. I wont tell you that I don't get scared about the future still but the worry and pain from immediately after has improved and I feel more confident now and energy I increasing slowly. I posted a thread a few weeks ago asking for advice as I have young children too, but not one as young as yours so I'll try and post the link here as I got some fabulous reassurance from that. It's so early for you, I know it's hard to rest and sit back with the kids but honestly it's the way to go. Please try and take baby steps, it will help you in the long run. They will be ok, If you're anything like me there was probably too much running around after them anyway. It sounds like you are getting some family help, thats good, take it all. Best wishes and feel free to pm me. Daff.x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Daffodil Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Im sure there's more as well but here's the link http://www.behindthegray.net/vbulletin/showthread.php?8112-How-have-your-children-fared&highlight=Fared Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Hi there Warm welcome to the site SO glad you found us. what you feeling right now is the normal honestly it will get better its still very early days, yes grab all the help you can get, rest when you can when your body says its tired dont ignore it, give yourself time to heal, the brain is such a complex thing.. & well said Penny.... look forward to hearing more from you take care Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
winter Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Good morning. Welcome to BTG - As the others have said, what you are experiencing is normal. You've been through a very traumatic and scary event!!! While your brain has been "fixed", it is still in recovery mode and takes a good while to heal. You've done so well with your little one and nursing. I know that there's a special bond there and your baby has benefited from your love and care!!! It's a process to get through as you aren't able to nurse any longer. Keeping you in my thoughts hon. I hope, for your sake, you will be able to stay at your Dad's place for a longer period of time. I know you want to get home, but the more help you have right now, the better. Take all the help you can, your brain and body need it right now. I know I was terrified after I came home from hospital! My daughter moved in with me to make sure I was ok and taken care of properly!!! It's been almost 3 years for me now. I've made HUGE improvements since the early days. Still deal with depression/anxiety but the medication helps and I DO function much better now. Come in here often - we're always here for one another to give support, comfort, a shoulder to cry on!! Looking forward to hearing from you again. Oh, don't know if you've read "A Letter From Your Brain" - it's in the inspirational area of this site and sooooooo good to read. I have to read it every now and again to remind myself to take it easy and cut myself some slack!!! Sending you hugs, Carolyn Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jord38 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Share Posted October 30, 2012 Thank you all so much for your replies, so kind of you all. I actually read your post about the children earlier Daffodil as I am worrying myself sick about them. I've gone from spending 24 hours a day alone with them caring for them to hardly doing anything for them and it's so hard as you will all know yourselves x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Lin-lin Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Hi Welcome to BTG. Your post struck a chord with me because I am a Mum of an eleven week old baby. My SAH was in 2009; so our experiences are not identical, but perhaps there is enough similarity for our experiences to feel a little shared. Your body is using up a lot of energy at present. Healing is a big job and the brain can be a little selfish with its restoration, not allowing much spare energy for anything else. Given how much rest you need; and given your commitments as a Mum, it will be important for you to organise as much help as possible. I do not know what your family dynamic is, but you say you are staying with your Dad at present. I am glad that you have some help. Are there other family members / friends who can help out too? From experience, the more hands that are on deck, the better. With regards to the children, you could contact Sure Start. I have done some voluntary work for Sure Start hence why it was on my mind to suggest them to you. Sure Start can help families where ill health has placed some stress upon the household. A member of Sure Start could visit your home, assess your needs and put some help in place. If it were not for my own parents, who are able to help me every day with looking after my baby, I would most definitely contact Sure Start for help. Asking for help is a very empowering thing. It can help you feel more in control of your life and prevent that feeling of helplessness that usually follows a crisis. Your GP should have the phone number for your local Sure Start office. Understanding your condition is also important. It took me 12 months to understand mine and I pushed myself too hard at the beginning. Here is a link to Headway which gives some helpful information. https://www.headway.org.uk/Brain-haemorrhage.aspx Take care. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Hi Jord All will be okay just a long long progress, I had coils fitted also and had major problems, but I am getting there. My daughter found BTG while I was in hospital, and she came on here and it helped her and me ! Never ever give up. A woman came on here and typed "I had SAH over 19 years ago" I was so relieved like this... Phew there is life after SAH and I was so happy and relieved, as it was in the back of my mind "oh will I live etc. etc. I sing and try and think happy thoughts, keeps me going lol ~ I am Daft as a brush, dont reply to that ! Keep well and keep looking forward and sing happy songs as we are alive yeahhhhhhh xx All the Best WinB143 xx xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 There is life after a SAH defo, Im 13yrs on Thursday.... Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jord38 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Share Posted October 30, 2012 Thank you all, hopefully one day i will be where you all are, having accepted this, moving on and helping others xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jord38 Posted October 30, 2012 Author Share Posted October 30, 2012 Could i also ask if you suffered from dizziness afterwards, i seem to be dizzy a lot of the time along with the headaches xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Super Mario Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 There are many that have suffered from dizziness, do a search on the forum for dizziness. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
