winter

Hi Damien, I'm sure your struggles make it difficult to see the improvements you've made, even though others see it. I think you are doing well to come here and talk it out - that's what this site is all about. Just knowing there are others out there that can relate and help you get through this difficult time of your life. Congrats on the press-ups! Major achievement I'm learning to appreciate even the littlest things that I complete and accomplish. It's hard and some days I feel hopeless, 'cuz I'm just not the same as I was before! But coming on BTG and reaching out for help, has been so enlightening for me. There are always people here ready and willing to help with their kind and encouraging words! Hang in there buddy - you're doing it! Stay strong!!! Hugs to you, Carolyn

Congrats to you on your 6 month mark!!! Well done I think you've been amazingly positive and so helpful to others through out your own recovery! Thank you for that I know the lack of support/knowledge that we receive after being released from hospital is next to nothing and has been frustrating for so many of us! We've all had to figure it out for ourselves, and for me - BTG was the best help (and still is) I received. I'm so glad we can all be here for each other, what a wonderful group we have!!! I'm so glad that you do take care of yourself and listen to your brain. You're a very smart woman! I also am pretty sure "why" in the bigger scheme of things, that my brain exloded too! Some life lessons for me that I'm coming to terms with and working on. Think somebody was knocking on my head, "Hello, McFly, are you in there?" You hang in there sweetie and keep doing all the good things for yourself. You'll know when you are ready to tackle the work setting again. Glad your GP and chiropractor are learning along with you - good for them. Not all of them are willing or will give the time of day to do so. Love to you Sandi!, Carolyn

Hi Jan! Don't have any answers about flying post elective coiling. Just wanted to let you know I'll be keeping you in my thoughts for upcoming surgery. I know this was a huge decision for you - so staying positive for great outcomes and that you're able to fly and enjoy your visit!!! Hugs to you, Carolyn

Again, thank you for all of your responses filled with love, comfort and excellent suggestions! I truly am grateful for all of you at BTG. It's heartwarming to know I can come here and feel understood and cared for in these situations! I know I'm not alone in this - I'm sure all of the help you've given me, is helping others here as well. It's amazing to me that just by opening up and letting it out, help comes pouring in You're an amazing bunch of people with hearts of gold! Love to you all, Carolyn

Thank you all, so very much, on your thoughts, caring words and suggestions. I do know that all of the health concerns and lifestyle changes (post SAH) have made the depression worse. And yes, sometimes even the smallest things are blown out of proportion (doing the dishes, getting the mail, etc...) I do walk daily - good thing for my dog, too! I meditate and say positive affirmations in effort to help myself. I do get together with friends when their schedules allow - they all work full time and have families. When we do get together, those are high points for me and I'm thankful for them . And my daughter, truly, has been amazing and my rock! I've had the medication adjusted, which was helpful for a while and I did have blood work done about 7 months ago - hormones good, just deficient in Vit. D (strange for any Floridian!! ) and B12. So I'm taking supplements for those as well. As I haven't before qualified for any free health care - as I was working, I've had to pay out of pocket for the few Dr. visits and CT scan I had done in Feb. The discounted rates for uninsured came to just under $500 1 of my medications costs $185 -my cost with special coupon is $65 -still not cheap. Health care in the states is absolutely ridiculous. At this, Paul, I can be angry So far, I haven't found any "free" support groups in my area. There are some in Tampa, which is the nearest large city - about a 45 minute drive, depending on traffic. I did call the social security disability office this a.m. and now have an appt. for May 16th. This is probably similar to your ESA medical hearings. So I will be gathering up dr. reports and the like for proof of my health conditions. Most people are denied numerous times, but I will remain hopeful for possible help - let the fight begin. I have "planned" on looking into volunteering and also taking classes w/my dog so he can be a therapy dog - I haven't actually done these things yet. Always have good intentions, but have been unable to get off my butt and act on these. I have always put on the smiley face - fake it 'til you make it, so most people have no idea how I really feel inside. I was brought up to not show emotions and keep your problems to yourself! It's not that i'm trying to fool anyone, just old tapes that still play in my head! Thank God for all of you and BTG - you've been my lifeline this past year. I know things will be better at some point - I will get there. Love to you all! Carolyn

