winter

Congratulations Noah!!! Here's to life 111 mile bike ride - WOW. Most excellent. I can't imagine:crazy: Please share how you celebrated. Hope it went well for you. I'm at 9 mo. post SAH, but had to face my demons fairly early on. Mine happened at work and it was strange and scary going back. I collapsed in the laundry area and was hanging on to a wash tub. The tub got pulled away from the wall and still has not been fixed back to the wall yet! This bothers me at times, as it's a constant reminder - but getting through it! Hope all continues to go well for you. Carolyn

Lin - I am sorry to hear this - I didn't have this problem, but I think I would be on the phone to the Dr. and asking questions! I find it horrible that you were sent a letter:shock: So now you know it's not worse, but what does that mean for you if it also hasn't improved?! What are you supposed to do with this information? I do hope that you make some phone calls and demand answers. I'm sure somebody here knows about hydrocephalus and will post soon. Hang in there - thinking of you! Carolyn

Hi Terri - Bless your heart! You've all really been through it! Wonderful to hear he is home now and making improvements. I'm not a care-giver, but can imagine some of what you must be going through! I had a SAH 9 months ago. I must say that I did not suffer all the complications, or anything near to what your husband has been through. I am so sorry you are having to go through this experience. This site has been SOOOOOO helpful to me and I'm sure it will be for you as well. The people here are wonderful - with comforting words, suggestions, and genuine concern for each other. I'm in the US, and once I was released from the hospital - that was it. I really had no idea what to expect, how I was going to feel, or much else. My daughter moved back home for a while, to help care for me and we were both scared and felt alone, as far as knowing what may come next. We read a lot of information on the internet, but the best help I've gotten so far, is this site! Lots of information, articles, and best of all the people you will connect with. Feel free to ask questions, chat, or cry out when you need to or want to. I know many of the folks on here are familiar with the resources available in their regions and I'm sure will be happy to pass on any information they have. While you are caring for your husband, don't forget about you! I do hope you have some help from family and friends. Continue to reach out for help - it took me a long time to do that and I'm still working at it! Hope to see more posts from you! Hang in there. Sending you good energy and keeping you and your family in my thoughts and prayers Carolyn

Hi Stace - I too, am so sorry to hear of your father's passing. I do hope you find this site helpful and know that we are all here to support each other. Hope to see you here again. Wishing you well - you're in my thoughts and prayers. Carolyn

Gill - sorry you're having a bad day and feeling so low. You have had a life threatening experience and yes, it sucks - some days more than others. I often feel like I'm on a roller coaster that just won't stop! I've had times where I thought I was over the denial stage and then realized I'm not. I sometimes wish a fairy princess would wave a magic wand and make everything better, I'm still waiting:shock: We do all have to take things at our own pace and know that we are doing the best we can and then some! It isn't fair for others to judge us, but they do. Like Lin said, don't listen to them - they have no idea what we're going through! While I've been back at work for quite some time now, I am there part time still. I did actually do 2 massages today, to see how I feel and it's somewhat disappointing to find that I came home more fatigued than usual and have a whopping headache tonight It is times like these that I feel like I'm at that plateau - will I ever get back to the "old" me? I don't have the answer for that except to say that I will have to keep trying, 'cuz no one else can do it for me. And for now that has to be good enough. I know all about the ups and downs of depression, and with what you've been through, it's normal to feel ALL of the feelings you have. If the depression persists and/or becomes worse, do talk to your dr. Sometimes meds can help and even make a huge difference for some. Hang in there sweetie. We're all here to listen and help each other. Wishing you well! Carolyn

Hi Tina. Glad you found this site! As the others have said, you are very early on in the recovery process and it is normal to feel depressed, angry, sad, lonely, scared, etc... We have all been through a very traumatic experience and it can take many months for our brains and bodies to heal. I'm glad you talked to your dr. and you're trying the amitriptoline. Stick with it! I've had low-grade chronic depression for years and have been on antidepressants for the past 17 yrs., along with counseling at different points. For me, those 2 things in combination, were a God-send! After my SAH, it seemed my antidepressants weren't working and we've been adjusting meds in the hopes of finding something that will help me! I am actually going to a psychiatrist next month for that. I have seen a counselor since the SAH as well but my health insurance changed and the one I was seeing doesn't accept the ins. I now have. I'm almost 9 mo. post SAH and I just have to keep working at getting better. It is a struggle much of the time, but I know I have made a lot of progress in the last 9 months. You have a lot to deal with right now - do take it easy and take care of yourself as much as you can! I hope you have some good friends and family close by that can help. When I first got on this site, I found it very comforting to know that there are others out there who are dealing with the same things. I didn't get on very regularly at first, but the more I read the posts and stories, I realized there are some pretty amazing people here and it has really encouraged me to "keep going"! So now I do try and get on here almost every day - it helps:biggrin: Hang in there - we're all thinking of you and wishing you well. Hope to see you on the daily threads. carolyn

To you and your wife! Thank you so much for sharing. I know it must be agonizing for our loved ones to have gone through those moments, days, and weeks of waiting - not knowing what may come next. While I was conscious and aware most of the time throughout my ordeal, there are many missing pieces and questions I still have. My daughter was with me the whole time. My partner came and went. Neither one of them have been able to share with me their experiences of those days. My daughter has talked a little bit, but then shuts down and cries and doesn't want to talk about it. I understand. My partner has not really shared any of his feelings with me other than he felt helpless. Maybe some day they will be able to do so. They are in the healing process as well! Again, thank you for sharing. Carolyn