DawnS Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 I'm glad that you have found BTG so early on. This site has been an absolute saviour for me. This is where I learned almost everything I know about sah and the relief of being able to 'talk' to other people who understand is huge! I had my sah 14 months ago and the changes I have seen in myself since are immense. In fact I still see changes happening. In my experince, it's very difficult in the early days to come to terms with what's happened and the changes it has brought. Try to measure your progress against how you were when you got out of hospital rather than how you were before the sah. It's easier said than done for sure, but puts a much more positive spin on any progress. As for dizziness, I rarely suffer from it these days though I did in the beginning. If I get dizzy now, it means I've been doing too much. Unfortunately I didn't keep a diary for myself and as a result some of my symptoms disappeared without me noticing. I wish I had kept notes, but I couldn't write for months. It would have been nice to have something concrete to look back on as I have to rely on my partner's memory of the early days. I wish you the best of luck! Dawn x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldfish.girl Posted October 30, 2012 Share Posted October 30, 2012 Hi Jord, I have just replied to your private message & then caught up with this thread. I know it must be incredibly hard with your baby but with your older child (I think you said he/she is 13?) it would probably be very helpful for them to understand your concerns, headaches & frustration at the moment. Obviously in a way that will not scare them but a basic understanding of how you feel as you are recovering would probably help them to understand that you will need some help for a little while yet. Perhaps there is a 'Carers' support group you could contact locally? In my area they also have a Young Carers Support Group and this has been invaluable to my son. Although I refused to allow him to be referred to them for a very long time as I didn't think he was my 'carer'! They don't need to be a full time, do everything for you carer - they qualify just because they live with a family member who has been ill. Pride stopped me allowing them to be asked them for help but I am so glad now that I did as he has a great time with them at activities and, I'm sure, a welcome relief by having other people who support him if he feels a bit worried. I know it is probably still far too early for you to be thinking of all these things but from personal experience I would urge you to look for the help & support you & your children need at the moment as early as you can. I found it easier to let other people make the necessary calls rather than try to do it all by myself. Michelle xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louise Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 good advice Michelle Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Winb143 Posted October 31, 2012 Share Posted October 31, 2012 I cannot stand up quick anymore, so I stand and when giddies go then I walk, so take it easy Jord. It plays havoc when I need a wee lol j/k made myself laugh, now I need to go ..lol Be Well WinB143 xxxx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
Guest Mike Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Hi all having been there done that got the teeshirt, its hard for you atm but with time all gets better but from an old pro please take it real slow and remember we are here for you Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
jord38 Posted November 7, 2012 Author Share Posted November 7, 2012 Thank you for your replies everybody, I really appreciate it. Such early days for me that I'm having a very hard time dealing with this,still. I'm suffering terrible dizziness and feel rotten. I haven been given five days of diazepam off the Dr to try to calm me a little and help me sleep. I am just so down and scared right now that I'm finding it hard to see a way out. Sorry for such a depressing post x Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
goldfish.girl Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Hi Jord, your post is not depressing, it's what most of us feel as we are recovering, particularly in the early weeks. You WILL get better than this, honestly. Give yourself time & rest as much as you can. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
MaryB Posted November 7, 2012 Share Posted November 7, 2012 Jord, Every week will be better and better. You need to trust in that, even though we all have different effects from our own SAH, we will all agree the first month is awful. Big hugs, try to stay calm and let you head heal sweetie. Maryb Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
mark_wales Posted January 10, 2013 Share Posted January 10, 2013 I've not been on here a while so catching up and just read your post. Your going through exactly what happened to my wife. Can I add, that what others write about "it takes time" - is very true, I was in your shoes 18 months ago looking for something postive after my wife had a SAH in Cyprus. She had her anerysym coiled in July last year and I could be biased but I'll be totally honest - her recovery has been remarkable - she was suffering with dizzyness for a few months when the stroke happened in 2011- this has now gone away completely, she also has a lot of her strength back. The only problem she has now is a frozen shoulder caused by weakenss from the stroke - which is being investigated by a specialist. If you were to meet her, or pass her by in the street you wouldnt even know she had a stroke - so please stay strong! What I will say if you dont mind is, try and stay off those antidepresants - IMO they dont work, they just mask the problem just like alcohol. Best thing to do is keep occupied, get out more often - take the kids for walks around the park. Or do what I did - but a dog to keep my wife occupied during her therapy - they are joined at the hip now - and it gets my wife out walking for a good hour everyday. By the way, my wife is 47. Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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