I realize there have been many threads regarding depression. I am still having problems in this area and I'm wondering how those of you afflicted with this, are coping? What is it, in yourselves, that keeps you going and motivated? I'm on several anti-depressants, anti-anxiety meds and seem to be on a back-slide. I know that my home circumstances; lack of job, medical care, etc... aren't helping my situation but feel stuck as to make certain changes due to financial problems. I haven't been able to become gainfully employed and I'm barely able to contribute to the household finances. I know that there are so many people out there whom are suffering from far worse than I, and this makes me feel bad for whining about myself! I have moments and times where I feel good and thankful to be alive. I can easily encourage others and am empathetic to their plights, but I'm unable to do this for myself most of the time. I have suffered with depresion for MANY years prior to the SAH, but was able to function quite well - had medical care, counseling, etc... I have read hundreds (yes hundreds!) of self-help books, been part of different support groups and the like. So I do know the things I should be doing on my own, but lack the motivation and support to do such at this point. I'm not looking for sympathy, but maybe some experiences of others who've found some relief and been able to turn their lives around. I am inspired by so many people who've been able to move on and live fulfilling lives, while at the same time living with devestating disabilities. What is it that keeps you/them up and moving forward?

Woohoo Sandy! Enjoy the "new"quiet. I've had the whooshing before. I still get it occasionally, but not much anymore. Sometimes "things" still sound incredibly loud and here's a weird thing - my sense of smell seems to be much more acute since my SAH! Sometimes this is not so good Hope you have a great day Lady!

Hi Suzie! Welcome to BTG - this is such a helpful site and full of wonderful, supportive and caring people! While my SAH was due to a burst anuerysm, the after affects it seems, are the same. Many of of us were released from hospitals with no real specific instructions or help. It's funny, I was told my neurosurgeon was one of the best in the US too Wonder where they get these statistics! Mine was very kind and I liked him, but after being released, I was referred to a neurologist as the neurosurgeon had completed his part - and wasn't on my insurance plan! As far as 2nd opinions, if you've got the coverage for it, it certainly can't hurt and may set your mind at ease a bit as well. Do get plenty of rest, your body will tell you when you need to sleep or have overdone. And you'll here about drinking water - 3 liters a day seems to be the standard: it is necessary and REALLY does help. You've got your plate full with work and little ones on top of recovering from SAH! You've got a really positive attitude that will help see you through this. And BTG folks are here to help too Looking forward to hearing more from you, Carolyn

Hi Ronnie and welcome to BTG! You've found us so early on - Gooood for you!!! This is the place to be for answers and support from a wonderful bunch of people. As the others have said, Rest and Water (lots of it) will help. Hang in there and hope to hear from you soon! Take care, Carolyn

Hi Damien and welcome to BTG. So glad you've found the site! As many of the others have mentioned, the emotional side of our "new world" can be very difficult to deal with and if you can get professional help, definitely take advantage of it - and any other help offered. I saw a counselor for a brief time (brief because I was laid off of work and no longer had insurance to pay for it - I'm in the US). Even though it was a short stint, it was so very helpful. And truly, this site has been therapy for me because I can come on here and know I will be understood and supported in many ways! Hope to here more from you!!! Carolyn

I'm sure it must be so frustrating for you and the others who must continue to make appeals and fight for some kind of help. As Gary said, others with problems (that are more easily measured scientifically) seem to be able to get the help they need. In the US, this is also the case. While I was working at my old job, I saw many people obtain disability status - who just knew how to work the system and were actually fully capable of working! When I went back to work after the SAH, it was only for a few hours at a time, a few days a week. I applied for short term disability and was turned down. Because I was able to work (be it a few hours a week), this meant I was not disabled in any way. My disabilities were subjective and could not be measured except by my words and those of my co-workers who supported me. Frustrating indeed. I do hope you will keep up the fight as the others have. Hang in there and stay strong! It may take a while, but I'm sure they'll come around as they have for others. Staying positive for you

Welcome to BTG Fremen! Glad you found us here. Most excellent place for answers, support and new friendships! Do rest up and drink water, water, water! Feel free to ask any questions and/or share your feelings here. Looking forward to hearing more from you! Take care, Carolyn

Nessie!!! That was excellent - so proud of you! I'm sitting here blubbering like a baby (good blubbering ) Your words of courage are very inspiring to me. Thank you so much for sharing Stay Strong! Carolyn

1 and only! Burst - 3mm, 4 platinum coils. Don't know what grade the bleed was, I think maybe a small bleed but will have to get out my paperwork and look at it. I don't recall them talking about the grade?

