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Three Things We Miss or (Don't)

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Hello all BTG'ers

I did this thread about a year ago and we have many new members who we would love to hear from. The thread is titled 3 Things We Miss since our SAH, or 3 that we don't. My answers are MUCH different then they were a year ago. Last year I said exercise, drinking, and of course forgot the other one... memory perhaps lol. Today I would say:

3 Things I Miss

Cooking: I don't have the energy and can't stand for that long. I'll eat anything, don't care. I used to LOVE

to cook and i think it will come back. Keith? Help?

Freedom: The ability to get up amd go wherever I want when I want. Used to be able to up and go away for a weekend. Now everything takes so much planning dadgummit.

Immortality- Used to think I was young and would live forever. But it has taught me to focus on the things that are important.

Won't miss:

Yardwork- I didn't mine gardening, but the snow shoveling and lawn mowing can go.

Dishes- Goes with housework

Long work days- The 12 hour days at work I can do with out now.

Win's singing- just a joke pal, that is the BEST thing some days

Anyone else care to comment?


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Agree with Freedom, I miss my freedom. On my day off today my husband said "Why don't you do something fun for yourself?"... Would love to have the freedom of not paying for that tomorrow at work and the next day etc..... Jumping in my car and just going somewhere anywhere!!

Cooking - as well. Somedays I have it but I cannot work and cook too. Can't do that yet. I enjoyed making my neighbor/ co worker/ friend who just had surgery a fantastic salmon salad for lunch today. It gives me such pleasure but once again can't over do it. I told her to enjoy it when I have it right now!

I miss memory. I am back to forgetting things like turning on the right stove button etc....... I am sure it is due to getting better in areas but I regress in others. I want to use a word and for the life of me cannot spell it or say it right so SURI can help me. I know I should know clients by their name on the chart but I have no idea who they are. Not a clue. I watch the same shows on TV over and over like "Rainman" for comfort.

3 Good things are......

I am happy to have such enlightenment ( yes, SURI could not help me as I cannnot say that word anymore).

I don't sweat the small stuff or the stuff beyond my control.

I am happy to be by myself ( may be good or bad but mostly good I think-rather content with the simple things.

Ok 4 things- I feel I was always pretty health conc????? ( can't spell it) "health aware and concern"..........ah "health conscious" but now I am more aware of what I need to do or have to do to make my mental and physical life even healthier.


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Okay here I go.

Happy Things I do now

1, Sing more even on line, Ready David?

2, Smile more especially after food! (could be wind )

3. Tell people I love them more often. (In case!! )

Things I miss

1, Cooking a casserole and finding after all these years my family do not like them. (I did)

2, Walking with my family and shopping with family.

3, Tending Dads grave as I used to put sweets(mallows) on his grave at Christmas and Birthday (Think I am a strong candidate for funny farm)

1 more miss please. Taking dog for walkies

I even miss shopping as like David , cannot walk/stand that much xx. shut up Win ! enough already lol

Love to All

WinB143 xx xx

Edited by Winb143
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This is fun! And I like how three things we like have been included.

Three things I miss:

1. Not having to explain that I'm fatigued and what that really means (Im not just tired).

2. The big paycheque :biggrin:

3. The sense of accomplishment from working

Three new gifts I'm happy with after SAH:

1. My morning ritual of waking my brain slowly with coffee and iPad in dim light and quiet

2. Meditation

3. The experience of volunteering

Sandi K.

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My happy SAH things

1. An understanding that I don't need to rush at anything. I have an appreciation of slowness that I didn't before

2. A Deeper love of family and friends and we have told each other and that feels good.

3. BTG friends

Things wot I miss

1. Being able to hear without a buzzing noise

2. A pure night sleep that leaves me feeling rested

3. Concentration

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Hi David,

Great thread!

