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general tips on what to expect

Guest bernardandisoken

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Guest bernardandisoken

:roll: Hello from myself- bernard, unfortunately my partner isoken is still at queens square, she has had the op, very scary for me and rest of family, god knows how she felt!, luckily she cant remember much....she is 38yrs old we have 2 children, 1 toddler, and a 12yr old, anyone with experience of how it is post op coping with kids and generally just how it is, i would love to talk to.....im sure everyone on this site has been through these initial stages, im not expecting it to be easy, but any tips on how to make life as easy for isoken as possible would be appreciated.....also if any of you are in the north london area maybe you could get in touch.....I am sure it would be of benefit to her to speak to people with the same experiences, but further down the road of coping.....

our love and best wishes go out to you all, and look forward to replies/chat

with thanks,..bernard

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Hi Bernard and Welcome

Sorry to hear about Isoken it must be quite hard for you at the moment especially as you have a toddler as well.

Do you have plenty of friends and family to help out in the next couple of months. Isoken will need lots of rest at first as she will tire very easily.

Recovery from an SAH is very individual to each of us and the severity of the bleed probably plays a part in that.

As Keith has already said we are a friendly bunch on here so any questions just ask.

Give Isoken my best wishes and hope that you soon have her home with you.

Take Care

Janet x

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Hi Bernard and Isoken and welcome....

I was the same age as your wife, with 2 children, when I had the warning/sentinel bleed. All I can say, is that she'll need as much support and help as possible, when she returns home. Like a lot of us, she won't be able to cope with telephone calls, especially if it's official or filling out forms, making appointments.... so you'll probably find that you'll need to step in for her.

When you first come out of hospital, you feel so weak, that you're barely able to walk, room to room or shower, pour a bowl of cornflakes and your emotions are all over the place.

My best advice, would be, to ask her what she needs and that nothing is too much for her. If you have a young child then I would imagine that she would need help too. As Mum's, we're pretty proud and won't often ask for help.... but, I would say, if you can take care of the washing, ironing, cooking and cleaning, then it will be of great help to her when she comes out. If you look as though you're in control, even if you have to recruit friends and relatives, then she'll be able to concentrate on her recovery.... Even if you can get your 12 year old to help with some of the chores, then it will also make them feel that they're contributing...

Most of all, I would say that talking and having good support is vital to recovery ..... as most of us on this website can appreciate.

Good luck and wishing Isoken and your family the very best ....xx

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Hi there

Welcome to the "family". As said before we are a friendly bunch and have all had varying degrees of SAH and recovery. I have a ten year old girl and she was very frightened at first, make sure that the children know that Mummy is OK but that she needs lots of rest. Like Karen says, if you can get the 12 year old to pitch in with the chores and friends and family then Isoken will feel better knowing that things are under control. It was the worse thing for me thinking that all the things I did each day wouldn't be done, just knowing that things were under control made me feel a lot better. Also, she may feel "guilty" for what happened, reassure her that it's not her fault - I felt extremely guilty for weeks after.

Please give her all my best and I wish her the best recovery.

Take care

Sami xx

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Welcome Bernard and Isoken

I hope you find the site useful - it's a great place for advice or just a chat.

I'd agree with what the others have said - rest, rest and more rest. I slept for most of the first 2 months, and still felt tired whenever I was awake. I can imagine that with a family Isoken will be extra mad-keen to get up and get on with it, so it's always good to remember that the brains heals whilst you're asleep.... ;)

I'd also say make sure you look after yourself too, it's easy to forget that sometimes.

Lots of luck to you both, take care


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Guest bernardandisoken

Thanks for the info and thoughts, my partner, isoken is now at home, and in her usual styleis trying to jump straight back in to normal life, obviously her mind and body have said f**k off, so i think she will realise, its not that easy...i will show her your comments and tips..... thanks and chat again soon.... bernardandisoken.

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It's only natural to try and restart what you thought of as a "normal" life when you get home..... Some people can do just that, others can't...... Each and everyone of us is different and her path to recovery is her's alone and only she can dictate the pace that she wants to go at. Her body and brain may have to overule want she wants to do, in fact she may recover quicker by going slower!


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  • 3 weeks later...
Guest Portia del Carmen

Hello Bernard and Isoken!

Only just noticed this thread while whiling away the wee small hours while I can't sleep... hey ho, hubby's away with work and I can never sleep when he's not here...

I noticed that Isoken was admitted to Queen's Square, which is where I've been treated after both of my SAHs. (multiple anuerysms, not recurrence, I hasten to add) I can't really speak highly enough of that hospital, the staff and the consultants. Far better than any A&E department I've had the misfortune to be mis-diagnosed in!

Glad also to read that she is back home and trying to get back to normal life, if there is such a thing! Whereabouts in North London are you both? I live in St Albans but am based for work in central London - if it would be helpful for either or both of you to chat to someone who's recovered twice, then let me know - would be more than happy to chat.

Recovery takes a while and jumps about, I have found. Some days are great, others you feel awful and tired (although I have a horrible feeling that this may also be related to getting older...)

Let me know if either of you would like to meet up/ speak/ email, etc.

With every best wish,


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  • 4 weeks later...

Hi there I had my sah in sept 02 had my second op jan 03 on another aneurysm fell pregnant straight away had my first baby oct 03 just had another sept 07 I find it ok coping ,however that may be because i have been damn lucky with both my kids.

They sleep straight through the night very rarely cry they are so laid back and happy i can hardy beleive it, if ever you need too talk either of you just post a message and i'm sure someone will answer it

Hope you are both doing ok please keep us updated on how you both are. Jess

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