Hi Shelly and as the others have said, WELCOME!!! These damned annies are scary stuff and you def don't need any more stress from your work place!!! YOU come 1st. I had a follow up angio 6 mo. after my coiling. I was under what they call a twilight sleep. Started to come about when they were placing the seal, think they gave me a little more sedation, then woke in recovery. No problems. A bit of bruising at the site along with tenderness. The nurses gave instructions to take it easy and lay around at home the rest of the day. I did not go to work the next day, as was also very tired. If I remember right, mine was done on a Thursday, stayed home Friday and had the weekend at home then. Hang in there sweetie. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers. Looking forward to hearing more from you! Carolyn

Thanks you for sharing your amazing and inspirational recovery and positive attitude! It is great to hear others who've gone on and accomplished so much . GOOD FOR YOU With love, Carolyn

Another good thread - I remember one similar a while back. It's intereting how different doctors approach our family histories and our own lifestyles. I know my paternal grandmother had a stroke and TIAs - although she was quite elderly when these occurred. Healthy all her life otherwise. My dad, his brother and faher all had high BP and heart disease - they all smoked and died of heart attacks. My dad also had cancer. My mom's mother had diabetes, had a stroke in her 80s and died. My mom had high BP, obesity, ovarian cancer and died at 58. I have only 1 uncle left - he's now in his late 70s and has had cancer. My neurologist told me one of my articulating arteries is much smaller than the other, which is probably what caused my aneurysm to form. He told me my 2 adult children should have MRAs done as in my case, the malformed artery could be hereditary (even though I have no knowledge of this with any relatives). He and the interventional radiologist, who placed my coils, have both told me that smoking is the worst thing I could do, as this constricts the blood vessels. I have smoked since I was 14. When I had my first MRA 6 mo. post SAH, I was asked if I realized my smoking could possibly cause another aneurysm to form and therefore cause another SAH!!!! Talk about shame and guilt I am still smoking and I wory every time I light up - although for some sick reason, it seems not enough of a scare to make me stop:oops: I was quite healthy for the most part, before my SAH.

Moring Karen! Good to hear you've at least gotten some more information. Sorry to hear that you've had seizures, though. I'm sure it must be a scary time. Hopefully all will settle down soon and you'll get more reassurance from next dr. visit. Will keep you in my thoughts and prayers! Good for you with your phased return to work! Just listen to your body and ony do what you can. Take good care, hon. Carolyn

Welcome, Julie! You have certainly been through a tremendous ordeal!!! It sounds as though you are recovering quite well, considering what you've been through. Your positive attitude will keep you going Ditto what the others have said. Do take care and get the rest you need! Looking forward to hearing more from you! With love and healing energy, Carolyn

Dear Zoe, I am so very sorry to hear of this most difficult position you are still in. I feel for you so. I believe you are a tremendously strong and caring woman, and wouldn't have made it thus far otherwise! I agree with what Lynne and Sami have already said. While your love for the "old" Richard has held you through up until now, you obviously are thinking of yourself and your dear children as well...and rightfully so. Unfortunately, it appears that Richard is quite unstable emotionally and even dangerous not only to others, but to himself as well. I do hope you are able to find some help for you and the kids - you're facing some very difficult decisions and need support in helping you through whatever it is you must do. Sending huge hugs your way, sweetie. Know that we are all here for you - just love and support! If you want a chat, pm me anytime. With love, Carolyn

Good moring Ian! I commented on your story already - so, good to see you in the green room as well!!! Huge welcome to you! So now you know you're not alone in all this - we're all here to help one another and it is so comforting to have people you can talk with and share your experiences. We have all been through it and empathise - we "get" each other When they say 3 liters, they really mean it. I can make a huge difference with many of the symptoms. I'm just a little over a year since my SAH and thought I'd been getting plenty of water...until I actually measured it all out last week! OMG - it's a lot of water, but having been feeling pretty good the last few days. Hang in there buddy and keep coming back!!! Carolyn

Hello Fiona! A big and warm welcome to BTG!!! Good for you for being able to find us so quickly - well done Ditto on what all the others have said regarding recovery. Looking forward to hearing more from you. Sending you hugs and healing energy from across the pond (US), Carolyn

I've always had vivid dreams, and talk in my sleep as well. Years ago I kept a dream journal and it's quite interesting to go back and read it now - what was happening in my life at the time was certainly reflected in my dreams. Think I could write some scary books from some of them:yikes: - Nessie, you probably could as well! Some meds do cause nightmares, strange and vivid dreams with hallucinatory after effects. That's scary all on its own! I did notice after the SAH, I didn't dream much. That lasted about 6 weeks. Then the night terrors came. Shouting and screaming out - not only did I wake my partner, but I woke myself as well! I've also, unknowingly:shock:, hit him during some of these nightmares! After I started taking the xanax, a lot of this stuff has settled down some. Nick is thankful for this and so am I. Still have very vivid dreams, some lucid (where you realize within the dream, that you're dreaming and can change how the dream is going!) Our brains are truly amazing and strange in the way they work!

Nessie - that was too funny! Made me laugh out loud. My partner just woke up - hearing me laughing, asked what was so funny and I shared it w/him. His reply was, "You might need a handful of those swabs". Life is a joy

Hahaha Lynne! That was perfecto