Things I miss

1. Spontaneity - I miss not being able to do things on the spur of the moment any more and always needing to plan my days and prioritise my activities

2. Cooking and baking - still only able to complete basic cooking tasks and have not found the energy to attempt any baking yet

3. Independence - I guess it is linked to spontaneity but I still need so much help with mundane tasks such as shopping and transport

SAH Gifts

1. A sense of calmness, almost serene like at times, due in a large part to my slower pace of life

2. Greater appreciation of life and that of those around me

3. Precious time with my family that would have otherwise played second fiddle to my work

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Things I miss

1. Being able to do more than one thing in day, like shop & eat out or cinema & a meal

2. Not having any money of my own

3. having a day with lots of energy & doing something spontaneous because we can!

Gifts after sah

1. finally learning to stress less

2. being more empathetic

3. learning something new that I never thought of doing pre sah.

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Hmmm....this is tricky so many years down the line....I've had to really think hard to remember what I missed before my life now became the norm.....


1. My good health activity levels, gardening,working, chatting non stop, day long shopping trips, cooking etc, one hundred things on the list each day (slight exaggeration there :wink: )

2. My social life as it used to be, wild, fun, spontaneous, loud & late!

3. My ability to click in social situations at first meetings & being able to read meaningful books rather than just 'chick lit'

What I love post SAH:

1. Time to sit and just be on the beach watching the waves

2. Volunteering in a field I had always been remotely interested in but unsure I could cope with & would never have been able to leave paid employment to try it out & finding out that I LOVE IT!

3.Being here for my boys (big & small) before & after school - no child minders, day care facilities involved. For the bigger boy - just being here if he needs his mum without being too busy to stop and listen.

I think I listed way more than 3 of each and I think I could go on and on and on - mostly in the positive, post SAH list :biggrin: It really is very hard to think about what I miss from before but I honestly don't think there is much......

Michelle xx

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Love fest:

Increase in spirit life: Yoga/meditation/seeking yet living in the moment.

Routine: ANY.

Cello playing has way more emotion to it. It flows so much easier.

HATE fest:

Being to fatigued to make plans or if I do plan, not being able to carry through sometimes.

Being out of control of my emotions sometimes.

'Normies' not being able to understand any of it...this includes so called health care professionals.

Thanks for the thread, David.


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This is a great thread to make you actually think about the things you have gained as well as lost

Things I miss most:

1. Conversation- being able to hold a multi string conversation with a number of people. I can't hold concentration now so can't join in the same so sometomes just stay quite

2. Energy...limitless unending energy to keep going despite no sleep or mad parties!

3. Connection - I feel a little disconnected in many situations now and I can only say my mind feels a little like a burglar has been in and moved things around so it just feels "different" though nothing wa taken

But to compensate for these I have gained:

1. Tolerance - I accept other peoples shortcomings and failures so much more now and they don't irritate me as they used to

2. Family and friends - although I had these before post SAH they are so much closer and mean so much more to me it is a stronger love now

3. Calm- the hurry and chasing has left the old me and I do not stress or feel panic as I used to. I think this may be my body's safety valve to protect me from another "head pop"

All in all I am a different person but not necessarily worse and i am still learning ways to make the most of this


NASAH 3 years ago now

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Oh Penny I need to add "following simple instructions" as well! :redface:

WHOA that is a biggie for me. One step at a time please!

And sometimes I even think "What does that even mean?":shock:

So I need to add another "good thing" .......I realized I am a problem solver by nature and I look for solutions automatically and I did not lose this "strength" but I believe I have proven it daily by the obstacles I face and have overcome. My boss pointed that out to me today that I always look at things that way. :-D

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Things I miss:

1. The ability to be completely spontaneous.

2. Being thought of is the "one who had the stroke" and not as the crazy lady who runs multiple marathons.

3. The feeling that my best years of new things were ahead of me and I could do or be or try anything.

Things I like:

This is hard because I will admit I have been dragged kicking and screaming to acceptance and I'm still not there yet.

1. Having an excuse to slow down when I just need a break.

2. Less of a feeling of needing to prove to everyone that I'm the best. Not going to be the best, so no point pushing too hard.

3. A greater understanding and feeling of being in touch with my body. Since I'm very athletic, I have a good understanding of my skeletal and muscular system, but now I know a LOT more about my brain, nervous system, and all of that. I've enjoyed learning more about my body.

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