Karen - As the others have said, thank you for that post. It was very well written and for those of us who are not quite there yet, most encouraging. I am still filled with anger, anxiety & fears. I used to be a very positive person and quite mellow - I'm working on finding that person again. Your letter, and the others' posts after, give me hope to know I'm on the right track and eventually things WILL be better! I do know that I have made a lot of progess and am thankful for that. This site has been very helpful for me as well. I do feel I can come here and know that others have gone through or are going through the same things, and understand. Thank you for all the hard work you have put into BTG! Carolyn

Sorry you are having such difficult times. As the others said, do get some help for yourself. It's hard enough being a mom and caring for others too, don't forget about you! While I haven't had the difficulties Richard's had, I know there have been times when I was short with my family members and even down right mean. I have also felt badly that they were spending too much time on me, not doing what they needed to do, etc... We all have feelings and we're in it together. You've done a tremendous job already. Hang in there and get all the help and support you can find! Thoughts are with you. Carolyn

Welcome Kimmi. It's always helpful to hear others' stories. Thanks for sharing! Hope to hear more from you. Glad you were able to make it to the BBQ to meet some of these wonderful folks! I'm in the US, but wouldn've loved to have been there. Have a great day:biggrin: Carolyn

Hi Debbie. Glad you found this site...it is so very helpful to know you are not alone and the things you are feeling are normal after what you've endured! It's very frightening once you're home and left with all these feelings of not knowing what may happen next! It's been almost 9 months since my sah, and I am just now beginning to have some days where I don't have headaches and actually feel pretty good! It can be a slow process for our brains to heal, but you'll get there. My daughter is the only one in my family who really seems to understand how I'm feeling, and thank God for that! She was w/me at the hospital 24/7 and then moved back home for 6 weeks while I was recuperating. Hang in there and know that all the people on this site are here for you and wishing you well! Carolyn

It IS confusing - I had one done 6 months post SAH to check the coils. I was given a twilight anesthesia - went in through the groin, via cathetar, and into artery and up into the brain (same procedure, I believe, used to place the coils) which is all quite amazing! The procedure took about 40 min., I came to about 1 hr. after and left the hospital 2 1/2 hrs. from the time I arrived! They called it cerebral angiogram w/contrast. Will have another in 6 months.

Good morning to all! I've not posted for a while... Hope you are all doing well. I have been having a bit of a rough time with life in general. Still have quite a bit of fatigue, lots of emotional problems and not dealing well with stress. Was seeing a great therapist which was very helpful. However, my employer has changed our health insurance carrier and my therapist is not a provider for that ins. co. I am now also facing being let go from my current position at work - my employer has decided she must eliminate the position I am filling! It's all been very stressful and I'm not sure at this point what I am going to do. If I lose my job, I will also have no health insurance and that really scares me. I'm trying to keep a positive attitude - but it's been very hard to do so. Sorry for the whining - just having a bit of a pity party here. Please keep me in your thoughts as I trudge through the next few weeks of figuring out what I want to be when I grow up!!! My thoughts and prayers are with you all each day And again, many thanks to all who continue to inspire us with your courageous spirits and wisdom!!! Have a STRONG day! Carolyn

Hi to all . I too, have problems with sleep or lack of it! I've been back at work for almost 5 months - still part time, but almost always need 2 or 3 hr. nap when I get home! And when the weekend rolls around, I am DONE!!! I do wake several times in the night, often have nightmares and wake myself w/screaming or yelling. I have been on numerous meds. and now am only on citalapram and xanax. My headaches are better since I'm not on some of the other meds and I tend to sleep more restfully if I do a nice walk in the evening. Good sleep to all

Hi garyolly. Yes, welcome! As all have said, you're still in early days - and you are doing quite well!!! Do be good to yourself and rest as much as you can! I'm still learning what I can and can't do or how far to push the envelope! Trial and error method lol. I'm still in the crying stage and am finally accepting it all. Just read the post by Chris, Letter from my brain. Very helpful for me, as is this site and the people here! Take care Carolyn

Hi Lin - I'm pretty new here myself. Have read your posts and think you are doing quite well! Good luck to you w/your volunteer work. It always helps our own soul when we give to others Good for you! I'm 6mo. post SAH and coiling. Still learning my limits as each day is different! I am lucky to have co-workers who are very supportive and help me when I need it. And too, this site has been wonderful - all here are amazing survivors. Hope you get your needed sleep and have a great tomorrow! Take care, Carolyn

Ash I am a new member to this site and have found it to be soooooo helpful! I am sorry for your mom's condition and that you, too, are experiencing this. Many prayers and healing thoughts go out to you both! My 24 yr. old daughter stayed at the hospital w/me and refused to leave. She was terrified and very concerned of what might happen if she left. It is a very scary time for all involved and you are doing well to post on this site. The good people here and their encouraging words have helped me tremendously - you're not alone in this. In the mean time, do try and get some rest and take care of yourself! My heart goes out to you and your mom.