Shanti Posted May 15, 2008 Share Posted May 15, 2008 Hi everyone I had noticed post SAH that I had become somewhat over emotional and that I cry very easily, whether in response to good or bad situations. Also I find that when I'm cross I come out with whatever I'm feeling right away and don't mince words (don't shout though or use bad language - just say it as it is). Helps in one way though 'cos I don't carry it around with me fuming and ruminating for days before I react, just get it over with there and then (must be healthier). Like others on here I do have anxiety attacks, especially just as I'm dropping off to sleep or waking up in the morning: one moment absolutely fine - next in outright panic mode. Nothing specific having triggered these attacks a lot of the time i.e. worried about something. The feeling of panic seems to start as tightness in my chest and then I get an adrenaline rush of fear. (Hope thats the correct expression). As an example of over the top/out of control emotions though: My son who came to stay with us in Sept as his marriage had temporarily broken down (turns out now its a permanent separation) came home on Tuesday evening and announced he was moving out to a shared flat later that evening. Once he'd gone I started to cry and went into full crisis mode: worrying about him, having to start again etc: he's only got his car and a few clothes. This went on all Tues night, and most of yesterday. Just could not stop crying. I know I'm quite justified in worrying about him a little, I'm his Mum, bless him etc. But the way I went on you'd have thought he'd died! It was nearer grief than worry. Starting to wonder if these over the top emotional reactions are post traumatic stress related? Having just typed the above I'm now having a panic attack, 'cos I think you'll all think I'm a little daft or something - which probably comes under lack of confidence. Also feel redundant and forgotten by everyone. On 2 May, my office manager and OH didn't waste time telling me they didn't consider I could carry out my old job and consequently started to go into all sorts of occupational health training options and moving me to another NHS site within the borough. As if I'm up to all that flapping around, learning new skills, having to enter into new working relationships with strangers. I was daunted just hearing about it, so felt I had to say I intended to resign. But now I feel a right old has been when I know really I've always been a very confident and competent person, its just I'm recovering from a brain haemorrhage and its a slow recovery. Some people though think that because I look and sound alright, that I'm fully recovered and I feel sort of ashamed. When I explain I'm not as alright as they seem to think, they look as if I'm shirking or trying it on. Sorry not making much sense... just feel very panicked, scared, redundant and stupid this morning. I think Karen suggested having my serotonin levels checked with my GP, though I might have imagined that. Not sure. Don't even know if I've posted this in the right place. Off to take my Mum shopping so will check responses later. Lesley xx Quote Link to comment Share on other sites More sharing options...
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